are you sure?

technically its confidence and hygiene.

Hygiene, manners, fitness, generally not being a creep.
- "fitness"
  Highly exaggerated by the masculinist movement, I know many people who aren't in good shape and never were that have a relationship/family life that most would envy
- As a woman I would like to add that the Fitness part is not true. Of course if you want to ask out a gym girl she will care about fitness, but also if you want to ask a "fashion" girl out she will care about fashion and so on. Know your target before putting effort in the wrong thing. I'm the type that cares zero about fitness.
  Hygiene, manners and not being a creep is default tho. Please do that.
- Younger generations also need appropriate internet socialization for the social medias. Need to not live under a rock but also not go off the deep end of Insta or 4chan, respectively.
  The finer details of making friends on a discord server befuddles me.
The sketch with squigly lines here doesn't just represent hygiene. It shows how doomed he is
- You see doom, I see a montage worthy makeover.

Also being ok with rejection

But repeated rejection has an effect of reinforcing our undesirableness, and takes a toll on our self-esteem. How do people cope with this?
- Friends, family, therapy.
- Why assume a rejection is because of you?
  Why not assume they are having a bad day, they are just out of a previous relationship and they want a break, your just not their type (even if you had all the abs and a chiseled jaw and confidence they wouldn't be interested), what if they aren't into your gender, or what if they are in a committed relationship with their horse?
  There are a lot of things that can cause it to be a no deal that are not your fault. If you feel like you did a good job asking, then it is probably one of the above.
- Alcohol!
- That circles back around to confidence
- Fake it till you make it. Confidence still works, even if its faked
If romantic comedies have taught me anything, it's to never take "no" for an answer, and it's ok to stalk people because it will all just work out in the end when they realize what they've been missing this whole time.
- Jeez I wonder if the prevalence of this trope could have overreaching social consequences
- This is unironically how my grandparents met, did help that my grandfather was rather intelligent and decently competent. Shame he was a dumbass and gave himself lung cancer, wear a mask when working with aerosols it may save your life.

I love seeing how this crusty bastard devolves over time. I don't know that anyone can make him look any worse at this point.

This version gives me Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark with the OG illustrations that were deemed “too scary” for children
His forehead constitutes 50% of his face but is relatively clean. We need more scabbed over zits.
his eyes are still pretty decent
There was an even worse version but it was pretty gory like actually fucking horrible
Wojack Rickety Cricket

Some of it's also probably situation based.

If you hit on every single person of the gender that you like at one gym, they'll probably start to feel like you really just want just anyone who will say yes. They'll probably feel like you don't like them for them, and that you're just trying to keep your bed warm. Most people who want relationships want to be with someone who likes them individually as a person. Try not to write "scripts" for the situation in your head too much, either. If you do, it might crash and burn the second that someone goes off of that "script".

It's kind of tragic how all of this has become. A relationship likely won't fix any problems you might have with yourself, nor would it fix most of the other aspects of your life. A partner will also have their own needs and wants, and you should try to have room to provide some of that before you start dating.

Don't listen to guys like Tate. If he really had good advice, more people from his fan base would be in a happy relationship now, no? He makes money by making you continue to watch his videos. That's all he cares about. He's giving you bad advice so he can keep making money off of your sadness. That's not a bro thing to do.

Don't follow the plot of any rom-coms. That behaviour is usually a fantastic way to get a restraining order and absolutely ruin any chances you might have had with that person.

Find the little things that make you happy. Gardening? MTG? Video games? Hockey? Drawing? MMA? Take the time to properly enjoy those things that you love with the people who are already around you. It will help build some of that confidence. Let youself be passionate about your hobbies sometimes. It's ok, I promise.

Try not to worry too much if you mess up or if you ruin your chances with one person. There are over 8 billion people on earth, so there's almost always someone else you can try with. NO ONE succeeds 100% of the time, and that is more than OK. That is human.

Don't beat yourself up over not succeeding right away. Unless you are literally currently on your death bed, you still have time.

Outside of the dating stuff, be kind to youself, and try to make sure you're taking care of yourself. Self care isn't just fitness and healthy eating. Sometimes could be having pizza in the bath, sometimes it might be playing DnD over multiple continents, sometimes it might be watching cartoons, and sometimes it could even be something like skincare. Your happiness is important, and you should treat it as such.

As long as it doesn't harm anyone else in the process, please do what you need to do to feel happy. Life is too short to pause your happiness for someone who hasn't shown up yet. Life is too short to wait to improve things until you meet someone who hasn't shown up yet.

You deserve happiness, and the sooner you acknowledge that, the better. Find happiness despite what life might throw at you. Try to find joy even in chaos, and always remember that bad feelings usually don't last forever. You can get through these hard times.

Try not to write "scripts" for the situation in your head too much, either.
How else do you expect me to interact with people?
Take the time to properly enjoy those things that you love with the people who are already around you.
Who?
- If you don't have anyone, then look for hobby groups. There's groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that. Doesn't even have to be in person, if the thought of meeting new people irl triggers your anxiety. And if you're bad at talking to people then you need to practice, fail and learn from your mistakes.
  If you have the desire to improve, you'll manage. Just take it slow and don't force yourself to get into very uncomfortable or new situations right away. Like, for example, big parties.
  Over time, you'll get better at improvising during conversations and you'll get more confident. And if there's people who try to shit on you for trying your best, don't worry. They're actually a lot more insecure then you'll ever be at that point.
That's maybe the most helpful and positive thing I've seen on a shitpost. And honestly, I needed to hear some of that, so thank you.
I’ve followed this advice exactly for many years, and it lead me to a simple conclusion: These things that make me happy don’t connect in any way to relationship possibilities, and relationships will not make your life any happier. In short, dating is for chumps.

Perhaps a shower and a haircut wouldn’t hurt.

I'm having my weekly shower later today! 👍

I've seen way too many guys who think they're uglier than they are. Confidence and Comedy really are great ways to have a shot, even if you're faking the confidence. Its a tough lesson, but you DO need to sell yourself a little

I always joke that I snagged my wife by being funny. Then she laughs. Then I'm like "See!?" It's a great bit. She insists I'm handsome. I don't see it. The parts of me she compliments aren't even things I'm conscious of.
- Yeah, exactly. Not only are a lot of men nowhere NEAR as ugly as they think they are, ugly is also subjective, and theres gonna be a partner who probably thinks you're physically hot

With the rate of obsessive angry men in the world, I’d be amazed at any woman brave enough to give a straight “No” instead of a nonspecific answer used to get themselves out of the situation.
People aren’t just dealing with ”No”, but “No, and the chances that you’re a rapist are high enough I’m now scared of you and won’t give you a straight answer”.
- If someone thinks you're a rapist then you're probably doing something wrong.
- Yeah that's fair. "No" in this case is just if you try to see if someone wants to do more than just occasionally and/or randomly see each other. That happens when you're trying to make new friends, etc.
  There's a lot of ways to say no. I just meant it generally. But I feel you.
  The overwhelming majority of men aren't rapists. But the overwhelming majority of rapists are men.
  You're smart and insightful, and even though maybe sometimes people don't see it, I see it. And this was an important comment to make. Thank you for your bravery. Truly.

Confidence in yourself takes work. Confident people are confident because they loved themselves first and you take care of those you love

nah you start by faking it and being ironically confident until you trick yourself and it becomes second nature. replace self deprecating humor with god complex humor until you believeeeee
- I mean, 6 of one. If you feel better and aren't a total dick to everyone I think that's a win
- yikes
Why do some people "love themselves first" and some do not?
- Because it's effort and not everybody is up to doing that work for one reason or another. We all have self doubt and it takes a lot to push past that sometimes
Confident people are confident because they are handsome, therefore their advances work more often than not, leading to more confidence.
Confidence is not what makes someone attractive, it's the other way around.
- True confidence is the assurance that who you are is good enough, not that you're perfect and need no improvement, but that if you're doing your best to respect other people that you deserve the same.
  If your "confidence" changes based on how others treat you, then it's not truly self-esteem but rather pride and ego.
Sure real confidence does, but fake confidence is a good step on that path, and is better than none at all

Cartoon memes are starting to resemble actual art

You gotta show up for yourself before you're gonna get the girl my dude. Fix those open sores on your face and shave.

and I thought open source was a good thing...
- And for the love of god, F(L)OSS.
and shave
Shaving is for losers. BEARDS rule!

It's all he needs. You on the other hand... had better be a trillionaire. :-P

WHY ARE WE INCEL POSTING

Are we? I hate how everyone who struggles with relationships is instantly called an incel.
- I wish there was a better way to distinguish between small-i incel (a life condition you'd like to change) and big-I Incel (a toxic social movement).
- Well, this meme is specifically promoting the notion that how attractive you look directly correlates to your ability to date people. When how you look is not the be all end all of dating.
  This general concept of one's "biologically ordained appearance" being incompatible with finding love and relationships is closely tied with incel ideology. The "black pill" is generally used to denote that you're biologically and immutably so unattractive that you will never be able to "compete in the sexual marketplace." Felt gross just typing that. It's also attached to the conspiracy theory of "hypergamy," that you're so unattractive that even women of "comparable conventional attractiveness" won't ever date you.
  The message of the meme, that someone is so unattractive they can not date anyone at all, is not explicitly incel ideology, but that notion is closely tied to it. In all likelihood this meme was made by someone in the incel community or who regularly consumes incel content.
- This is absolutely an incel meme. Incel ideology hinges on always placing the blame on something external (often women and genetics) for their problems, never their own actions. If someone were to blame themselves and take responsibility for their own situation, it would by definition not be Involuntary.
Well …it is in SHITposting…
- why not just post swastikas then
It's Lemmy Shitpost, is it not?
- again, why not just post swastikas then? if it doesn't mean anything and you don't stand by its message, what's the difference? it's all just white noise on shitpost right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAYcAdUKMts

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://www.piped.video/watch?v=OAYcAdUKMts
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Lol this is hilarious!!!
- That whole movie is an absolute gem

Average mfr with a anime pfp arguing politics on unrelated topics

Ok, listen. A great attitude (what the meme calls 'confidence') will definitely improve your chances. This doesn't detract from the fact that if you were to randomly ask a lot of people out, the vast majority of them would still say no because either they're not looking for a partner or you're not their type. The hard part is accepting that fact and continue trying without getting so emotionally exhausted that you no longer even want to try. Tinder makes this even worse, because it condenses dozens of rejections in a short amount of time, in a context that makes looks far more important than other worthwhile traits of yours.

Of course, having an ugly face, being poor and even having bad genetics will make things harder. But there are plenty of fat, ugly dudes and gals in happy relationships. If you see yourself in the meme, your worst enemy is not knowing how to get out of a pit of hurt and self-doubt, but it's an enemy you can beat.

I'm just imagining this scene in a cartoon and it is kind of funny, if it were drawn literally as is.

Why the duck

Confidence is knowing that she's not The One.

Bottom panel reminds me of Joe mama

Who is Joe mama?
- Deez nuts!
  Gotem

people who unironically post this shit are usually not ugly, just lack self esteem and think self-deprecating humour is funny (usually isn't) and should listen to the advice and probably also learn that being rejected a lot is normal and it don't mean you're ugly to everyone unless you're an actual asshole to everyone.

Basically the contrast was hilarious and it seemed like a good shit post
- Are we sure it's the contrast and not the hot gigachad that made you attracted to this meme?