Since America's namesake Amerigo Vespucci was an immigrant, what should the United States of America be renamed to? (no wrong answers)
Stolidus
Whatever the natives decide on tbh. Turtle island is popular but applies to the continent not the country
Clown Country
Serious answer: the Viking settlers named the land "Vinland" long before Columbus was even born. That name is of Germanic origin, same as the English language, and would be appropriate for settlers of Germanic origin (England, Germany, etc.)
Alternatively, a name in the Native American language would be most appropriate given that they were the original inhabitants of the land.
A name in the Native American language
There is no single native American language. There are over 200 of them, and used to be around 300-400, in 57 different families and over two dozen completely isolated languages (which might not be, but it's hard to find out). And they'd likely be at the very least somewhat mutually culturally insensitive.
So that might be even more difficult than using English, which at least has the benefit of being popular now.
"OKLAHOMA", but in all caps because it's big now.
Listen. I know you said no wrong answers but unfortunately due to the past few decades of the American Political system, pretty much anything is now effectively accurate. Even such things as:
Bonerland
Brawndoland
united states of fuck you, i got mine.
South Canada
Turtle Island
Hey now, I'm feeling attacked!
To the top with you
Shitstain
Given the religious fervor throughout its history, how about naming it after an ancient biblical region?
Transjordan?
Wait. Shit, that won't work, even Jordan's gone woke. Maybe something else in the region?
OH! How about Gilead!?
Except Transjordan isn't biblical. It's the region of Palestine that became The Kingdom of Jordan. As opposed to Cisjordan, which is the region that became Israel and the present Palestine.
But I don't think we're allowed to say cis anymore. /s
Except Transjordan isn’t biblical
I know, but when I Googled to confirm the name of the country in Handmaid's Tale, I noticed the real Gilead was in Transjordan, saw a joke opportunity sitting there, and that was the smoothest I could work it in. I'm open to workshopping it.
"All hail the ing of ing! The land without a KKKing!"
Greenland... ing
Japaning
Australiaing
Taiwaning
Uniteding Kingingdoming
Congoing
...and Chinaahhuh... ...was once a great, uhh, eM, -ing but they lost their way to our holey grate ing-dumb...
"ing out"
"Now gather all ing suffixes and affixes to kiss the holy kock ring. Don't be shyyy."
Trade names with the Gulf and become the United States of Mexico.
A not-insignificant amount of the USA was Mexico, at one time.
There's nothing united about it, other than maybe hatred towards minorities
New New Mexico and Old New Mexico
United States of Lee (after General Robert Lee)
New motto
All For Me and None For Thee
Hey now - why go with Lee when you could go with Forrest and celebrate the first leader of the KKK.
Also, much better statutes.
Never fight uphill, me boys!
Dumbfuckistan
Donald Trump’s Best, Biggest Country in the World, the Biggest, Juiciest Country there is, you know it, folks, No Illegals Allowed, No Fentanyl, All the Guns! And Covfefe!
Annual bidding by major corporations for the opportunity to rename the country each year, stadium style.
Let's go United States of Waste Management
American States of Maga
And yes, it is infinitely recursive.
The birth place of Jesus
That's so Utah.
Divided States of Affairs
Just revert to using the old name: Vinland.
Vespucciland
George Soros' United Commune of Mexifornia
The only correct answer.
After Hispaniola they made a brief slave raid in the Bahamas, capturing 232 Lucayans, and then returned to Spain.[34] src
i think the cult would call him 'one of the good ones'
Returned to Spain? Traitor!
“Yucatán”
Which means “the end of your finger” because the Spanish asked some folks what they were pointing at and they didn’t understand the question
Trumpland. Trumptopia. United states of Trump. Trumplvania. The new republic of Trump.
Just testing the "no wrong answers"
You missed Trumpistan
United States of America (temporary). America as a country isn't making it much longer anyway so no need to think about it too much.
Hmm, idiocracy fits I guess. Seems to describe our country well enough.
Columbo. Marybe Columbo's wife.
Slaves-R-Us
Hell.
United States
There's actually debate over whether America was actually named after Amerigo Vespucci. My understanding is that it was likely just a coincidence that his name is so similar to America. As I understand it, it was actually named after a tribe of native Americans. But native Americans don't pass the Republican scale of whiteness, so they'll probably try to rename America anyways. I'm calling it now: they're going to rename it to Trumpia
