3w ago

So why did we stop worshiping the sun?

This is what is wrong with modern society. I take a train downtown and no inner city kid is worshiping the sun. Our leaders no longer cut out the hearts of their enemies as tribute.

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A good solar flare/EMP or six ought to do it. Right back to the stone ages
- If that helps curb the chance of nuclear apocalypse I'd take solar flare stone age apocalypse. Would still suck, but in a different way.

Since this is shitpost
- This guy gets it!

Yeah it's like, dude? The Sun is real.
- We really could use a little George Carlin right about now... And Joe Pesci, just to be safe.
  
  Damn dude, you made me think Joe Pesci was dead. Still kicking at 81 years of age.

What do you mean? We've begun the greatest construction of sun obelisks in the history of humankind? There everywhere, people come knocking on your door wanting to mount them on your roof for free.
- Even though it gives us cancer! ( The sun not the panels).

God's existence: No physical proof
Sun's existence: Just look up
this is why y'all should praise the sun
- Instructions unclear, now blind because I didn't have a "look away from sun" step to follow.

We never stopped.
T]/

praise the sun
- If only I could be so grossly incandescent

Our leaders no longer cut out the hearts of their enemies as tribute.
Ok, on it!

Is it still the sun or merely a flaming ball of gas illuminating the world?
- It's not gas, you silly fuck, it's a miasma of incandescent plasma 🎶.
  
  I say it's a miasma of incandescent plasma of peace, you chowderhead (ง'̀-'́)ง
- YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?
- flaming ball of gas illuminating the world?
  Back in my day we called the sun "the sun". You ding dang 40 year old millennial kids and your darn pronouns!!!!
  What's next, Pluto not being a planet?
  /$
- It only stops being magical if you let cynicism win.

Without the sun we'd all be dead. I also hate cold weather & feel so much better with some sunshine. I'm surprised we don't have more people that pray & give thanks to the sun.
- Because people like me are praying for cold rainy weather and I think there's more of us.
  
  Heretic! Get him!

See this is part of why I'm an atheist. I refuse to believe any God exists that's dumber than Gary Gygax.

Because it would make sense and religion isn't about that.

Shuddup Sun! The world does not revolve around you!

Because melanoma
- If the sun accepted your prayer as worthy you would be spared.

Has the sun tried threatening potential converts?
Works gangbusters for for the most popular religions.
Hell, they usually steal the sun's defining characteristic to threaten followers with: 🔥🔥🔥.
- Love me some Sunshine!

We wouldn’t exist without the sun. It provides the energy we need to grow our food, and even to power our technology. Its existence is blatantly obvious. It answers prayers at about the same 50% rate as any other god. Just looking directly at the thing can harm you.
If I had to worship something, it’s certainly a very practical option.
- The sun forced me to pay rent!

Probably burning us all to death.

i have been to stone henge for the winter solstice
i did my part

Another one of these, but maybe bigger, would probably do the trick.

\o/ praise the sun \o/

46 comments