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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

2mo ago

Time is an unstoppable force

110 comments

Holy shit, I've accidentally stumbled upon a cure for aging. I was born in 1984, yet I'm somehow only 40 years old.
- Or maybe everyone from 1998 stumbled upon the exact opposite.
  
  Like that dyslexic fucker who wrote 1984 in 1948 I imagine.
  Edit: it's not even a good joke, apparently it was 1949.. then again it wasnt funny if accurate either, oh well
  
  Yeah, or not
- I mean it's technically not wrong. I'm 46 was born in 98, also in 88, and 78 as well.
  
  I'm 46 was born in 98, also in 88, and 78 as well.
  Born again Christian who wasn't quite done sinning after the first reset? 😛
- And what was the name of your first pet?
  
  The same as my mother's maiden name, hunter2
- The cure was basic math

- If you invite it in, you're powerless against it.
- Sinks must follow the same rules as vampires.
  
  Each time you cut yourself while shaving or your teeth bleed for some reason, those bastards get more powerful.
  You had been warned
- I refuse to
- Let that sink in.
- Lovely but why does this seem to be happening in Bristol

Born in 1985. 'bout to turn 100 in a couple months.
- Born in '78, basically immortal
  
  Bullshit, the last person from the before-fore times died off millennia ago.
  
  I'm with you 'brother', albeit one year behind. Let us tell tales of effective protest and civilian action!
- I just turned 100 last month, it's fuckin awesome, I can fly now, only like for a mile, but everything I need is within a mile radius, so I'm saving Soo much on fuel and parking.
  
  Everything you need is within a mile? Please accept me as your roommate. It takes me 20 minutes just to drive to the store, then 20 minutes to get home. I want a city.
  Sorry I got stuck on the wrong part of that fantasy ;) I would also like to go flying.

You younglings won't understand, but after about age 35, your brain filters out calendar math and you won't notice the meme is wrong.
- There was a article where the journalist asked a dozen people how old they felt, versus their actual age.
  And every single person said they felt in their heads, 10-20 years younger. Like, a 54yo said they felt more like they were 35yo.
  I'm hitting forty and I feel like I just understood what life is about, something I should have felt in my mid20s.
  
  I feel 10 years older, so obviously I'm doing something.
- I could tell if someone was under 18/21 up until I was 30. At 32 everyone under 22 looks so young to me now. At 35, I forgot I wasnt 32

This meme is from the future!
- Assuming we make it that far
  
  Huge assumption

1990 kid here, im so old i died yesterday
- Same, but I'm feeling better today
- I'd tell you what happened in 89 but I can't remember. Something about tearing down walls to make the western world a more cohesive friendly place

1990 gang calling in, I’ll be 65 this January
- Also 1990 gang, I'll be 78 this February
  
  1973 gang. I have dementia now so I don't even know how old I am. Someone tells me I am 207 but it doesn't seem right.

- We've retired the joke:
  Can you imagine sending that one perpetual intern who's so tired of your shit to Home Depot to buy the cheapest sink for your lame joke as the world's richest man starved for attention?
  
  didn't even have context that made it make sense. he just used it in context of moving in... but the double entendre means nothing without the second, uh, entendre. anyway he's so fucking lame, stupid and unfunny is what I'm saying
  
  look at a picture of him today vs then, He looks like he gained 25 years
  
  Is this called a sink in the US? I thought the kitchen sink and the bathroom basin are the correct names, but might be UK specific...
- it's me sink.

One day this meme will be true.
- In 2043 to be exact.
  @remindme@mstdn.social 19 years
  
  Ugh math get out of here it's a weekend
  
  @TheImpressiveX Ok, I will remind you on Tuesday Dec 22, 2043 at 9:21 AM PST.

Are the years metric?

look at my steam account, i'll be 125 yrs old on 1/1/25
- Congratulations!

Um. I was born in 1984 and I just turned 40 this year, thank you.
- Good thing you got in ahead of 1998 then!

I guess this is one of those memes that age like fine wine?
- More like a broken clock: correct eventually for a short time.
- Then start turning rancid the next year
- We will see but chances are

Might take a few decades to properly sink in tho.

Clearly written by an LLM. Math is hard.

Math is hard
- It doesn't get easier once ya turn 100, sonny, let me tell ya.

I'm born in 1975.
I'm fucking sunk. :)
I'm having a 50 year old crisis, wants to stop working, wants to travel, wants to have a new life. The entire kit. It's fun. Really. :)
- The worst part is knowing you can't afford to and yet being forced to watch your elderly parents/friends who might be able afford to but can't because of their health and/or the need to save their money for assisted living (which gets more and more expensive each year).
  I'm not suicidal, but as I watch my parents age I think I will be. I have known several recently deceased who were miserable for the last couple of years of their lives. People who if they had been pets, we would have euthanized. It's sobering and depressing.
- Same

Only 1900s kids would understand.

this will become true in just a couple of years from now, assuming you represent age as a base-six number. (4*6+5 == 2027-1998)
- Bullshit I will be 45 next year and was born 1980. Whoever did the math is not doing it right.
  
  (if you were, you'd be 113 next year.)

I believe this, but mostly because I was born yesterday.

One day this will be true
- Not if they will die before then...

Well I'm balding like one at least.

That math doesn't math. I'm just the right kind of old to know, no coffee required.

I'm 145 years old. Where are my bald gang at?

Oh shit! I was born in 1979. How old does that make me?
- Google it bro
  
  Ain't nobody got time for that gonna ask AI
- 64
  
  I think you did the math wrong. It's 69.

I've gotta get back to preparing my coffin, I don't have time for this

Time is a human invention.
- Time is a tool you can put on the wall, or wear it on your wrist
  
  The past is far behind us, the future doesn't exist! Oh, what's the time?
  
  Which man has created to aid his sense of decay, movement of all things, and exertion of control on his world
- Time is invented.
  But the number of cesium atom oscilations are a fact, not invented.

Time to bury my 45 year old husband brb
- 👮🏼‍♀️👮🏼‍♀️👮🏼‍♀️👮🏼‍♀️

I genuinely like to try to make myself think statements like this are true. If I do it for like a few years and start actually buying it myself, then I'll be pleasantly surprises when I actually turn 40.

Hmmmmm... So does that make me a time traveler? I've always wanted to be Phill of the Future.

I'd say I'm surprised
But then again, this is Lemmy, the place where they vehemently oppose generational wealth and yet clutch their pearls when their so called parents spend all that hard earned wealth on themselves

110 comments