Now that I'm in my thirties, I can answer this. Two things come to mind.
First, really should have just done college after high school. I really wasn't looking forward to more school after graduation and wasted about 5 years before going back for my CS degree. I'm in a good place now, but could have had a 5 year head start on life if I'd just gone straight in.
Second, please take better care of your health while you have it. I was skinny as a rail in my early 20s and sort of took that for granted. I'm not obese or anything right now, but as you get older keeping in shape takes conscious upkeep. Get in the habit now and it'll be easier to maintain later. It's harder to lose the weight once you have it rather than keep it off.
great answer. im currently doing what you were doing all those years ago, procrastinating more school, so you and the other person's response about getting a degree sooner rather than later are resonating with me. if only i knew what to get a degree in š and great advice about health, especially dental hygiene
My advice for picking a degree: pick something that you want to do, but also something marketable. The degree is useless if you can't get a job in it.
If you're worried about college being difficult, it can be, but 95% of your success is going to be based on motivation. I was a TA in college, and the best students were the ones that asked questions, came to office hours, and participated. I saw many a "smart kid" bomb a test due to overconfidence.
If you're not sure what to do, you can start with general education credits or even do the first part of your degree at a community college to save money. A lot of times a 2 year associates degree will serve as the first 2 years of a bachelor's.
As others have stated here, CS might be a good fit for you. I donāt have ADHD, but Iām neurodivergent, above average intelligence, and easily bored. I also know that, for me, work is absolutely shit. CS has allowed me to have an endless array of related skills to veer off into side quests, projects, whatever you want to call them. It keeps me from stagnating and the pay can be enough motivation to show up.
I was able to get in the best shape of my life in my late 30s, but it took living alone, not having enough money for food, and having four acres of property to keep up so I could sell my house.
Mowing for three hours on a small bowl of rice and beans or pasta with vegetables three times a week will melt that fat right off. But you'll be miserable almost the entire time.
Not served in the military.
Whatever it is you're talking about right now: not service connected
Sincerely, VA
"I don't know anything about your problem with the military but you're wrong to blame the military for it" yeah, checks out as a typical response - lol.
Basic dietary and lifestyle improvements, especially as they relate to snacking, are drastically easier to make when you don't have a decade's worth of bad habits holding you back. I wish I'd started cutting back on pops and energy drinks and chips and chocolate at 22 instead of waiting until I was 32 years old and pre-diabetic.
Also, fucking floss. It's not bullshit, and it's not a scam to help Big Dental sell you flavoured string. It's a real thing you should actually do. Especially if you're like me, still eating like a fucking teenager into your 30s.
Upvote for ānot a scam to help Big Dental sell you flavoured string.ā
I'm sure you're probably looking for answers like "took LSD" or "partied with friends" but, from someone that did that, my answer is 100%, without question: got a fucking degree. Any kind of degree. Now, in my late 30s, I don't have time between work and family obligations. I've missed out on so many better paying jobs, even ones that I was over qualified for based on experience, because I don't have a degree.
smart answer! need to get on this, im nearly 21 :0 my big issue is i dont know what to go for
It doesn't even need to be a degree, honestly. You could go learn a trade. There are many trades that pay much more than many white-collar desk jobs. I'd say check out your local community college, trade school, or similar to see if anything looks interesting. Contact them and request more information or even a tour if something does. Regardless of the route you take, you definitely want to learn some sort of marketable skill. Also, there's nothing wrong with pursuing a career that's just tolerable or boring, but pays the bills. You can seek fulfillment outside of work.
As far as not knowing what to go for at 21, I just worked after graduating high school at 18, and it wasn't until I was 23 that I decided to go back to school.
Definitely go to college before having kids. Iād also encourage you to travel, and have fun. Iām in my 40ās now, and although I went to college and obtained my degree before having kids, that was like my singular focus. I was married by 21 and had my first baby by 23.
Obviously Iād never regret my three daughters. I just wish Iād gone mountain climbing, bungee jumping, skydiving, traveling, scuba diving the coral reefs, learned how to ride a horse and maybe become a cowboyā¦ etc
For sure I could 100% do any and all of those things now.. but that would take energy, and time off from work, and who knows the nextlevel shenanigans my now 3 teenage daughters would get up to while momās on a midlife -existential -fact finding missionā¦
Ohā¦ yeahā¦ listen to the flossing advice too. Dental pain can be excruciating.
Definitely travel. It would've been nice to be able to get out of the states for a few weeks before I had all of the responsibilities that come with a full-time job, folks depending on me, a whole-ass flock of birds, etc etc.
My goal is now to (hopefully) travel before I'm 40 (currently 34, 35 in October). I'd like to hit up the UK (I've got a good friend there) and Japan (I'm a huge weeb), if possible.
My advice to the youngins out there: If you've got the means, definitely do a bit of travel between either highschool and college or college and a full-time job.
Agreed. Travel if you can when you're young, or just make sure to not have kids or put it off a while so you can get to a more money-making part of your career and can afford it more without being tied down by children.
Can't tell if that's a joke but sounds awesome that you're taking care of a whole-ass flock of birds :p
It's actually more like three, but for one woman, that counts as a flock.
Absolutely agree. If I could go back in time I'd find some way to visit Asia and Africa in my 20s, maybe involving working as an ESL teacher (as many of my friends did this throughout Asia).
I was lucky enough to be an exchange student in High School in Western Europe and do some traveling in college in South America. After that, I wasn't able to afford travel until I was in my 30s. So for anyone still in High School reading this, be sure to apply to any study abroad programs now!
I took three years of Spanish at my High School, and at 16 years old, went to Costa Rica for three weeks as a Foreign exchange student. I hosted an exchange student in my second year from Costa Rica. We become very good friends and penpals! It was the only time in my life I was outside the USA. I lived with a host family for two weeks, and the last week I stayed with the family I had hosted my second year.
Besides the obvious language immersion and attending a high school there. I also went on the planned trips. It was amazing! Went to the rain forest twice. Walking tour on 1, gondola ride along the canopy on 2nd. Saw a volcano erupt, went white water rafting in the rain forest. Both of my host families also took me to various locations that they liked too. Saw coffee fields, and beaches etc.
I also did stupid shit (I was 16yrs old soā¦ obviously I did stupid shit). Examples areā¦ went out to bars and clubs with my host sibling, (my passport did say I was 16, but they didnāt deny me from buying alcohol or cigarettes etc). That was fun then, but as a parent and an adult now.. I realize just how dangerous it was. As a passenger in cars thereā¦ it was terrifying. They drove so Fucking fast! And there were literally livestock in the middle of the highways sometimes.. and they didnāt slow down.. they just steered around and beside these huge animals like it was a āfroggerā gameā¦ š¬
All in all thoughā¦ it was a memorial experience. And I donāt regret going.
Invest in stocks. Get a four year degree. Purchase a shitty starter home even if you don't like it.
why would you invest in stocks?
Compound interest. Buy into a total market index fund that will get you more or less 7% on average a year. Letās say you have a $100 extra per month (doesnāt actually matter whatever you can afford).
Sally from age 20-30 puts her $100 in every month. At the end she has about $16000. She stops adding anything, but keeps that money invested. By 65 she has $170k.
Jeff doesnāt start investing until heās 30, but heās consistent and does the same thing, $100 a month from 30-65. He ends up with about $165k.
What that means is Sally made more money than Jeff even though she did the same thing for 10 years that he did for 35. She just started earlier.
While it doesn't necessarily need to be stocks, investing early will greatly reduce your financial burden later down the road if you want to save for retirement. Check out the cost of waiting:
https://www.primerica.com/public/high-cost-of-waiting.htmlTime in the market > timing in the market every time.
I think better advice would be "invest/save" in general. You could just throw money into a mutual fund, index fund, savings account, whatever. If you get a job with an employer matched 401k, max that out. I don't think you need to worry about trying to play the stock market by buying individual stocks. You'll end up spending way too much time doing it for minimal gains over an index fund, and a lot of the time you're just basically gambling on what companies you think are going to do well.
If you're unhappy now, in your 20s, do something about it NOW. I'm in my mid30s, and I doubled down several times on the "generic success" pathway - career, marriage, house.
I am fucking miserable. At this point, I have trouble justifying extracting myself from any of it. If I had just ripped a few bandaids off at 25, I'd be in a way different situation.
Nothing in you is core. If it isn't serving you in a way to get what you truly want, find a new way to interact with the world. No one else will do it for you.
I wish I didn't fear getting old back then. I felt old at 23, 25, and 28 and dreaded reaching my 30s. It made me feel it was too late to do things and made me settle for less way too many times.
I am in my early 30s now and no longer give a fuck. You are only as old as you think you are. I'm now trying to get started on things I wish I had done in my 20s, and hoping I reach my potential a decade from now.
I got a degree and took a lot of drugs. But I think I should have been more sensitive and treated people better. That said, I believe your twenties is truly about being a dick so you can learn why being a dick is not a good idea in Capital Letters for the rest of your life.
(I'm literally 40 today, have a wife and a son, and main concerns are getting the shopping done on time and playing digital board games)
Killed myself.
Need someone to listen?
Permanently Deleted
I wish I'd gotten help for my anxiety disorder while I had access to health insurance in my early 20's.
Had better work and fitness.
