1w ago

This movie bad

I ended up going to this elderly man’s house which was fairly big and had a nice ocean view because he’s a rich mf. His wife said she was making sushi but she ended up ordering a Benihana alternative which made my gf sad because the only reason we went to their place was because she wanted sushi. Oh well.

I’m still here and the guy just put on Malhação which is some shitty novela from the 90s and my gf looks like she might cry. I think this old man never had any kids so he’s trying to bond with me and throughout the movie he kept looking over for approval at his favorite scenes. He must love this disgusting filth film because he recites the lines really well and it felt like a dual audio situation where Tom cruise and old man were speaking the same lines. I wanted to jump into the ocean and drown.

Such a bad movie I only like Tom cruise in mission impossible 1 and 3 and the rest suck.

Last samurai is about whitey Vietnam vet who tries to train some samurai soldiers how to fight and he ends up dying of disentary at the end of the movie. I think my fate will be the same after eating the Benihana because I don’t feel too good.

We’re still at his house and he want to show me his aged soy sauce collection.

29 comments

I don't think it's that bad. Apparently this movie is looked on kind of fondly in Japan, despite the Hollywood-style historical inaccuracy.
Fun fact: Ken Watanabe's character is based on a historical figure, Saigo Takamori, who led a rebellion against the Meiji government in protest of the dissolution of the Samurai caste. In contrast to the movie, every contemporary depiction and account of Takamori's rebellion makes it clear that his army used modern weapons, and Takamori himself wore a French military uniform. So rather than trying to protect an endangered sacred culture or whatever, he was leading a reactionary insurrection against a land reform program.
- he was leading a reactionary insurrection against a land reform program.
  I want to watch this movie so bad. There's a certain romantic futility to the fuedal landlord class fighting against the rise of industrial capital, but in my ideal movie I would make it clear that everybody involved sucks by centering a former peasant who is abused by the samurai as a young man and then has to get a job in a factory which is somehow worse and then gets drafted into the army and just has a miserable time throughout the entire thing.
- It's been ages since I saw this, but I love Ken Watanabe so I can't hate it too much. The politics and Tom Cruise character (because dumb Amerikkkans won't watch movie about Japan without whitey) is obviously cringe.
- Apparently this movie is looked on kind of fondly in Japan, despite the Hollywood-style historical inaccuracy.
  a lot of the social issue kinda problems with american media don't impact foreign audiences so they aren't harmed the way minoritized people are over here.

What's wild about The Last Samurai is that it's even more popular in Japan than in America. Reason being that it recounts a kind of national myth that a lot of Japanese people want to be true about the honorable Samurai who definitely didn't use guns or own factories or treat their peasants like shit. I would be curious if a remake that accurately portrays the "fuedal landlords versus new money bourgeoisie" nature of the rebellion would do well with anyone beyond weirdo marxists like me.
- You seen Shiguri: Death Frenzy? It's an anime series about a lord who's gone mad and wants to have a tournament where people fight to the death. But that's not really what the series is focused on. Instead, it's the history behind the rivalry between a blind ronin and a one-armed samurai, who have made their way to the tournament with the intention of killing each other. The series shifts into a flashback to their younger days as students before their injuries.
  It's one of the most unapologetic depictions of the samurai I've ever seen or even heard of. The series depicts them as little more than thugs who terrorize peasants while trying to LARP the days of the Sengoku Period.
  Be warned, it's a slow burn and the anime was never finished. The manga has no official translation in English (though it does for a few other languages if you're multilingual). Fan translations exist, but they can be inaccurate or unprofessional/messy (typos, grammar, etc.).

this movie is such a guilty pleasure for me lol
- Yeah me too. It has problems but not nearly as many as Dances With Wolves.
- I loved it when I was a teen

Doesn't the wife of the dude he kills end up loving him instead? Because that's how it works in the bushido code, you kill the husband and the wife is obligated to marry and love you.
- Bullshido mode
- Yeah that's a very uncomfortable subplot of the film.
- She develops an uncomfortable fondness for Algren after her brother (Ken Watanabe's character, Katsumodo) makes her look after him as her nephew (Katsumodo's son) stays at her house. Katsumodo himself lives in the temple. Early on in the film, she asks Katsumodo why he's making her suffer and wants to kill herself. His reasoning is he is hoping Algren will lower his guard around her and tells her she needs to do as she's told (women are property who are passed to the nearest male relative etc. etc. and so on).
  They never kiss or anything. He accidentally comes across her leaving a hotspring and in the final act of the film she helps him put on her husband's armor. She hugs him as he's developed a fondness for her kids, who's father they know he killed.
  Katsumodo is of course exploiting his own family so he can make Algren feel guilty and Algren falls for it. I think Katsumodo's sister understands what her brother is doing, but also understands its incredibly cruel and asking too much from her.

This is one of my friend’s favorite movies. I can’t help liking it even though politically it’s really bad. It’s a white savior movie, pretty similar to Glory, directed by the same guy. at the end when the white guy somehow saves the emperor and the samurai from the emperors’s evil assistant, I can’t help thinking: and then what happened?
- at the end when the white guy somehow saves the emperor and the samurai from the emperors’s evil assistant
  This doesn't happen. The Samurai all die, that's the point. Tom Cruise doesn't save anything.
  The Emperor's role is that he's a puppet of a pro-western faction, but only after the Samurai and his friend Ken Watanabe are defeated does he decide to change course to protect local culture and tradition.
- and then what happened?
  everyone clapped obviously
- It's definitely one of my guilty pleasures. It avoids a lot of common white savior tropes while still managing to fall into a bunch. I think it was helped by having a lot of input from the Japanese cast and crew. A lot of the extras, for example, were people who do medieval reenactments in Japan and showed up in their own armor.

Pointing to this BluRay cover and asking the thetan auditor if converting to Scientology will give me hair like this in my forties.

I thought The Last Samurai was mostly forgettable but I recently watched the Shogun remake and have to admit I was impressed. Stunningly gorgeous cinematography and masterful acting by everyone in the cast. They took pains to reduce the Eurocentricism from the source material, but the protagonist is still a white dude so there is some lingering White Saviorness to it. But he's mostly portrayed as a lovable buffoon and witness to the historical events unfolding around him rather than its impetus. Sanada and Sawai are the real stars here.

We’re still at his house and he want to show me his aged soy sauce collection
what's wrong with that though that's kinda cool, I bet there's a lot of variety of flavor there

Do you sample the bouquet of soy sauce and say "Hmmm yes this is the Kikkoman 87, that was a very good year."
- I sample it and go like this:

post an update when you see the old soy sauce if yous don't die of disentiry
- RIP OP

Well I can't wait for them to make "The Last Samurai: Maverick." Timeline wise that would put them at the first Sino-Japanese war, but the movie will just vaguely refer to China as "a rogue empire."

Such a bad movie I only like Tom cruise in mission impossible 1 and 3 and the rest suck.
?????
when will the mods of my beloved Movies & TV remove this troll review

I only like Tom cruise in mission impossible 1 and 3 and the rest suck.
I've barely seen any of the MI movies but Fallout is shockingly good because Tom Cruise loves putting his life in danger to make awesome action sequences. The stories are all MIC spyslop but his physical performance elevates the experience so much
- I get confused seeing stuff like this because I didn't realize Tom Cruise was in Fallout and keep wondering if he was one of the robots or a dog or a ghoul or something. Then I remember there's a MI: Fallout.

29 comments