Lucky to End up in a Boarding Home in Oahu

Hi all.

I am in Hawaii and almost ended up in the streets. I went from a mental hospital, to a crisis center, and am lucky I had money for a board and care.

It's really gnarly, today I saw my roommate take a dump because he did not bother to close the bathroom door. My roommates might be the type of people you find on Skid Row, but that's okay because everyone deserves not to suffer.

I am on Oahu. I have been on Social Security for mental illness for 20 years. I am thinking it would be best to try and start my career so I have so much money that being on the streets and in the boarding houses are less possible. However, I suffer from Major Depression and PTSD so I don't know if I should leave the safe enclave of Medicare in a country that doesn't have universal healthcare.

I applied for a local 7-11 and Office Max job. I'm beginning to look at other places to live which are comparable to what I'm currently paying ($750 a month). I feel like I have hit rock bottom and sometimes I just feel like offing myself somehow.

Since it's the weekend and I don't know what to do I have been playing Escape from Tarkov. However, I feel super guilty playing videos games. I did go on LinkedIn and applied for two local jobs though.

So any advice? Am I a major loser who is better off dead? How can I avoid homelessness for the rest of my life? How can I avoid getting so sick I need to go to the mental hospital? Does anyone else have a similar story?