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I have always found this argument to be hilarious in a deeply sexist way.
Why? Because it takes two to tango.
If young women really did find older men repulsive and creepy, why do so many of them date older men? Why do a fair number of them marry older men, especially in this era of unprecedented economic opportunities for women?
The fact is, such attitudes against a very historically normal pairing is shaming two people who are functional adults for their very adult choices and decisions.
Or do you somehow disagree that an 18-yo woman isn’t a “functional adult”? Because I see that attitude of infantilizing and bubble-wrapping women against the consequences of their own choices and decisions as deeply sexist, and a prime example of misogyny.
Meanwhile, men of that exact same age can be forcibly conscripted to fight and die in some foreign oil-war that they never had an opportunity to vote against. How are we adult enough at that age to die without any choice in the matter, but women aren’t adult enough to choose whom to be with?
Gotta love that gender bigotry.
People are probably not functional adults until 23-25. But it's harder to mold a 25yo to die in a war for you than a 18yo.
I do agree with your general point - it takes two to tango. And a lot of the older women complaining have themselves dated across the chasm when they were younger.
It always felt odd to me and still does though - I feel that the larger the gap the more it reveals deeper issues for both sides.
What I also find deeply hypocritical is how many of these women treat a gender chasm in the first place:
- Young woman with older man? That pervert! He’s a pedophile!!
- Older woman with a young guy? You go, girl! Ride him like a cowgirl!
And yes, that age gap can be identical in both examples.
And yet plenty of women also shame older women that are preying on much younger men too. That's not making a point it's trying to make an excuse.
plenty of women also shame older women that are preying on much younger men too
I have never seen that happen in my entire life.
Not. Once.
Not saying it doesn’t happen, but it must only happen behind closed doors - without any public censure whatsoever - in ways that doesn’t happen for older men with younger women.
Older men, in comparison, are very publicly shamed.
Well if you've never seen it then it's never happened obviously
For me, it's not the age gap so much as maturity gap and, more importantly, the power differential. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I didn't have my shit together in any way nor did I have a good level of maturity and self-confidence.
The power differential between one in their 40s or 50s (hell, even 30s) and late-teens/early-twenties means that healthy relationships are the exception, not the norm.
Bro have you seen how much Larsa Pippen has been (rightfully imo) dragged in the Bravo community for dating Marcus Jordan?!
That shit ain't cute in either direction!
Larsa Pippen
Who?
Bravo community
What’s that? Some sort of spanking-new social media platform? Certainly less than 6 days old, otherwise I would have heard of it.
Marcus Jordan
Who?
Edit: had to google all of these. I have no clue who any of the “Reality TV” stars are, not into basketball, and as for “Bravo”, I never even thought about TV channels as I have not watched actual broadcast TV since 2003.
Lmao I had to rep my Housewives because I had to leave the Bravo subreddits back on reddit and we don't have a community here. I never pass up a chance to toss it out there in case there are other lost Housewives fans floating around Lemmy. 😅
Anyhow, yes, Larsa Pippen was married to Scottie Pippen for years, including when he played on the Chicago Bulls with Michael Jordan (late 80s/early 90s). Marcus Jordan (Michael's son) was already born by then. Scottie and Michael were a duo in the 90s, paired together in NBA games and whatnot, pretty much the faces of the Bulls franchise.
Larsa Pippen is 49. Since divorcing Scottie, she's gotten together with Marcus Jordan (33). She's been absolutely dragged by Bravo fans due to the age difference, and because there is a nonzero chance she knew Marcus when he was in pull-ups (she denies this).
The point I was making was, even if it's an older woman going after a younger man, gross behavior is gross behavior. It's not cute in either direction. We call out ladies too!
It makes me wonder why people praise Harold and Maude and vilify Manhattan, though I suppose the director of Harold and Maude didn't marry someone Harold's age. But most people agree that Harold walked away a better person, despite having Maude woo him and rip herself away immediately.
But it's harder to mold a 25yo to die in a war for you than a 18yo.
Yup. Between education and maturity, I became a (mostly) pacifist by 25, after fully intending to join up before I started uni.
It's been scientifically proven that 18 year olds' brains aren't fully developed. Biologically, no you are not an adult at 18. Arguing that it's all good because both parties are ostensibly consenting adults is besides the point. The older party, no matter what gender, shouldn't be chasing people well outside their peer group. There's obviously a layer of manipulation when 2 people of wildly different ages get together.
18 year olds aren't really adults.
why do so many of them date older men?
Do they?
Or do you somehow disagree that an 18-yo woman isn’t a “functional adult”?
I do, because your brain doesn't finish maturing until you're 25.
Meanwhile, men of that exact same age can be forcibly conscripted to fight and die in some foreign oil-war that they never had an opportunity to vote against.
That's wrong, too. The age of conscription should be 25, for the reason I gave above.
First of all, like 5% of women date or marry men 10+ years older than them. That's not a huge percentage or even a "fair number" of women.
Second, and that being said, if you spend time with people in their early 20s, the maturity gap between women and men seems pretty obvious to me. That's not across the board, and it's not always the case, but your average 22yo woman and your average 22yo man are often worlds apart in their life goals, daily habits, general maturity, career and educational trajectories, etc.
For instance you have young men babbling about how they can be drafted, and how it takes two to tango, and how it's unfair that they're still treated like children while simultaneously looking for a hottie that will also be their mom.
Women go to college at higher rates. They succeed in college at higher rates. They graduate at higher rates. They seek postgraduate degrees at higher rates.
Your average 22yo woman is significantly more mature in terms of creating a professional life than a corresponding 22yo man that is still trying to make his professional gaming and YouTube career work. His YouTube career, incidentally, is just his gamertag with "YT" in front of it.
There's a reasonable case to be made, based on the relative rates of cognitive development across genders, that until about 27-29, women are, generally but not always, more mature than their male peers.
You just argued for men not being drafted at 18 - they are mere kids. Women, on the other hand!
I didn't argue for anyone being drafted. I was referencing how the person I was responding to mentioned it.
Just say you're attracted to teenagers and stop wasting everyone's time. The answers to your questions have been discussed countless times.
Creep.