Games rule

Rolling up the contents of a town into a big, sticky ball.

I've been playing Paradox games, so I'm probably going straight to the Hague and deserving it

Bringing democracy to the wider galaxy.

Beating wild animals into submission, capturing them and putting them to work in a shack I built in the woods.

Placing a billion conveyor belts, strip mining a planet with no regard to the pollution I caused, and full scale genocide against the native bugs who already lived there.

Sorry, biters, I gotta launch my rocket.

Trafficking humans, putting them in tiny 1x1m cages where they cannot sit, force them to do cheap labour, separate their children at birth, and kill them if they are too expensive...

Fuck I love Minecraft!

Fishing

I didn't realise our poaching laws were that severe

Poluting the environment with my selfbuild automated factorys and thus enrage the local bug population (wich i sadly now have to nuke)

Spreading democracy for the glory of Super Earth!

I picked a bad time to close a porn game.

Building a miles-long cobblestone road through mountains and over frozen rivers to a farming village from my house on a snowy plain then entering peoples homes while they sleep and cleaning them out of any food and valuables. Also crop theft.

And maybe pushing that wild pig into my fenced in pasture from the mountainside because I didn't have any carrots to lure him in willingly.

Building a house in the woods without planning permission.

Strip mining a planet, refining raw materials, building factories, and researching new technology. All to build a rocket to get off said planet.

Turning the universe into paperclips

Assault, battery, torture, stalking, breaking & entering, trespassing, destruction of property, illegal search & seizure, tampering with evidence, aiding & abetting, reckless driving, speeding, operation of an unlicensed vehicle, unlawful interception, child endangerment, unlawful imprisonment, conspiracy, and, of course, vigilantism

But absolutely zero murder

Warframe Makes the Geneva convention a grocery list.

Food was very sparce so I had to butcher the last prisoner we had. And we didnt even get much meat, he was missing both legs and an arm from the raid he came with.

I was merging different colored jellies. It's actually pretty relaxing lol

Sweats in Stellaris

Rocking and stoning

Impersonating a defense attorney.

Probably for driving truck into car while being drunk. (the former in game, letter in RL).

Ecological warfare on a planet-wide scale

I will be protecting and distributing managed democracy across the galaxy.

FOR SUPER EARTH!

Spreading Managed Democracy.

Calling in a 500kg bomb to kill a few bugs.

Mining rocks and killing bugs. Hey we all gotta make a living

The last game I played was Insurgency, and I was playing as the "Security" side, so I'm golden. I could commit genocide and they wouldn't fucking touch my ass.

Having six throwing stars and a shitload of buffs... as a potato

I may have harvested my beets a little late.

Eradicating an entire species of bugs

Id get a medal for defending democracy.

Attempting to win at poker with a collection of rocks, glass and, cards I have doodled on.

Democracy (it was helldivers)

Public inebriation, disturbing the peace

(Rock and Stone ⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️)

Tax Fraud.

Unlicensed space travel

Falcon punching Pikachu.