I wonder who

Gil and Marlon, respectively.

I've never played the game but the post popped up on my feed so my opinion is surely the least biased!

It's the goddamn tourists.

I hated Linus for years because the first time I passed out he was the one who "rescued" me.

So this random homeless dude trespassed on my property, B&E'd into my house, and robbed me.

There's literally a cave under the town filled with monsters. It could be monsters in both instances.

Though, Harvey's probably the one stealing your money when you wake up after passing out.