Just break up already. Creating a tiny extra human is not going to magically fix all of your issues.
... of course that would create a paradox in which I was never born, hence not able to give her that advice ... but seriously, the only reason I exist is because my mother didn't want my dad to leave her, which is simply a shitty reason to become pregnant.
If you want your children to engage in a certain behavior, you have to actively model that behavior. A kid isn't going to do the thing if they never see you doing the thing, no matter how much you call them out on not doing the thing.
Yep, know the pain... dad didn't cheat on mom, but he still didn't teach me anything... about anything really... and now, I'm paying for it in a shitty marriage.
Well, at least I know I won't make the same mistake with my son.
Children’s medications aren’t scams, they have different doses for a reason (the reason is usually risk of overdose).
This will obviously very from med to med, but most stuff over the counter will be exactly the same for adults and children, just with instructions for children to take less.
For example, both children's and adult's liquid acetaminophen (paracetamol) are sold in the US at a strength of 160mg/5mL, and they will both have the same instructions for children under 2, children 2-11, and people 12+
Jumping on the "get a fucking divorce" train and adding "stop buying prepackaged overprocessed food, feed me some damn vegetables, and stop giving me so much goddamn sugar"
I could write a novel here honestly but I'll keep it a bit brief:
Don't ask your toddler which parent they'll go with if you 2 get a divorce. If you don't love your partner you should get a divorce. Joint custody is a thing.
Don't "stay together for the kids" you will only cause them more mental harm in the long run.
Don't make your young children have to be the most mature person in the room. They should be allowed to be a kid.
Be at least somewhat involved in your kids lives, if you're not don't be surprised when they don't choose to involve you in their lives as they get older.
I know you have my life mapped out, because as someone who desperately wants kids, it's impossible not to do that. But don't assume a kid is going to follow that plan. Some kids are gay. You both handled that news really, really well, but for real, why did you have to assume I was straight to begin with? I wish I could have told you when I was 14, but I had to deal with not being the thing you thought I was. As a result, I'm 32 and still don't have kids, because I got a really late start on the whole dating someone thing, and I've still never brought anyone home. It's not your fault, but next go round, try not to box your kids the way you were boxed in.
Also, Mama. Leave his ass. Do not marry him. It doesn't matter how upset Grandmama will be, she'll get over it. Just tell her you love her, and go raise that baby alone.
Don't force your child to play mind games with their other parent or try forcing them to read out loud their entire text message history or explain their entire conversation they had with their other parent.
Don't force them to lie to their other parent but also try and force them to tell you every lie the other parent made.
Don't yell and scream at them or act pouty and manipulative when they say "No".
If you have a problem with your partner take it with then directly, if its not fixable then don't be together. Just please don't use your child to manipulate your partner into depression or anger and force your kid to "choose a side", it'll make them resent you both.
I wouldn't tell them anything. Any changes they made to how I was raised would fundamentally change who and where I am now. While growing up was torture in many ways, it led me here, and I'm really happy with where I am now.
I can't fault my mom for falling apart when my dad died but it did mess us up, she withdrew and was lost and stupid for years after, and never really got her mind all back. I was 16 and got kicked out at 17, the other kids got more years of that. But all of us are ok now, and again, I really can't blame her.
Nothing else really, she wasn't a motherly kind of mom but never felt neglected or like she was not trying her best.
Mom, don't sacrifice your retirement savings to keep our lifestyle the same. It's not more important than struggling so hard in your retirement years. Your kids will get used to living with less, we'll get over any sadness we feel over it, as long as we're together.
Also, you have a bad case of sunk cost fallacy. You're going to lose the house over it.
Dad, if you run away from your kids when it gets tough, they are going to be traumatized, and it will come back to bite you when you're older. Your son especially will want nothing to do with you. Your last years will be lonely enough, don't abandon the only people who will be there for you.
my dad was an immigrant (technically so was I but I was brought here at a young age) and didn't speak the language. so he did manual labor jobs for a long time until he felt confident enough to try his luck at his own business. now he works much less and makes much more.
leave the manual labor for the people who can't do anything else. if you have skills, put them to use
everybody can't be a doctor or lawyer. you need someone to clean toilets, dig holes, and carry cement.
some people don't have the capacity or the willingness to do anything else. i work in the underground construction industry. there are a lot of illegals working digging holes and they're perfectly happy with it. they can't speak english, they can't work a computer, and they don't want to learn.
nothing wrong with it. other people, however, move up quickly. there was a girl we hired fresh off the boat. couldn't speak english and started off essentially digging holes for $1000 a week. she was sharp minded, however, and quickly started helping with the administrative tasks on the job sites. we gave her a raise and a promotion to crew supervisor. we gave her a laptop, she learned english quickly and eventually became a foreman and by the time she left us about 2 years later, she was making nearly 3x her original salary. she updated a lot of the systems we had and created daily reports for our clients. something we weren't doing - she just thought of it and it was a big benefit to us.
she ended up leaving to join someone else starting up their own company. she was able to get a big picture vision of the operation. some people cannot see past their job role
we have people that have been digging holes for us for the better part of a decade. they get paid their wage, they pay their bills, and when they get home they drink their beers and are happy.
it's just the way it is. nothing wrong with it. i think it's rude and demeaning to try and imply these people need to somehow get a better position or move forwards.
all i'm saying is if you're in a position where you can do more, do more. you'll get paid better and work less. and you'll find it's like an upward spiral. the more you do, the more things you'll be given the opportunity to do. then you can leverage that into better opportunities