But if I do pay attention, I’ll just forget it anyway…

My problem is that I get lost in what comes next in the conversation. Like I have to prepare my responses because they don't always come naturally. So asking a name is like a freebie but pretty shortly I'm completely out of bandwidth for remembering the name because it's all going into paying attention to what they're saying and coming up with whatever I say next. Not necessarily consciously either. I've also noticed I tend to remember names better in group conversations where there's definitely less pressure to listen and respond 1:1.