as classy as that ring would be on my pinky, jewelry is a no go for me: too awkward and clumsy. I prefer to keep my boner pills in a false tooth I can bite down on like a captured assassin.
"Who are you? Who hired you?"
"Suck off one head and two more will take it's place. Hail Viagra!"
[bites tooth and laughs]
So I'm fingering my partner, right? But my suicide ring has this faulty clasp, and for whatever reason I forgot to take it off before sexy time. Anyway, bada bing bada boom, I've got a life insurance claim.
Falling asleep with the dog sleeping on the floor and waking up as its drilling a hole in my leg after having licked my hand trying to wake me up to let him outside...