New Trump phone automatically adds users to classified war plan group chats – The Chaser

Hackers are gonna have a blast with these.

Goddammit I ate the onion.

You can tell it’s parody because it describes an actual valuable feature.

Do we have a sad drama mask to equal out that picture of Trump?

🎭

When asked for comment on the new device, US Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth simply responded: “1345: ‘Trigger Based’ F-18 1st Strike Window Starts (Target Terrorist is @ his Known Location so SHOULD BE ON TIME – also, Strike Drones Launch (MQ-9s).”

Shit, now I have to buy it.

“Don’t add me man, I don’t get roped into the next investigation, man”- Trump’s entire staff this morning.

The article is good, but the picture of the obese orange fuckbasket is fantastic.