You are amazing. I'm inspired. I've been an angry hate filled person for about 5 years and am recently pulling out through attempting some sort of self realization. Thanks for posting.
Remember...recovery is as much a part of your training as actual running. Don't let your mental self overhype your physical self. Practice self control and be kind to yourself.
Also important: NEVER make any decisions directly before, during, or directly after a run. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug and can influence your behavior as much as alcohol can sometimes.