Ok replying to my super old thread now because I hadn't been checking my inbox. I thought it would be clear that I'm referring to WSL, not the actual windows kernel. It's tightly integrated enough that you effectively have the windows gui with a Linux shell running the distro of your choice, which is able to access all your windows files, compile and run services for development etc. IMO it's a MUCH nicer experience than OSX precisely because it's actual gnu+Linux instead of the crusty bsd stuff that comes with OSX.
Anyway apologies for the confusion.
I wish I could make things better for you, and I hope you find yourself one way or another, but for whatever it's worth I will say this: daaaaamn you have amazing hair! I wish mine had that kind of volume!
Modern windows is Linux with a gui that can run windows apps, which is to say it's actually pretty great imo