12mo ago

For imminent release

26 comments

Had me in the first half.
- Porpoise pimp didn't do it for you?
Print photos of different dolphins and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
So it's basically The Deep for Veep.
Beautiful. 🤌
Vance likely deviated from the tour to make love to his dolphin girlfriend (boyfriend?) and plot an escape, The Deep style. I just hope those star-crossed lovers’ journey doesn’t end in a similar tragedy.
What the hell did I miss‽
- Stuff and nonsense, as usual
  https://www.dailydot.com/debug/senator-jd-vance-dolphin-twitter-x/
  
  I hope Trump keeps him through election day. I don't think there's been a bigger buffoon VP candidate since Quayle.
- The joke
The worst part of this timeline is that I can't possibly know if this is real or not
Whut?
JD Vance? I thought you said he was dead?
- Naw I said he was sleeping with the fishes.
  
  yes! you made my day.
It's starting to feel like bullying. Not that it doesn't feel deserved, but why is JD such a target? Does he just have such a punchable face?
- He's a piece of shit who belongs to a fascist party and who might be the President of the United States when their Orange Turd in Chief gets flushed down the toilet.
  Isn't that a good enough reason?
  
  Yeah but that's true of most of the GoP but the best memes we ever got out of, say, McConnell were turtle references.
- Have you read any of his book? He constantly refers to rural people as dumb idiots who couldn't "get out" of their hometown because they were too lazy. Why he's the Republican candidate, I have no idea.
  His whole book is about how successful people move to cities and dumb losers stay in rural areas.
  
  I didn't know about the book, so thanks.
  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27161156-hillbilly-elegy
  At a glance, its just another, "I made it, so can you" fairy tale written for political cred.
  
  Ugh, I don't plan on reading the book anytime soon so no. But my point is mostly why aren't we making these jokes about all the other GOP assholes; most of them seem to have similarly terrible books.

26 comments