4d ago

I feel like a moron

This guy basically lead me on, was very flirty and then said we should grab a bite to eat sometime and ghosted me.

We didn't have sex or anything. But I still feel like such a moron.

Like I was looking forward to it.... idk why does everyone hate me

Also when he asked me what I do for a living I told him I haven't been working and just focusing on taking a driving exam and he seemed extremely like.. disappointed by that

And I told him I worked accounting before and he also seemed super unimpressed by it

Idk wtf he expects from me like do I need to be an entrepreneur or rocket scientist to be interesting?

And also like in general I felt like he kept firing off conversation topics really fast as though he got bored quickly or something

I guess he's the type that needs to have very engaging and witty conversation the whole time and can't just enjoy the moment for two seconds

Either way I just feel super pissed off and embarrassed. Also, I feel insecure. I don't have many friends here but honestly after the experiences I've had I'm scared to go out and meet people again.

Not to mention my ex was abusive af and made sure to end things on a super bad note and tell me what a joke I am and how no one will ever put up with me for as long as he did and be as generous as he was (monetarily) and like I don't even know why he said that cause he's the one that broke up with me, it's like he just wanted to stomp me when I'm down

7 comments

Try not to take it personally, dating is often a real grind. It takes time to find someone that you just vibe with. Someone who is interested won't be "meh" about your life, so try not to get attached to anyone who gives you "meh"

I don't know you but I'm certain everyone doesn't hate you. This guy probably doesn't hate you.
It's okay to feel bad about rejection. But there are other people. Sit with your feelings for a bit if it helps, but then dust yourself off. It's going to be okay. If this guy wasn't interested in you as you are, it wasn't going to be a good match anyway.
Like, I have the standard set of nerd hobbies (books, video games, etc) and sometimes I go on a date and discover the other person thinks that's gross. "Waste of time" someone said to me recently. Feels bad. But then I go on another date and the persons eyes light up as they tell me about their Path of Exile build. There's all sorts of people. Don't worry too much if any particular person doesn't click with you.
I'm kind of assuming from the text that you're young. That means lots more runway, and also your peers are probably on average inexperienced messy people. Dating and relationships are skills that improve with practice.
- "Waste of time" someone said to me recently.
  "Time enjoyed while being wasted, was not wasted. This conversation, I do not enjoy and it feels like a huge waste of time to spend another minute with a person like you so....bye!"

I knew a few friends with similar problems. The phenomenon even has a name, it's "hesidating". So you're not alone at least. https://www.myimperfectlife.com/news/hesidating-dating-trend

A long time ago, I went out on a date with this woman that I knew. She was attractive and a very nice person. We had a fun date. And then, I never called her again.
I eventually regretted that, although it took me a few years to get there. I didn't think about her feelings being hurt at the time. It wasn't about her at all. The problem was that I didn't like myself very much at that point in my life and I couldn't imagine any reason why she would like me either.
That was a ridiculous notion considering she agreed to go out with me to begin with so she must have liked something about me. But, in the moment, my insecurities won out over logic. By the time I figured that out, it was too late for an apology.
I'm telling you this because the truth is you have no idea why that guy ghosted you. I know it sucks and it feels shitty but there's a very good chance it had nothing to do with you at all. Regardless of the reason, you didn't want any part of that so he did you a favor. Even if it was done in a shitty way.

You dodged a bullet. Ghosting demonstrates emotional irresponsibility.

Like I was looking forward to it.... idk why does everyone hate me
You talk like you're very, very young.
Don't work, other fish in the sea for you! Plenty of time left in life to experience more love and heartbreak. It's rough when it happens but it makes you grow as a person.
Take care!

7 comments