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> ’"‘”’" means "I edited this text on both my phone and my laptop before sending it"

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> They originally came here to try to investigate our chemtrail technology, and got increasingly frustrated when all their samples turned out to just be water ice with trace amounts of jet exhaust.

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> The worst was the time they accidentally held the can upside down and froze all the Earth's magma chambers solid.

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> Although Kansas is widely thought to contain the geographic center of the contiguous 48 states, topologists now believe that it's actually their outer edge.

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> We're right under the flight path for the scheduled orbital launch, but don't worry--it's too cold out for the rockets to operate safely, so I'm sure they'll postpone.

https://xkcd.com/2949

Alt text: > If you repeatedly rerun the development of technological civilization, it turns out that for some reason the only constant is that there is always a networking utility called 'netcat', though it does a different thing in each one.

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> An idling gas engine may be annoyingly loud, but that's the price you pay for having WAY less torque available at a standstill.

Link to original static webpage version: https://what-if.xkcd.com/53/

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> In contrast to Pascal's Wager Triangle, Pascal's Triangle Wager argues that maybe God wants you to draw a triangle of numbers where each one is the sum of the two numbers above it, so you probably should, just in case.

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> 'Oh yeah? Give me 50 milliscore reasons why I should stop.'

https://xkcd.com/2945

> In addition to eating foxes, rabbits can eat grass. The grass also eats foxes. Our equations chart the contours of Fox Hell.

https://xkcd.com/2944

Alt text: > The ten-way tie was judged a ten-way tie, so no one won the grand prize, a rare fishing monopole.

https://xkcd.com/2943

Alt text: > I'm an H⁺ denier, in that I refuse to consider loose protons to be real hydrogen, so I personally believe it stands for 'pretend'.

xkcd \#2942: Fluid Speech

https://xkcd.com/2942

explainxkcd.com for \#2942

Alt text: > Thank you to linguist Gretchen McCulloch for teaching me about phonetic assimilation, and for teaching me that if you stand around in public reading texts from a linguist and murmuring example phrases to yourself, people will eventually ask if you're okay.

https://xkcd.com/2941

Alt text: > It's believed that Golgi was originally an independent organism who was eventually absorbed into our cells, where he began work on his Apparatus.

xkcd #2940: Modes of Transportation

https://xkcd.com/2940

Explain xkcd #2940

Title Text: >My bold criticism might anger the hot air balloon people, which would be a real concern if any of them lived along a very narrow line directly upwind of me.

https://xkcd.com/2939

Alt text: > PERPETUALLY OPTIMISTIC CASE: Early in the execution, our research group makes a breakthrough on proving P=NP.

https://xkcd.com/2938

Alt text: > Cosmologists estimate the spaghetti strand to be about 200 septillion calories, though it could be higher depending on the nutritional value of dark matter.

https://xkcd.com/2937

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> Sorry to make you memorize this random string of digits. If it helps, it can also double as a mnemonic for remembering your young relatives' birthdays, if they happened to have been born on February 5th, 2018.

https://xkcd.com/2936

Alt text: > Karpov's construction of a series of increasingly large rice cookers led to a protracted deadlock, but exponential growth won in the end.

https://xkcd.com/2935

Alt text: > I can't believe they wouldn't even let me hold a vote among the passengers about whether to try the loop.

https://xkcd.com/2934

Alt text: > Sometimes, you can tell Bloom filters are the wrong tool for the job, but when they're the right one you can never be sure.

https://xkcd.com/2933

Alt text: >\==COSMOLOGY==> 'Uhhh ... how sure are we that everything is made of these?'

https://xkcd.com/2932

Alt text: > This PSA brought to you by several would-be assassins who tried to wave me in front of speeding cars in the last month and who will have to try harder next time.

https://xkcd.com/2931

Alt text: > Certain hybrid events can only happen in certain locations where all the conditions are present; chasers flock to the area in and around Kansas known as tumbleweed-colliding-with-possum alley.

https://xkcd.com/2930

Alt text: > From Google Trends, it looks like the lag between people Googling cocktail recipes and 'hangover cure' is 14 hours.

https://xkcd.com/2929

Alt text: > While it seemed like a fun prank at the time, I realize my prank fire extinguishers full of leaded gasoline were a mistake.

https://xkcd.com/2928

Alt text: > The company tried to document how often employees were celebrating Software Testing Day, but their recordkeeping system kept mysteriously crashing.

https://xkcd.com/2927/

Alt text: > Poor Weeoming.

https://xkcd.com/2926

Alt text: > The Doppler effect is a mysterious wavelength-shifting phenomenon which seems to primarily affect sirens, which is why the 🚨 emoji is red.

https://xkcd.com/2925/

Alt text: > It's not far from the sign marking the exact latitude and longitude of the Earth's core.

https://xkcd.com/2924

Alt text: > The creepy fingers that grow from a vibrating cornstarch-water mix can be modeled as a chain of inverted vertical pendulums (DOI:10.1039/c4sm00265b) and are believed to be the fingers of Maxwell's Demon trying to push through into our universe.

https://xkcd.com/2923

Alt text: > Concealed mostly beneath the surface, sharks are the icebergs of the sea.

https://xkcd.com/2922

Alt text: > Bonus question: Where is London located? (a) The British Isles (b) Great Britain and Northern Ireland (c) The UK (d) Europe (or 'the EU') (e) Greater London

https://xkcd.com/2921

Alt text: > Okay, this eclipse will only be visible from the Arctic in February 2063, when the sun is below the horizon, BUT if we get lucky and a gigantic chasm opens in the Earth in just the right spot...

https://xkcd.com/2920

Alt text: > Fun fact: The standard North American NAD83 coordinate system is misaligned from the actual Earth, off-center by about 7 feet. Someone knows where I am, and I'm in the wrong place.

https://xkcd.com/2919/

Alt text: > First comes blood / Then we perish / Then comes Death in his Eternity Carriage.