2w ago

Can cis dudes have gender goals?

Genuine question, I'm not sure whether it's a trans-only thing or not

If we can, mine are somewhere between Raul Julia's portrayal of Gomez Addams and the dad from Bluey

24 comments

of course they can. gender affirmation is for anyone who feels the desire to achieve their gender presentation. if you have a gender you are attached to and want to represent then doing anything to get to that goal is your right whether you're trans or cis.
- I would argue this extends way beyond gender into every facet of someone's life, achieving one's goals and desires

Danny Devito is my cis male gender goal
- Peak male performance

"Body image" is basically gender goals for cis people. Not saying that in a bad way, but there's a lot of overlap.
- I mean, it's the same concept. It's just people get their panties in a twist when it's AMAB people with feminine goals. Or vice versa.

My gender goal is that we build a society where your gender matters less than your hair colour and that your hair colour is a matter of personal preference.

Why not? Gatekeeping personal stuff is, as a general rule, bad. So you do what you want, and that's awesome <3

Yeah dude. In fact I bet some trans guys would benefit from hearing cis guys talk about it

I legit don't even know what a "gender goal" even is. I barely want to even exist, much less have a desired form of existing.
- I feel this so much. I am but a bunch of electrical signals piloting a meat sack; having to tie social concepts of “gender” on top of it all is an overwhelming amount of extra work I don’t feel like taking on.
  That said, OP, yes anyone can have goals - your body, your life, your joy: pursue it as you see fit.

If I had to pick a person that I would have to imitate to become more manly it would be Diogenes of Sinope.
- Basically a public masturbator, homeless by choice with an ego like a king who tells the mightiest man of his time to „stand out of his sun“.
  The anthropomorphication of „become ungovernable“
- Fantastic choice hahaha

We should all aspire to be as great as Bluey’s dad.

I'm glad I'm not the only one down bad for Morticia Addams the the mom from Bluey

I think it would be absolutely ridiculous if we couldn't.
While I accept that not everyone agrees with this, to my mind the idea that gender is a performance, a presentation, not some hard coded biological fact seems to be an essential part of liberating ourselves from strict roles and enabling trans people to live their true selves fully and without prejudice.
I want to be clear that when I say gender is a performance, that doesn't mean it's fake. Gender is an expression of something deeply integral to who you are. Often something that you could not change without causing yourself severe harm. But the presentation of that integral identity is for you to decide, and that should be true for everyone.
I think every cis person has gender goals, but most of us allow the world around us to define those goals instead of defining them for ourselves. I think that's a part of why cis people act so hateful towards trans people; because a person simply throwing out the handbook and saying "Actually, this is how I want to express myself..." reminds them that they could be doing the same thing if they wanted. I think that's also why crossdressers, trans people, and men who do nothing more radical than wear nail polish often get lumped in together. All of it is violating these supposedly hard coded realities.
So, maybe I'm wrong here, maybe I'm out of line, but I think the world would be better for everyone, cis and trans, if we all recognized that we have gender goals and were comfortable talking openly about them.
Also, Gomez Adams is an absolute gigachad legend. Raul Julia, forever king of my heart.
- based take

As long as you're not hurting anyone you can do everything you want forever. Nobody has the authority to deny you permission for these things and exploring your gender is valid whether cis or trans.