and you will continue to get your members hurt until you learn to take a more principled stance. you didn't respond to the 14/88 pronouns bit, i might add. goodbye. you can find me on hexbear if you ever have a change of heart.

forcing people to capitalise the pronoun "you" is absolutely nothing to do with gender. there is a huge difference between using a pronoun for someone that you feel could sound dehumanising (and for what it's worth, i use it primarily because it was used as a slur towards me when i was younger) and requiring people to treat another person like a deity or a dom. it's not a me problem, it's abusive behaviour. i have absolutely no problem with neopronouns or xenogenders and have come out to support xenos many times. this is not that.

this is why you need politics in a community. i'm not talking about just political communities, but a political direction to your moderation. you're suffering from a paradox of tolerance. you're tolerating - and enforcing the toleration of - abusive behaviour because you lack the political instinct to see what is wrong with it. that makes this instance unsafe for trans people.

if someone comes on here and insists their pronouns are

are you going to tolerate that? this may be more subtle but it is ultimately no different.

ultimately you're right. i did find my experience here frustrating, and i also found it pretty frustrating watching my partner, who was more active here, suffer through all this bullshit. we've both left, as have a number of others, and i hope you're happy that your decisions have forced out so many trans people from your supposedly safe community. i'm not expecting you to change your ways at this point, but seriously. this is fucked up, and your openness is being exploited. i feel bad for the people here.

i 100% agreed with the respecting a trolls pronouns thing, until i came here. i still do, with the notable exception that i will not respect someone's pronouns when those pronouns make me feel sexually exploited - and when those pronouns have absolutely nothing to do with gender and are more about making a mockery of trans people and playing out a power fantasy over other people.

ban me for this if you want but i haven't spoken directly about this situation on this instance precisely because i expect to be banned for doing so, and it's simply not the same as any other situation with pronouns. the pronouns themselves are the issue. i'm a discord mod and sometimes i have to ban trolls with obviously racist, transphobic, or nazi pronouns - i don't respect those either. i can't see this situation as any different when the pronouns themselves genuinely make some people feel unsafe.

i would also add that you cannot have an instance without politics. trying to do so is making a political decision, and it is one that ultimately invites fascism. i would love it if all trans people had politics that were safe to be around. but they don't.

well thank you for clarifying and doing this much, i guess. but frankly this hasn’t been a safe place, none of this situation has been okay and i’m extremely not comfortable with grail’s behaviour as well. i’ve moved to hexbear despite my political differences with them and they’re honestly creating a far safer and more welcoming space for me as an anarchist and trans person. like seriously sort this place out if you want it to be safe for trans people. it currently is not.

i hope that continues to be the case. but i have absolutely no faith in this instance anymore i'm afraid.

i didn't mean you should choose new mods. i mean the remaining members should choose new mods.

and again, what were you trying to achieve? what was the ideological motive? what were your ambitions? seriously, the way you're responding to feedback does not give anyone the slightest bit of confidence.

i think you need to clarify what you wanted to achieve with the changes you were trying to make. there was an ideological motive behind them. make that motive clear to people. and then you should hold some sort of mod selection process so that you're not the only mod, or not mod at all if it turns out that you don't have the trust of members. suddenly taking control of the community under difficult circumstances, and making major changes that compromise the integrity of the community, before having to reverse them due to general outcry from members, is ambitious, in quite a concerning way.

thank you! i think.

yeah but it's more than that. so much focus on the political cycle of one country, particularly when that country has elections every 2 years, is really corrosive to a community and is not remotely constructive to discussion of actual anarchism.

i've been lurking for a bit and didn't really want to start commenting for the first time in the past few days for some reason. but i'm happy to see this community has been created.

am new to lemmy but i've been mod of anarchist spaces on other platforms and if there is one thing i've learned it is to ban electoralism entirely, including advocating for voting. i get that the outcomes of elections do have an impact, and i'm trans and vulnerable to that as well, and people are going to have v strong feelings on it. but it brings nothing but endless derailment of any space, anytime the US has an election, and it's not like we make up a big enough demographic to influence the results anyway.

meow i has been succesfully picked up (and ps my partner is amazing n v pretty :3)