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I have taught my kids to communicate with me solely via email, or via their lawyers.
The secret ingredient is unchecked alcoholism and rampant psychological abuse.
(/s, I don't even have kids)
Denying their existence is totally on-brand
I have taught my kids to communicate with me entirely in Morse code via blinking.
It's perfect as it's nigh impossible to be interrupted, and back-talk doesn't matter because they look too stupid to even get upset about.
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