When I was around 20yo, I spent a summer with a new group of friends pretending I knew everyone's names. It was anxiety hell. Today, I realize that I can just admit that I forget names and ask and it's no problem. But that was an interesting summer.
Once sat at the same table as another guy in high school every weekday for six months. We traded less than ten words in that time. Later we became great friends.
most names are made-up anyways, and i can't remember made-up stuff. there has to be something profound about it or i forget it
actually i have adopted a hobby of just giving people new names (yeah i know it could be seen as disrespectful but for me it's just a normal way of doing things) and then calling them by that name. yes, it has led to confusion in the past. but it just feels like the proper thing to do. (yes you can call me weird and no i won't take it as an insult.)
also, there's this weird phenomenon that when i make up a new name for somebody, somehow that's much easier to remember. and if i do forget and make up a new name again, that new name will often be the same as the first time. so there seems to be something "recognizable" or "fundamental" about it.
Jfc, if you knew how long it has taken me to know the names of some of my friends, and not just work friends or gym friends, it would be absurd.
Hell, even after months of hanging with someone, you might not know their last name; it's all "hey, I'm zipper". Why zipper? "I dunno, you know how it is". Yeah, I feel that. Anyway, went a beer, zip?
My chronic pain/disability support group shares space with an autism support group. Not a single one of the autism group knows my actual name afaik, but we'll hang out down the road at a diner some nights as a mixed group when we're meeting at the same time. It's all "hey, beard!" And "sasquatch, wanna see my cat?" And sometimes just "man". I've known some of them for years and we don't know each other's actual names. A couple of them, I've been to their house, and vice versa, and we don't know each others last name at all.
One guy in specific came over, heard my wife call out my name and was confused as hell because my name sounds like a regular word and thought it was a different nickname. Asked for the story behind it, and I had to show him my driver's license because he thought I was fucking with him. We'd had dinner together at the diner dozens of times.
After fucking around for a while turned into being exclusive for about six months, the woman who is now my wife realized that we didn't know each other's last names. If she hadn't brought it up it's hard to tell how long I would have gone not knowing.
i think names are an exception and only reserved for rare occurrences. honestly, i wouldn't mind if people didn't have names in general. just call everyone "child" "man" or "hey you" depending on their appearance. names are a weird concept to me. it's not natural that people have names, i guess.
For real. Came into work for six months and talked to this dude about a bunch of stuff every time. Only a week ago did I find out his name. Now I can finally say his name instead of starting off with "hey bro"
At least you remember names. Someone can tell me their name, I'll repeat it as suggested, forget it a few days later anyway.
I'll remember a phone number before someone's name.
Hell, I remember one dude as initials + his age when I met him. I don't know why. Example: If I met John Doe aged 32, there's a chance I'd remember him as "JD32", and forget his actual name.
Shout-out to MK22, I forgot your name again.
I have a friend who has a lot of friends. Sometimes we hangout together, but rarely. I cannot for the life of me remember their names and I swear 3 of them look the fucking same to me. It's always a struggle to keep pretending for hours until I finally hear someone call one of them by name. I remember that for a few hours. If we hangout again next day it resets out of my head again.
There's a place I like to go to for lunch once or twice a week and there is another regular that generally sits at the bar like me. I have talked to this guy over lunch off and on for almost a decade now. I do not know his name.
I have ADHD (+ other stuff) and so names has always been a massive issue for me. A few years ago I just stopped trying because I don't talk to most people anyways.
out of the ~25 people in this class with me right now (fun fact! I am breaking a law by being on my phone rn :3) I know the name of,
1: teacher
2: girl with pink hair
3: trans friend
4: person who sits next to me and cannot understand what a function is to save his life
5: someone who I sat next to in 3rd grade
The others, no earthly idea. I have COWORKERS in this class who I don't know their name 😓
I have ADHD (+ other stuff) and so names has always been a massive issue for me. A few years ago I just stopped trying because I don't talk to most people anyways.
I spent more than 4 years working in a place were I just knew the names of the 10 people immediately around me. People kept talking about person X or Y from another floor or room and I had absolutely no fucking idea who they were talking about.
So I travel all over for work at different places. I'll start telling a story about something that happened three weeks ago to a coworker. "Oh yeah, where were you at?" Me- blank stare half the time.
Sometimes it comes to me after a few seconds, sometimes I can't even remember which state I was in.
I used to be awful with names but I got better at that. Still below average, but better. I do have ADHD for what that's worth.
2 things that make it a little bit easier to remember other people's names is repeating the name of the person after he/she just said it and trying to associate with another person you know that has the same name. It's not perfect but it's better than forgetting every single time.
winter break starts tomorrow, I finished pretty much all my work last week. My school makes winter break start next week because of the way the semesters line up.
I was forced to spend 3 hours in the gym today watching a students vs teachers basketball game.
The most work I've done in the last 3 days is roll a die and draw a snowman depending on those numbers then doing math to figure out the chances of the ordering of them in AP Comp-Sci Principles lol
I appreciate the message though. I try to understand all the information I can, even if I'm horrible at Spanish 2 and English 😭
on the bright side, this is the last time I get to say "see ya next year" (I'm a senior in HS)
I have a friend who is a legend. If I've been hanging out with someone he will ask their name and if I don't know then he will introduce himself to them ask their name then tell me. Saved me so many times.
Yeah. "My boy from the bar, the one with the anime girl car..." or whatever is how my stories to my wife would go. If told to a general audience the pii would be removed.
Aw yes. There was this staging project for 3 months with a few Bolivians in the first half (Switzerland, they're rare here). Met one of them a month later at a train station, he asked what i do. I, bad at face recognition, explained him that i'm currently in tech school and that staging project going on. The poor guy tears in his eyes, cried.
Btw, those Bolivians were some of the nicest people i've met.
This is the correct way to do friendships. Drag doesn't agree with the forced intimacy of learning someone's name the same day you meet them. Names should be shared the third time you meet someone. Of course sometimes it's necessary to learn names earlier or later, but the default should be third.