NT communication often has more to do with ritual and social cohesion than explicit meaning. I can see where it's evolutionarily useful but it can get really annoying
I don't mind the ritual and all that really, it's when people treat it as completely devoid of meaning that I get annoyed. Like it can be idle chit chat, I can be as responsive or generic as I want with it, I can just lie and say fine, or it can spur further conversation, that's all cool!
It's people that go "no you're supposed to completely ignore it and just treat it as if they said 'hey'" that drive me batty. Or who insist the only acceptable answer is "good"
OK, thanks. And yah, the response is not meant to always be, "fine". If you're having a bad day, you can tell me that without going into all the details. I usually want to know when that's the case so I can adjust how I talk to you.