Honorable mention !

If I was in charge of The Regime I’d have trouble convincing myself to not keep the libertarian party around as !twisted twisted !twisted jesters for the masses

(It can’t be the prohibition party btw because I already have plans for it- it’d be so easy to get 20 of yall to go to their next convention in some Best Western in Gainesville probably and nominate one of us)

I don’t make shit up btw

[insert Skibidi Pomni Ohio Gyatt Rizz joke here]

Basically they’ll only certify a candidate if they’re officially nominated by August 7 and the DNC only starts on the 19th lol

RFK’s gonna get second place in a state let’s gooo !agony-wholesome

Imagining their police handing this out at SeaTac like that mid-70s NYC Fear City pamphlet so that they can convince the mayor to buy them newer M4s somehow

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I look like this thing btw

!xinternet not now babe, 4 hour vid abt how fucked sm64’s code is just dropped

My snout descends !reisen-dance

They grow up so fast !wholesome

Nothing else has its anniversary today. Just this. Ignore the haters (you know the ones).

What’s with the soft white underbelly thumbnail filter lmao

Abdullah has had some uhhh interesting takes !

i had the idea at like 2:35 am and couldnt just let it die

i would post it to badposting but i wont, cause my posts are good

Link has a brief rundown on some of your races (and a pretty big backlog for more info). Iowa has an uncommitted option for the presidency, but the other states only have regular candidates and a handful of “qualified” write ins. Orbmom may or may not be the lesser evil to support against Biden in these cases.

What I’m feeling is

• most remaining hipsters joined the techbro hive by covid
• they aren’t COMPLETELY dead, just completely localized to Portland, which appears to be continuously larping the obama era zeitgeist
• can any Portland hexcubs confirm that? (and also explain where all the cool stuff is, because if I were one of the actual good and grimy artists from there that I follow on Twitter, I would’ve ditched that city long ago)
• checking again, Portland seems to have gotten better (thank fuck)
• pretty sure dimes square (the red scare pod autonomous region) was sprung out of a temporally displaced stray seed of the culture watered by too many esoteric conservative think tanks
• is dimes square still a thing cause god I hope not
• Assholes with too many crypto startup ideas have been handed the baton of gentrification. Pax Gastropubia has passed, but its cultural ghosts will linger on. The five minimalist dispensaries on the same block with fake neon lights inside will go under from sheer market oversaturation, the exposed brick walls with fake vines at the downtown “dive” bar may be painted over within a decade, but it won’t bring back the community that was there before- the last lesbian bar in the metropolitan area, the imports store that moved to the very edge of the city limits, the cafe that would pass for a cigar shop at first glance. All that remains is an allusion to the neighborhood’s “vibrant history” on its Google Maps description.
• Decades from now, the plasticine mixed use complexes will be condemned, their poor build quality (no matter whether the apartments above the shops were billed as affordable or luxurious) being deemed a threat to safety. A worker taking out the wiring for recycling stumbles upon a long sealed room.
• He turns on his flashlight. There’s a bowling lane (with cords to pull up the pins), a lone pinball machine in the corner, and too many decals with 80s movie references to count. The fake weathered vintage wallpaper is a vague hybrid of early 60s pastels and late 60s geometric shapes. You can faintly hear Macklemore out of an overhead speaker.
• He’s cleared out 5 restaurants with these exact motifs in the past week.
• Why did we allow 2010s vibes to get this bad?

What I’m getting is that

• their paid staff has had a union for some time by now
• 12 members (of unknown seniority to me (apparently high up though, getting 90k a year)) got laid off
• union is getting mad about it, people are either mad at national org for unionbusting or at the union for splitting
• thisll probably blow over in like a month

Am i correct here or nah

Started off when I imagined wonks asking one another about the SOTU like it was Monday Night Football. Now I’m imagining that instead of being themed after local teams, they’re themed around semi-famous senators. The Minnesota expat community in your random medium sized town all go to Hubert’s at lunch to watch bills get passed. True Idaho Patriots watch book signings during dinner at the Crapo Chap House. Papa Strom’s at Myrtle Beach is getting sued yet again for violating the Civil Rights Act. You can down a Zell Miller Light at any given watering hole in the northern outskirts of Atlanta.

So far I’m imagining her riding a bicycle into the one caucus place in DC and obtaining the Delegate Effect (it just gives her a barbershop quartet hat with campaign memorabilia on it)

• Grimy doctor
• Porn cards
• Comically blatant copyright violation
• Grimy doctor x2
• Grimy doctor x3
• Grimy tattoo parlor
• Overpriced insurance
• WEAPONRY GRAHHH
• Quack “doctor”

!freedom-and-democracy