4w ago

Choosing pink is chaotic evil?

183 comments

Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.
- Yeah. I got the magenta one years ago. I've been making Trump drop a fucking load on camera for awhile now.
  
  Can you make people poop so much they die? Asking for a friend
- just Elon? What about Nigel Farage? pls?
- Doing god’s work.
  
  No gods or kings. Only poop.
- You're nicer than I am. 24/7 if it were up to me.

Gold made me think of this forgotten greentext.
- What? Where I live pissing directly into watter is like the opposite. As my roommate once said: "Didn't your father taught you how to piss or what?"
  
  Real men piss the shitstains off the bowl without making a mess.
  
  You read the greentext. Your roommate probably just didn't want to be horny anymore.

Pink, you can control any situation with that.
You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say "Poop", they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them... Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it's you doing this.
You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who's gonna believe him?
- He tries to run, but you slow-walk towards him, chanting "poop!" with every step. His pants are heavy, and blood starts to show through his jeans. "I'll cut your guts out!" he helplessly bluffs. Soon, he crumples up and screams as his guts start emptying into the street; his denim is no longer able to hold the carnage. You see him lying dead at your feet.
  You turn back towards the United Healthcare headquarters, and resume your march.
  Now, it is finally time to see at what point explosive diarrhea is covered...
- What I want to know is, do I have control over consistency, force, and quantity? Is there a limit to the range for this power? Do I need line of sight or is it more of a "Death Note" thing? Can I cause defecation syncope? Can I make someone poop themself to death?
  
  So far it seems to be whatever they have going on already, you can modify force tho, but that has risks of its own... It seems that as long as I have some form of live visual of the person it works.
  
  What happens when the tank is empty?

Why would anyone choose anything but the magenta one?
- I cast Power Word: "SHIT YOURSELF"
- Because you have the soul of a puppy and you can’t imagine harming another?
  
  Screw that! I wanna make boom boom in others pants!
- I'd take blue maybe, I could use a friend 🥲
  
  We'll all be your friend here. We just have to avoid all things that could potentially cause strife, because we are on the .world server, after all. No real discussions, no delving into topics that unnerve cowardly mods. Everything is surface level and calm, just like any casual... friendship... without feeling....
  You took the blue pill already, didn't you?
- If blue is not already the case (I would question how they became your crush) that seems like a good option. Otherwise pink is the only useful one.

The older you get the more your going to want that poop command to use on yourself.
- Sorry, it's kinda like a presidential pardon.
  
  shit

Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.
I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.
I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.
Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can't express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you're now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.
- I would immediately try to weaponize it. Spend a weekend making putin telepathically shit his brains out without pause should probably be enough to make him die from the sheer loss of matter and nutrients.
  
  Death note but not cool
  
  Putin, Musk, and Trump would wholly comprise my Shit List.
- Okay, but at all times there is a mass of constipated people surrounding you, lining up in a queue in front of your home, begging you to relieve them! And obvioysly many havent really thought about where to go about it if you help them...

- I hope you're on your very own watch list :S

Who tf is choosing anything but pink?!?
- I mean the weed gummy isn't that bad
  But of the rest, pink is the only one that does anything fun. And it could technically be useful. If you need to distract someone during a heist, for an example.
  
  Also you'd be immune to constipation.
  
  Yeahh I already have the blue pill. I mean I'd like to try weed some time but with some friends too. And it's not like it's super expensive, so that's always an option. Pissing loud is useless, and making shitheads get shit pants actually sounds fun, so that's what I'd go with.
- You’re a beta pisser
  
  Maybe I already piss so loud I don't need it 😏

Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn't return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you're getting the poopy pants.
I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.
- Poop Note
- The Poo-nisher. 💀💩

Jeez. All you mean people.
I'd take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.
- Why not both? Help the constipated AND make the world's worst people shit themselves on live TV...
  
  I'm just saying, no one's talking about how you could help people with this too.
- There's not a few people you'd want to shit themselves to death? Not even Putin?
  
  So it's like having a Death Note but the only method of death is shitting themselves? I'm down.
  
  Do I want to commit murder? No.
- That's the best answer.

I would take the pink one, then find my least favourite people and make the infinite poop copypasta into reality...
- I’d just tweet “poop” at Muskrat and Donald 24/7
  
  You can do that rn if you wanted to.

Pink would be politically beneficial. You could legitimately make major progress in the world with that power. Someone who disagrees with you tries to speak publicly? Time to poop. Hell. Just harass them with explosive diarrhea until they notice the trend that whenever they do something political, the diarrhea returns.
- They'll just take a page from the Trump playbook and start wearing diapers.
  
  All diapers have their limit

Do they have to have poop in them or does it spawn some inside them? That's necessary information.
- Spawns inside of them. Makes them shit even more and harder tbh
- I think it would be just enough to go for those massive diarrhea spasms where you no longer even have anything to expulse but your body keeps pushing. Although I guess it would be cooler to have a Tarantino level spray, choco edition.
- Our intestines are so long we always have poop in us.

Imagine being surrounded by cops and just saying "get sharted!" And running away while the cops cry and moan in excremental pain
The Sharter strike again

- Solid

Choose One?
That question mark ❓ suggests the option I could take them all instead if I wanted...
- I'd take all but the blue one. Once my powers become known, my crush would love me! Together we'd run my campaign for mayor. I'd win on the promise that the browns will win the superbowl. Yes, I'm making a fecies joke about the BROWNS wining the SUPERBOWL.
  I just gotta make the other team shit their pants at the right times.

I mean, it’s not even a contest
- I’d choose yellow as well. I imagine sound will reach like 90 dB!

Force people to poop on command - I'd have xin jinping on speed dial
- I would give this pill to a million Chinese and Russian dissidents.
  Xi and Putin would just be constantly shitting. There would be no moment in any day for as long as they lived that they weren't shitting.
  
  Each billionaire poops every 30 minutes. No rest for the wicked. Can be cured by donating the fortune to some common causes.

I like that it's "Forced". If it was just "make people shit themselves", it would just happen and then they'd wonder what's going on But Forced implies they're fighting it, it implies resistance. That's kinda messed up.
- Well, I just made up my mind.
- I hope you have to point at the person for it to work, so they know it's you.
  
  I was just assuming it was just Power Word: Shit and would effect anyone up to however many hit dice.

It's only chaotic evil if you use it as such.
Could work as a televangelist for constipated people.
- Teledoctor*, unless you're planning to only use it on people if they convert to your religion.
  
  May the spirit of the lord cleanse thy bowls. Hallelujah hallelujah!!!

the pink one, thenbevery oligarch will never stop shitting.
- If it's "only on command" too it can also be very good against oligarchs
  
  yeah, never shit again would also be useful.

Allow me to introduce my little friend:

My Super-name would have to be Shitstorm

Definitely pink, I would be the most powerful man on Earth.

People with chronic constipation constantly bothering the guy who took the pink pill.
- old neighbor recently had surgery because his poop reached his throat
  
  He should have gone into politics instead
  
  Well, what else did he expect to happen when eating shit?
  
  Oh sure, "his" poop

I will just make every single human on earth poop every day at exactly 14:56 UCT
I wouldn't say anything, and just enjoy seeing how people tries to figure out what's going on. And maybe how a new religion is born of such a miracle.
- That would destroy most places sewage systems lol

magenta be like "IM GONNA SHIT YOUR PANTS"

How does that work... spoken command? Is there a cool down on you/the victim? Can it be recorded/broadcasted? Does it has to be consciously be heard and understood or is it like the brown Note from Southpark?
Based on this, that power varies from nice/annoying trick to weapon of mass defecation.
- I reckon it works like a power word.

It's only Chaotic if you use it carelessly, OP, rather than to build your Lawful Evil Empire of Poop.

I already have all these powers... Maaaaan...
- Are you the person who keeps materialising in my home and screaming "DEFECATE" then disappearing in a puff of fart-cloud?
  I've had a leg injury lately and I can't make it to my upstairs bathroom that fast. You have destroyed my stair carpet. The cleaner said it was "unsalvageable" and "honestly shameful". You need to stop.

You could probably use that power to kill someone. Pooped to death.
- That's called dysentery.

Green'll do just fine, thanks
- But imagine all the weed gummies you could pilfer if you could threaten people at pink-pill-point.

"I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers, But nothin' compares to these blue and yellow purple pills."

Pink!
Never have an unexpected poop by scheduling them!
- You could just drink water. Eat late. Drink coffee in the morning. ~~Start smoking.~~
  Shit easy every morning.

Pink is the only good one there, especially since I don't need yellow

Is there a range limit on magenta? Do they have to be in my presence, just able to hear my voice, actively be paying attention? These are important factors!
- It functions the same way as the Death Note. Let's call it the Brown Note.
  
  That means I could give trumpet violent diarrhea in middle of his inauguration? I like that.

I have a debilitatingly shy bladder in public washrooms, and I don't know if pissing loud as fuck would be boon or a curse.

Pink would come in clutch if you’re a doctor on a surgical ward.

Is the poop something that has to be done in-person?
Does it have to be assigned to an individual, or can you decide that everybody who uses the word 'rizz' regularly will now poop?
Or is it like Death Note where you have to have a specific person in mind? I would totally be down to be the Kira of pants-shitting. I'd be the God of a stinky new world.
Problem is that in the US I'm fairly certain our leaders are already forced to wear diapers. The President who was elected 32 years ago is younger than the President who was elected 2 months ago.
- To be fair, the president elected two months ago is the oldest asshole to have ever won the office.
  
  The last 3 elections were the oldest ever

Bobbity bibbity - your pants are now full of shittery

I have IBS and I do wish it on my worst enemies. Gimme that pink pill.

If take the purple pill, can I do that to anyone anywhere on Earth? Or just people nearby? Anywhere on earth, the purple. Just nearby, toss up between purple and a weed gummy. Do I know the strength of the weed gummy?
- Even if its nearby... I'd visit every trump rally out there.

Pink one definetely, the green, yellow and especially blue are useless.

Pink please....

I'm gonna be the world's loudest pisser!

The pink pill is so silly yet can be so useful.

Having your crush as your legitimate wingman is a fucking superpower beyond all superpowers.
So I would clearly take the pink pill if necking them all at once isn't an option.

What if I already have the blue pill power? Does it cancel out in some sort of strange overdose condition?

I'd take yellow because nothing would change
- So take green then maybe?
  
  Nah, I don't like weed or any of the other options

My first instinct was pink, but on second thought blue. There is no saying that because the pill makes them my friend that it couldn't ever change. If not, I could always use more hot friends who could hook me up with their hot friends.
- Man crush on Keanu or Cavill and have them be your friend. That could be great.
  You'd have to choose your celebrity crush with care.

I've got a shy bladder, a wife, and plenty of weed gummys.
I'll take the purple pill. Took forever to potty train my youngest and that seems like a useful skill.
I'd probably use it whenever I get road rage. Oh, you wanna cut me off? Fuck you. Shit your pants.

PowerRanger colors explained.
- The green ranger was pretty dope, so this fits.

Jokes on you, I'm aromantic!
I choose the weed gummy

183 comments