I thought this was just me. I’ve been saying that a lot lately.

Won’t be buying one but this is a VERY idea.

Doubly impressive!

Greek Salad for sure! No other salad comes close

Miyoo Mini plus and Ambernic RG35xx are probably what you want. I have these two devices and the 353V, all three are quite nice but the MM+ and RG35xx are better to your needs and are probably better for beginners.

Personally I would go for the MM+. Definitely install OnionOS if you get a MM+ or GarlicOS if you go for thr 35xx. (JELOS is my pick for the 353V) These custom firmwares are far more polished and have more performance than the default OS and have tons of great features and community applications.

This reads like a youth pastor’s first attempt breaking through to the youth