Anon overestimates their mass

be me
was kinda popular in HS
our friend group had an orbiter and we all stuck around after graduation
now in college
orbiter has gotten closer with some members of the friend group I guess
he gets on my nerves because he can't just find his own group
last week he texts me
"hey man do you wanna grab lunch together? I'm buying"
think he's just trying to suck up to me
say sure but blow him off
he texts me again a couple days later
"we can just grab a beer if you want, I just wanna catch up"
why wont this guy take the hint
just leave him on read
ffw like two weeks
find out from my friends that he asked each of us individually if we wanted to grab dinner
everybody else said yes
find out he got a big inheritance and gave each of them around $1000
his "best friend" he bought a new phone and gave him $4000 for tuition

guys i fucked up bad. 1000 dollars would unironically change my life right now

26 comments

Plot twist: Anon was actually the annoying orbiter and the guy with the inheritance was just trying to be nice because no one else in the friend group ever invites Anon to anything
Double plot twist: there is no friend group and Anon is actually just describing something he saw on TV
- Given they're on 4Chan, the odds of anon being the annoying orbiter without realising it is definitely non-zero
- there is no friend group and Anon is actually just describing something he saw on TV
  Well that’s just cheating, you can say that to every greentext.
  
  Honestly I've always just assumed that's what like 75% of greentexts are anyway
- That's some twist in a greentext. I usually start with "at least 80% likely to be fake" and adjust upwards from there.
- A week late, but the twist I expect: OP is the orbiter but no inheritance and wanted to hang out with one of the group friends (any of them) one on one but no one is interested so OP came up with a fantasy where they are losing out for not hanging out with him.
AITA for thinking most people who say "$1000 would change my life" would certainly not have their lives changed by that money? In this example, with the new phone being pointed out (4000 for tuition aside), I cant help but imagining he'd just buy a new computer or a pile of games.
Realistically what can $1000 buy (in the US) that actually changes a life?
- Honestly just the mental stability of having $1,000 in a saving account would probably change my life. Having a sub 20k income probably gives me a unique perspective, though
- They might have about $1000 debt at that moment and they know they have no chance of getting out of it with their current finances. So this would eliminate the debt in one go.
  But thats pretty specific of course.
  
  That would be indeed life changing. Thanks for the perspective.
  
  Even then it doesn't really change anything. He might be back to 0 debt for a moment, but one bad event (broken phone, medical emergency, car accident...) is all it takes for the debt to pile back up.
- Car repair, hot water heater repair, house repair of some kind that you can’t afford, any random 1000 thing you can’t afford but need, a doctors appt and medicine, etc.
  You’re not an asshole but you might be out of touch.
  
  All important things for sure. But life changing implies that this $1000 single handedly turn their life around.
  When you are poor the $1000 might be quite a bit of money, and very useful to have, but afterwards you're still poor. That's my issue with that kind of statement.
  When used to prevent a life and death situation it sure saved your life, but did it turn it around?
- Paying rent is pretty life changing to me
- A bit yeah. When you're riding that razor's edge of living check to check it can buy a lot of peace of mind
- That's like almost 2 mortgage payments. If you were on the verge of eviction it might be life changing I guess.
  $1000 is also just enough to buy a probably very shitty used car. That could change someone's life if it helped them get a job.
  That could also buy groceries for several months if you were waiting for a new job to start
  Probably none of this would apply to Anon of course, since he has never had a job and lives in the basement at his elderly mothers house...
- A handful of therapy sessions
- a fully upgraded retro ThinkPad
anon says he was popular in high school
Fake
asked out to dinner by another guy
Gay
Anon doesn't feel bad about being a dick to someone looking for friends, but only feels bad because he missed the chance to scam $1000 out of a desperate guy
Hopefully fake and gay
Hooray. Orbiter didn't get used.
Anon is a user asshole and i hope nothing but bad things happen to him.
Fake. Anon is the orbiter and wants to invite someone from the friend group, likely for nefarious reasons. He knows or believes the person in question browses 4Chan and is spreading this story as a cautionary tale to make them less likely to refuse.
The kind of plot you'd see in a Scumbag Dad short

26 comments