Place your bets, unhinged takes only!
Place your bets, unhinged takes only!
Create your own forecast for the 2024 presidential election
What's your wild card take on the shit show?
Edit: Click on the states to flip them around.
2024 kamala wins, ten different jan 6-like events occur around country
2025 kamala does "inflation reduction act 2" much like the first one it has little effect on inflation
2026 trump dies and inspires a red wave
2027 the Dems begin mass deportations to prove their bipartisanship
2028 the republicans shatter into three factions - QAnon, Peter Thiel acolytes, and the returning Bush era style Republicans lead by Liz Cheney - and because of this fail to unite behind a single candidate, allowing Kamala to cruise to a second term with only 40% of the vote
2029 there is a military coup lead by QAnon true believers in the Air Force. it is poorly coordinated and understaffed - but it doesn't get crushed either, instead becoming a frozen conflict by the end of the year
2030 China lands on the moon. SpaceX is now diverting the entire American space budget into Starlink launches. Elon says we'll be on Mars by 2035.
2031 the "QAnon coup" has expanded and is now threatening multiple governor's houses. In the Northeast it is crushed by the intelligence establishment, in Texas it becomes legitimized as several of its leaders are invited into the Abbot administration, and in California a weeklong siege of the State House is broken when Gavin Newsom personally talks to some tank commanders and convinces them to defect.
2032 It is clear by now that Kamala has no actual power internally, and externally US dollar hegemony finally collapses. Various state governors begin to question publicly the point of having a federal government in the first place.
2033 Eric Trump becomes president. He initially signals to the intelligence establishment that he wants to help them reunite the country - but he is in fact only interested in stripping out the copper wiring as the federal government undergoes its final collapse.
2034 Newsom and Abbot secretly divide up the country into two blocs and to seal the deal announce that US citizens in their states will no longer have to pay federal income tax. The collapse of the tax system that follows marks the final dissolution of the federal government.
2035 China's moon base demonstrates Lunar hydroponics farming and ISRU to create the first self-sufficient presence on another celestial body. Elon Musk has been put in charge of Texas' space program, and promises a Mars landing by 2040.
2036 Neither the United American States nor the American United States take responsibility for paying the old USA's federal debt, and everyone with treasury bonds is left holding the bag. In hindsight, it's exactly how America was always destined to end - like a Ponzi scheme.
That last line
this was a very funny read, thank you
doesn't seem terribly far-fetched
Claudia/Karina Sweep
edit: forgot that they don't have Alaska, so that obviously goes to Trump
Who is this character? I see them everywhere here in China. For reference I am old and out of touch.
It's Hatsune Miku, the mascot character for the Vocaloid software of the same name. She's also a virtual pop star, kinda like Gorillaz.
1920s ass map
To be fair, it was supposed to be wild takes. An actually realistic version of 269-269 looks like this:
Yes, please, this. This would bring me joy.
Joe Biden/Jimmy Carter Ticket will win and they will have their revenge against Trump, Kamala and Obamna. Dark James rises.
Republicans barely take it in a dubious 2000 Florida style situation while the Democrats go full ballistic on lawsuits against the Green party because they got like 3% of the vote in a different, irrelevant, state.
This would be the most hilarious outcome possible that’s within the realm of reasonable. Dems finally achieve the decades-long pipe dream of turning Texas blue, but lose the rest of the Southwest and key rust belt states resulting in an electoral college win for Trump. Harris, of course, wins the popular vote by an even bigger margin than in 2000 or 2016.
Technically the Republicans would succeed in turning Texas blue because so many will switch parties after becoming fed up with the administration
this is my second guess tbh
Country goes full fash (red flavor). Last holdout is the vanguard stronghold in the People's Republic of Chattanooga that votes entirely third party
Republicans start torching obvious Republican districts and voting locations because Trump only won by 20% in that area.
No matter the result, I will have to stare into the eyes of all my neighbors with the knowledge that they voted for genocide and hold back my bile and venom for their cowardice and try to build a better world with these satanic compradors.
If it's any consolation, Kamala finally acknowledged what's going on in Gaza and
dropped (mostly)reduced the israel defending itself framing at her rally in MI yesterday to state in no uncertain terms that she would put an end to palestinian suffering. Still too little too late for me to take her very seriously but the pressure appears to be working even with the libs doing everything they can to suppress it.
Stein wins New Hampshire for no reason, Trump wins the popular vote loses the electoral college, the supreme court declares the college unconstitutional and hands Trump the presidency
Widespread violence erupts over alleged fraud and voter intimidation.
becomes interim president in exile while 
topples Kamala and takes power back to reign as president for life.Six months later he dies.
I also think the Lib Dems are going to do better than expected.
draw (kamala vs trump, pistols at dawn)
Nerds New Electoral map prediction just dropped
this is the second squirrel-election reference I've seen this morning – what did I miss?
Harris wins, Trump get shot, as a show of unity and reconcilation she invites Vance as her VP. Next election he runs as a Democrat with Richard Spencer as VP.
A GOP bloom of sufficient quantity to cause discoloration (red) in a country is called a red tide. They can potentially cause irritation or death to exposed creatures.
are there any sites that allow you to make a 50 state parlay? Feel like becoming a ten-thousandaire this week.
What's wrong with Montana and Idaho? Surrounded by perfectly rectangular states, but Montana has those weird squiggly lines to border Idaho. The rest of the state has 90 degree angles, except that border. What are they not telling us?
i don't know but it makes them not trustworthy
This is a joke but i actually have a low key hatred for rectilinear boundaries
I believe the historical reason is that Idaho was the land that the other states didn't want. See for instance, the creation of Montana Territory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montana_Territory
they get a dead tie, everything becomes chaos, VP becomes deciding vote on who wins, 2nd january 6th
Just in case anyone is curious what would happen IRL in this scenario, the state delegations of the newly elected House would decide the President on January 6.
Nixon will win
mine is that it doesn't matter in the slightest
That's like liquid helium take.
true but its my wild card
Helium, because if you heat the take up, it makes your voice sound funny. This is empirically provable by US liberals.
OP, you might want to add to post body and say you can just click a state to change its color. I dunno but it certainly wasn't obvious to me. I wasted time looking around pointlessly for "new map" link/button.
Done, thanks!
dems win and use the national guard to crush and kill republicans protesting the election result kicking off a civil war
Kamala wins by a large margin, but then faithless electors flip to for Trump.
Trump takes Arizona too and wins
I can't believe that site is still around. I was reading it 16 years ago
Kamala wins the election but concedes to an unhinged supreme court decision.
becomes President
declares the Peoples Republic of California