I have written a love poem to my wife, for 1 shekel and 12 mina you may copy it and tell your wife it is your own. I promise it works well, she didn't yell at me for first time since the great harvest

You can't stop me from piracy

𒀭𒋾𒊏𒁉𒀉
𒊒𒀀𒈪𒅎
𒁺𒋗𒉺𒋾
𒀭𒈹𒂊𒇷
𒊮𒅀𒄭𒁀𒀀𒋾
𒀭𒋾𒊩𒌆𒈨𒇷𒋛𒅎
𒈾𒉿𒊏𒀀𒋾
𒆗𒉡𒌑𒌈𒅖𒌅
𒊮𒆠𒊭𒁉𒊑𒅎
𒄿𒈾𒀊𒉺𒄩

𒀭𒋾𒈗𒊏𒀜
𒄭𒇷𒄿𒍜𒅆𒀀𒆠
𒈾𒀝𒆷𒀜
𒍣𒋫𒆠
𒅇𒄭𒇷𒌒𒆠
𒄿𒈾𒈾𒀊𒆷𒋛𒆠
𒇷𒄿𒁍𒊒𒉏𒈠
𒌦𒈨𒌍𒆗𒇻𒅆𒈾
𒊒𒀀𒄠𒆠𒁕𒊑𒄠
𒀭𒈹𒄭𒅁𒋾
𒇷𒈬𒊏𒈠𒇷𒄴𒁲𒀀

You have a great wife, 𒌋/𒌋 would bang

I have a complaint! My wife immediately knew I didn't write this but didn't tell me how, so I began sleuthing and found out that she had gotten it recited by her secret lover, another customer of yours. When confronted about it, she confessed and demanded a divorce, saying the lover could tell the poem more heartily.

AITA?

too much simping for one's own wife - may you praise Ishtar more and maybe then she'll bless your wife to take your seed (and not just after a bountiful harvest)

This is originally "A hymn to Ishtar as the goddess of love written in Akkadian" by u/AlumParhum at Reddit's r/Sumer.

If Ishtar is your wife, are you Dumuzid, the god of shepherds?

This is clearly a Nam-Shub...

I am unconvinced this woman did not fart in your lap, since time immemorial, that is.