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Is it too late to develop a social life in your mid 20s if you never had one prior?

I never had a social life, either romantic or Platonic, and I'm wondering if anyone else has gone from 0 social life to an active one past college. Like I wasted college just going to classes and I graduated already. Thoughts?

35 comments
  • No, not at all! As you grow older, it may not be as automatic as when you are in school. Many of the people that you interact with might be focused on their own stuff (work, partner, family, hobbies, finance) and not too motivated to expand or even have a "social life" in whatever free time they have (if they even do). But this is not everyone. There is still a lot of people at every age that do want a social life, you just need to put in a bit of effort to connect with them.

    And, a tip, do not consider failed attempts at socializing as a "failure" on your side. Perceived rejection often boils down to people being very attached to their free time, and socializing not being on their list of priorities. If you keep this in mind then you do not need to feel discomfort from rejection, and you can be active in your search for like-minded people without worry.

  • Dude, it's literally never too late. x3

    There's old people fuck-a-thons in retirement homes for heaven's sake, lol. And those people are almost a century old.

    Get on meetup.com if you aren't sure what's out there, but there's all sorts of fun stuff going on! Meetup is platonic.

  • You start a social life many times on your life. The people around you will change many times, and your relationships will change as well.

    Don't feel pushed to start a social life.

    Also, it's a skill you will take time thlo learn and make lots of mistakes, don't worry, it's normal.

    And don't look for others approval in general, ota just wrong, but perfectly normal to look for. Still wrong

    • I feel like the most important thing to take away here is to not feel pushed to have a social life. One city I lived in I had one friend I really considered a friend and the rest were mostly in the background (though fun to hang out with time to time).

      For me a social life is enough if I find a single person who is capable of listening and rolls with bouncing ideas off each other.

      May or may not apply to OP but zero social life sounds like they're an introvert.

  • Of course it's not too late, it only appears harder because in school we spent a lot of time during the week with many people the same age. But only a fraction of that time is needed, all it takes is being around people and talking to people.

    Many on lemmy rightly complain of the lack of "third spaces" nowadays in many of the richer countries (you said college I'm guessing US or UK?), so for example in many places it'd be a bit weird to just go to the pub alone. But you can also just go alone and do and enjoy whatever you want, it just takes a bit more confidence, the embarassment of it usually wears off with age for most.

    What's probably easier is joining some semi-regular activity where you get to chat. So pub quiz night, language exchange, chess club, hiking group, etc... are more likely to aid you in this compared to loud night clubs, the gym, or whatever, it's all subjective it's still important to do the stuff you enjoy, regardless of socializing.

  • Congrats on graduating! And to answer your question: no, it's not too late. However, fair warning: it does seem to get harder to develop a social life the older you get. But by no means impossible.

  • Of course you can, it just requires more work. Find a group of like-minded people by joining a evening class; group training; volunteer at an event; etc..

    It requires a lot of effort, but it'll be worth it in the end.

  • It's totally possible to build a new network of great friends at literally any point in your life! I have moved multiple times over the years to entirely different regions where I knew zero people and I have always eventually found new friends. (I'm also autistic and introverted, so if I can do it, most people probably can.)

    Sometimes it might take a while to find the activities you like, and thus the people who share your interests, but they're out there! If nothing else, it helps to start going on a regular basis to a local bar that hosts live music and just nurse a drink (even a soda if you're sober) and hang out, you'll start sussing out the social fabric in the area pretty quick.

    Good luck, you can do it!

35 comments