Getting new friends in Denmark can be difficuelt at first. Many are reserved and needs to thaw up first.
Do not expect colleagues to invite you home, if you are ysed to that.
However, when people open up it is because they like and respect you. Danes are in general not superficial as Americans often can be.
So remember, we are not unfriendly, just different from Americans :)
Advise from a 100% Dane.
Dane here, living in the UK but have lived in the US and spent a lot of time with Americans.
First of all make sure your are looking at Forskerordningen, which can radically lower your tax burden as a foreign worker coming to Denmark.
Second, binge watch YouTube - there’s a lot of content of Americans moving to Denmark and most of them are full of advice. Travelin’ Young is the most nuanced.
It’s very easy to navigate stores and big cities with English. Do not let that fool you. Danes REALLY appreciate arrivals learning the language and there are many places where not knowing the language will really impact you. Also, language is culture and it’s too easy in Denmark to fool yourself into thinking it’s not a problem for you. You won’t really live there and make those connections without speaking the language. Learn the language; I cannot say this clearly enough. It’ll make an ENORMOUS difference to you.
Danes are very direct compared to Americans. Especially in the work place. They can find Americans phony and saccharine if too indirect and they do not like corporate lingo. Speak plainly, be clear, feel a little “rude” (as an American) and you’ll quickly zero in on the right level of directness. It will be extremely difficult for you, as an American, to not read Danes as bored or rude. They are just plain.
Be advised that “provinsen” (the outskirts) is quiet, dull, won’t speak English and very bare. If you’re not living in a big city, be prepared for an uphill climb. On the upside, though, if you built relationships out there, they’ll last a lifetime.
If you want to be fully “adopted”, be advised that alcohol is part of the culture. Most events include alcohol. Sobriety isn’t normal (nor is getting blind drunk, basically go for the medium). If you decline a drink, people will understand, but it will prevent your acceptance.
If you have kids, steel yourself for the liberty danes afford their children - and expect others to give their own too. Kids will roam and being exposed to risk is seen as healthy part of growing up, including in state schools. Tree climbing, whacking each other, tumbling, whittling with knives, playing without supervision - these things are the norm and if you try to "protect your children" against these risks, you'll find Danes chuckling behind your back.
Janteloven is real. If you’re ambitious, be strategic about how you expose your ambition to others. Succeeding through hard work and not shouting about it from the rooftops is seen as "how it's done".
There's a "template" for the happy Danish life; Detached house, robot lawn mower, dug down trampoline, one nice car, robot vacuum cleaner, open plan living - OR a city flat. That's fine, you think, people can do what they want. But in Denmark, diverging from that template will cause others to be confused ... "why don't you want this life", they'll ask, never openly ... but not adopting this template will prevent a lot of things that you'll only ever discover once you adopt this template. Not keeping your house and/or your garden will rapidly ostracize you.
You won't eat out as much as you used to. Most Danes cook, every day, from raw ingredients. The US "recipes" that involved combining three branded, prepared foods, is not seen as cooking. Food and tax levels promote this life style, which means it's very expensive to eat out (however, the quality will be high). Take away foods are low quality, compared to the US ... there's is not the same DoorDash culture in Denmark and most take-aways are salty, fatty and done without a lot of care. You can struggle against it, but it'll kill your budget. Motorway stops are crap compared to the anglosphere - you're lucky to find food you'll want to eat. Public bathrooms will be rough in those places. Distances aren't as long in Denmark, so it's less of an issue in Denmark.
Danes are worried about immigration and will openly speak about these worries. The tone can seem very direct to an American. Be advised they definitely don't mean you; they mean immigration from Africa and the Middle East. There's an undercurrent of racism that's real - but it's not bound in skin colour, just in culture. If you behave nicely and - even better - you speak the language it'll never affect you.
Be on time. Danes expect others to be on time and they'll get very frustrated if you're not. If you're invited somewhere, arrive no earlier than the stated time and no later than 10 minutes after the stated time. Danes will work hard to be on time themselves and if you've invited someone somewhere for, say, 6pm and you aren't then ready at 6pm, they'll also be quite frustrated.
Money doesn't talk in Denmark. I mean, of course it does, and rich people quietly getting their way is an unfortunate fact of life in Denmark too. But people are not impressed at expensive habits, nor willing to accept that someone with money can jump the queue. As an example, there was an ENORMOUS debate this summer, across all news media, about Legoland having a paid option to skip the queue. It touched the very nerve of what Denmark was about to many Danes; "how can you be allowed to jump the queue just because you have money?!". Of course, private (supplementary) health care exists in Denmark, but private hospitals are out of sight and people wouldn't always feel proud to be able to afford to skip queues. "We are all individuals! We are all individuals!", "I'm not", "YES YOU ARE" is for real in Denmark.
That's a lot of warnings and negatives, I'm sorry.
On the positive side:
The Danish summer, when it arrives, is second to none. Warm, pleasant, beautiful, with free roaming kids enjoying each others company. Sandy beaches, ice-cream, happiness. Going to a summerhouse for a couple of weeks, even if rented, is a state of mind you'll quickly adopt.
Society & the state works. There's a template that you're expected to fit into and when you do, you'll realise how many things just WORK.
Politics are sane. People go from working a till in a supermarket to being President of the Parliament. Coalitions are normal. Politicians are much higher quality and much more sane than the US. You may even find your vote makes a difference.
Danish kids are, in my view, the most well-adjusted children you'll every find. Yes, they'll do risky things, yes they'll make drunken mistakes. But they grow up ready for adulthood. Their way of raising children is extremely effective.
The work-life balance is much better. It's ok to not answer emails at 11pm.
Danish wealth is in how they live. It's not always materially rich (I mean, it is, but not in the way you'd assess material wealth in the US), but it's very blessed and I'd argue Danes are a lot happier than most other people.
There is very little littering and trash in Denmark. People would be aghast at seeing someone throw something out of a car window and very likely to react against it if spotted.
Public pools, libraries and other facilities are very, very high quality. You get what you pay for and I'd argue the "deal" is totally worth it in Denmark. You will be expected to shower naked together and in front of strangers when entering any pool. It took my English family a little ... eh ... getting used to, but now they've come to appreciate the communal, body-positive nature of the experience and love the clean, low-chlorine water (low-chlorine because people are actually clean, before they get in). It also means Danish children - and as a result Danish adults - grow up with a much higher acceptance of nakedness and all the wonderful shapes and sizes we all come in. Sunbathing topless is common and being naked is not the end of the world.
Kindergartens are very, very state-supported and you do not need to earn a lot before it's worth getting back to work. Generally the quality is high, although in places with high levels of immigration or lower income, you'll spot the effects fleeing war or not earning enough has on families. The upside, thus, is that everyone can get back to work. The downside is that it's hard for a parent to make a choice to stay at home, even if they want to. Society frowns upon it, unreasonably so IMHO.
Unions are strong and in most workplaces you'll be expected to join one. Some collective agreements require it (i.e. prevents an employer from employing you unless you're part of a union). Unions, broadly, work and provide benefit. They often have a seat in the board and become working partners with employers. Overall, it's much better than not having any unions, though it's not perfect. Many unions run unemployment insurance too, so once you've worked and been a union member for a couple of years, any loss of job sees you losing only 20% of your income from before.
High quality schooling and extremely high quality university education is free (and you get money from the state while in education). The downside of free is that places are limited, so even if you're willing to pay to be trained as a midwife, unless your grade average is extremely high, you won't be able to. Intake is managed according to society's needs ("We need 200 midwives this year") and using high school grades ("Therefore we set the required grade average to A to ensure only 200 can enter").
Once you get to know Danes, and get to know the banter, you'll find really good friends.
Do you speak the local language, if not start getting courses now, even if many person are fluent in english, not everyone will want to speak English. (You know the joke about Parisian who don't know English if you start talking with them in English, but would switch to a perfect English if you have a slight foreign accent when speaking french)
Expect that even basic stuff won't work the same way as you're used too. It's already an issue when moving between two European countries, even basic stuff like what you can legally find on a lease or how to get health coverage will drastically change.
In southern Europe people are pretty touchy/tactile and an America would feel sexually harrassed, Nordic Europe is the other way around with pretty distant people where an American would pass for way too touchy/friendly
Learn to ride a bike, and expect to walk way more than in the US, also remember that even though winter are milder, Europe is way far up north than the US
Depending on where you'll live exactly, look up the local train and bus operator. If you're in a city, chances are, you won't even need a car most of the time.
Also get ready to install a different suite of apps. WhatsApp is big in europe, although Signal is obviously preferable when possible.
It's worth it. I'm almost two years in Germany. Wouldn't move back for a million dollars (although at 3 I could be bought). Work on the local language, volunteer or other community involvement activities, treat it like the new home it is. We're fortunate to be able to move to a new country, try to be a part of improving it and earning your spot there. I'm even more fortunate to be white, male, straight etc - assuming you're at least some of those things, do your best to counter the anti-immigration fear mongering that comes out of the political right. It effects you now, but more importantly it's ramping up and it'll effect people less fortunate far worse.
don't assume anything works the way it does in the US (from gasoline and driving to medical to government). There are lots of little things that seem like they obviously must be done X way but aren't in other countries
be careful with any investments. It's very easy to end up with PFICs which are punitively taxed (making retirement vehicles here in Japan outside of the national pension prohibitive for me, for instance).
celebrate
bring any snacks that you can legally bring but they can't legally sell (some things with food dyes, etc. if you really like them are banned in some countries to produce/sell but not eat).
Wife is already Swedish so I'm doing it on easy mode, plus job is remote.
Politeness, wow, that's tough to get used to. Trying to fix my silicon valley manners and I'm still coming off as the biggest asshole.
Government is more involved in your life, but it's not too bad, just something you get used to, ups and downs, they mostly try to help.
Amazon is shit, thats a thing for me, but you manage.
They have a food culture.
No, you may have misunderstood me, I did not say they have food in their culture, I mean a significant part of their societal culture revolves around food.
Did not understand this, used to Door dashing and eating to get by, they don't do that, food matters to them, spending half a day cooking is just a thing you do, it's not work to them anymore than watching YouTube is.
Otherwise you'll get by, just try to tone down your socialization reflexes, they're more reserved and our outgoing nature can scare them shitless if they're not ready for it.
Where are you gonna live? You don't need to specify city, but perhaps approximate destination? Jylland, Fyn, Sjælland? And which part?
Which line of work?
Indeed, try to learn Danish even though it is a ridiculous language. I believe there are even free courses, although I am not absolutely sure. Here's a few words to get you started:
Hej/godmorgen/goddav' = hello/good morning/howdy (last word especially in Jutland)
Farvel = goodbye
Tak = thank you
Velbekomme = you are welcome
Undskyld = sorry
Undskyld mig = excuse me
Ingen problem = no worries
Jeg hedder Frank = my name is Frank
Godt at møde dig = nice to meet you
Vi ses/hav det godt = see you/take care
Hav en god dag = have a good day
And remember! Free health care! Free schools and education! Although you will pay higher taxes, lol.
Hope you will enjoy! And feel free to ask questions. I live very near Aarhus in Eastern Jutland.
EDIT: formatting some how went wrong, just realised now. Sorry! Fixed.
Don't bring a truck or guns with you. Change some dollars for euros. Remember that the US has an insane tax system that follows you abroad and you still have to file taxes in the US in addition to the country you live in.
Unless work is helping you out, expect to have difficulties opening up bank account in EU due to FATCA. Lots of banks don't want to deal with that, so they'll outright reject Americans.
As others have said, try to learn the language, at least a little. Although I'd say 90% of the population will know English.
Take ferry over to Germany if you want cheaper beer/wine/alc. The Swedes go to Denmark, and Danish go to Germany :).
Language is by far the most important door opener, so put in one hour of learning every day for at least a year.
Mingle to get out of your comfort zone: Go to after-work parties and flea markets, take public transit. Use hobbyist/ meet-up apps. Read/ watch the local news.
Don't expect to be invited, especially not to people's homes. People might also be uncomfortable being invited to your home. Meeting in a public place is almost always the better option, unless you've gotten to know someone really well.
Irony/ sarcasm don't translate very well between cultures.
Europe has some lousy weather, so get watertight coats and waterproof your shoes and backpacks.
Take it slow.
Also: Enjoy it! Europe is a fantastic little place at the crossroads between Asia and Africa and I would never want to leave.
Since you are moving to Denmark: flee! Take a car and drive north to seek refuge in Sweden. Once you make it there you are safe, but you never know, the Danes could invade any minute. Keep driving north until you start seeing reindeer walking around like they own the place. Move into a cabin in the woods and never look back. The Danes can't reach you there.
Time to learn a new language, unless you're moving to Ireland or Malta I guess. Tons of people come to Germany and are shocked when not everyone speaks English.
Anyway, I think you'll get better answers if you specify a country. The EU is quite diverse, so I don't think there's a ton of advice that'll be true everywhere in the EU.
I don't know if Denmark does it, but Norwegians love to use week numbers in corporate/education environments for scheduling instead of using dates like normal people, so you might end up in a situation where you have to check the calender to find out what date Monday week 42 might be.
Create a second gmail account when you get there. Many apps that you will need there don't exist in the US app/playstore, so you will need the second account to download them.
Do everything you can to learn the language quickly. Take any language class offer you get. It will make life much easier in a new country, especially if you're looking to make friends. Immerse yourself in the culture immediately.
Remember that Europeans, especially Scandinavians, are not as openly friendly as Americans. They can seem cold and distant at first. It's not because they are not friendly, it's just a cultural feature. Once you get to know them, most open up and they are awesome.
On financials, keep all your bank accounts and credit cards open in the US and use a US address for them (and get a credit card with no foreign transaction fees). Don't advertise to the US banks that you moved overseas. Just use a family member's or friend's address. Also note that European banks don't have rewards credit cards, so I only use US rewards cards with no foreign transaction fees when living overseas. They'll send you replacement cards overseas if you ask them to, even when your account address is in the US.
If you don't already have retirement IRA accounts set up (not just 401k), do it before you leave the US. Also, open a brokerage account (e.g. Schwab or Fidelity) with a US address before you leave and don't change the address to your overseas address, ever. Leave as is. It can be very hard for Americans to invest because foreign banks are required to report different things to US authorities about customers who are American citizens. They don't want the bother, so they may not allow you to open an account there. And once you move it will be much harder to open the account in the US. Use a service like Wise to move funds cheaply to your US accounts for investments and paying off credit cards.
Get a cheap eSIM phone subscription with a US phone number for two-step verification abroad. You can use Wifi-calling to connect.
Finally, remember that you are eligible to vote in the US as a US citizen living overseas. You'll still be registered as a voter in the state and county you moved overseas from. You'll use your most recent address, and you don't have to have any attachment to that address any longer. It's only for voting purposes. If you're not already registered to vote when you move overseas, you'll also use your most recent address to register to vote. More information here: https://www.fvap.gov/citizen-voter.