Our Big Wet Boy Wants a Big Wet 51st State

Me in CKII
Donnie
Incoherent map-painting at every opportunity
- Same religion, same culture group, both under the North American Empire level title, - this is way more coherent than my usual CK2 shenanigans - where I end up with Ireland, Morocco and Perm or some similar disjointed nonsense for no good reason.
  
  At least two non contiguous Perms.

Sound like a great deal. Canada as a single state could completely shake up the electoral status quo, as they would be basically taking a single rep from just about every state, and we would have a new California that gives something like 50 electoral votes to a single new state with a population and GDP similar to California.
Though once the GOP maths it out, either they'll increase how many states Canada is broken into, Gerrymander it, to give conservative victories for the next two generations at least. Tons of states with a population of like 2 conservative men who all get three electoral votes per state. While Vancouver is going to have like six votes for a population of 1 million people.
- or they could just not give canadians voting rights
  
  Sounds like an awesome idea, ngl. Absolutely Acceleration Pilled.
  
  Puerto Rico of the North
- In my future fiction project, Canada was parted into six states and three territories. The differences from the current ten provinces were
  British Columbia renamed to just Columbia (having "British" in the name is unpatriotic)
  Saskatchewan split exactly 50-50 between Alberta and Manitoba
  State of Atlantica formed out of the Atlantic provinces (Newfoundland & Labrador, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island)
  At the same time, the following changes were made to the Lower 48:
  North Texas, South Texas, East Texas, West Texas split from Texas (see Texas divisionism)
  State of Lincoln formed from Eastern Washington and the Idaho panhandle
  State of Jefferson formed from Northern California and Southern Oregon
  Eastern Oregon ceded to Idaho (see Greater Idaho)
  As a whole, 12 new states were formed in connection with the annexation of Canada, 6 north and 6 south of the old border. Thus the Lower 48 came to be known as the Lower 54. This strategy of matching the newly annexed states with carving new states from preexisting ones was favored since it couldn't easily be predicted how many conservative Canadians actually would vote GOP, thus splitting off regions already known to consistently vote Republican would, worst case scenario, keep the balance between Republicans and Democrats, and best case scenario give Republicans the electoral upper hand.
  
  Saskatchewan split exactly 50-50 between Alberta and Manitoba
  Is this like that King Solomon fable where the province that isn't willing to kill the dozen people there gets them?

Going to war with Canada seems like the fucking most wild thing he could do. It's a nation of mostly white, mostly English speaking people right next door to us. I don't think you can manufacture consent for a war against people so culturally similar to you they're basically indistinguishable. I mean fuck how many families in both countries have mixed US/Canadian citizenship? I don't think even the biggest Minnesota CHUD is suddenly going to support invading his Alberta wife's home county.
- What's his wife doing coming all the way from Alberta to Minnesota? She should stick to Montana like the rest of em.
  
  Idk where anything in Canada is. I just know there's a bunch of moose up there.
  
  She was too ashamed to admit she is actually from Saskatchewan.
- The propaganda will be less "war" and more "Anschluss". It will be paternalistic in nature and posture republicans as safeguarding "Canadian culture" from mass migration and chynah. It can be done.
- Trump doesn’t want Canada to actually be a 51st state. He is just running cover for the incoming Canadian government to destroy what’s left of their single payer healthcare and anything else slightly good about the place
- I don't think you can manufacture consent for a war against people so culturally similar to you they're basically indistinguishable.
  That's what everyone thought about a potential Russian invasion of Ukraine a long time ago. Turns out a dictator just does things.
  
  Well,like the Ukrainians,the Canadians have a shitload of nazis too,many of them Ukrainian ironically enough
  Problem is,the US can't draw on its historical memory of killing nazis like the remnants of the greatest fascist killing machine,the Soviet Union,can
  
  I think the long history of animosity between Russia and Ukraine makes things a little different there.

You know, in my future fiction project, the annexation of Canada into the USA was going to be a careful, gradual and deliberate process over the course of many years... But I guess I was forgetting that the USA's political system isn't exactly built to encourage that type of long-term thinking, and this type of crude, kneejerk, ill-conceived attempt at coersion was really the whole time the muuuuch more likely route the USA would take if it were to try to annex Canada.
- We are in an insane timeline. Trump could...
  Invade and grab Greenland
  Invade and grab the Panama Canal
  Have troops (or the DEA or whatever) violate Mexico's sovereignty, cross the border, and target "the cartel assets" and due to incredibly imbecilic fuck ups - they destroy random villages and slaughter innocent people.
  [When it comes to Canada - I don't know what's plausible]
  And we are only on the 14th day of Trump's presidency. If Netanyahu figures out the right things to say to Trump - the US could end up going to war with Iran because Trump is a delusional moron with little connection to reality.
  
  It obviously would all be really bad, but you have to admit Trump knows how to give us a good new season of the USA. (Take notes, Biden)
- Sorry, I'd rather not to be called "dude".

Is this just hot air to distract us while his cronies shock doctrine the US public sector?
- Seems so. And it's shocking that the media, libs the dems are so easy to distract. Here are some threads I started today...
  Treasury Secretary Bessent, tapped to run CFPB (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau) - orders staff to halt work.
  Republicans move to repeal lead limits imposed by Biden-era rules. US government would be prohibited from ever mandating lead pipe replacement or lowering lead limits in water.
  EPA Tells More Than 1,000 They Could Be Fired "immediately". An EPA spokeswoman said the goal was to create an "effective and efficient" federal work force.
  I really hate to say it but Steve Bannon was 100% right. Flooding the zone with shit works like a charm.
  
  Republicans move to repeal lead limits imposed by Biden-era rules. US government would be prohibited from ever mandating lead pipe replacement or lowering lead limits in water.
  This is just so...pointlessly evil. What is even the point of doing this beyond trying to make people suffer?

I wish whenever anyone talked about absorbing a country into the USA they had already gamed out how many extra states that added eg 10 for Canada, 6 Australia, 2 New Zealand, Greenland as territory not state etc. Like I don't want these to happen but I want some homework done.

You know, in my future fiction project, Americans find out that Canadians actually know how guns work, and they find it out the hard way.
We've got so many gun clips for our assault rifle fifteens, you have no idea how powerful we are!