Djfok43 @ Djfok43 @lemmy.world

Posts

4

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51

Joined

2 days ago

If you're gonna edit your comments now to remove the insults towards me, you can go ahead /s

Either way stop talking to me

You're also free not to spam my post with personal attacks in multiple comments

you're right you're not good enough for him and you're not desirable enough

Continues saying bad things about me based off of a few comments

Considering you've never met the guy nor me, those are some very bold statements you're making. Yeah I'm not interested in this discussion, you can go bully someone else now under the guise of "helping" them

That's not the case here. Some people who aren't me brought up some things they noticed about living here online anonymously and hundreds of comments were basically just attacks and aggression. It's an anonymous forum, you can bring up how you're feeling as an expat. He obviously wasn't looking to start an argument, just find some connection or vent. I'm sure he's already aware not everyone feels the way he does.

No, I just don't think being "friends" or acquaintances of whatever with someone online who is 10 years younger than me, when I'm still young too, would be particularly helpful for me personally. Glad you find value in those friendships. This is the second comment of yours that seems to be crossing the line with me though so have a nice day.

Thank you for sharing. That's the hard part. I don't know what I want, because I genuinely don't know if success is possible for me. I really don't believe in myself and I feel like it's already too late for me to achieve anything. I know I don't want to be in this country but I feel guilty leaving my parents and grandparents behind. Also I don't really know if I would be happier elsewhere. Yes I would have a better environment, with clean air and nicer nature and better public transportation. But would that stuff even be worth it if I have literally no one, and have to work all the time in some super replaceable role where the boss will make sure I know it? I mean, not like I have anyone here apart from my parents and grandparents, who I barely get along with. But it still provides me with some sense of security or support. I think it I had a friend or two it would probably help. I feel so afraid alone, not being able to share anything with anyone. Can't share stuff with my family. This current life is nightmarefuel. Of course tons of people have it worse but compared to my quality of life before, this is appalling, horrifying, nightmarish. I feel like someone that landed in some post apocalyptic planet, or like the movie Idiocracy. It's exactly what I feel like, some kind of alien here and I'm gonna go insane having absolutely nobody who agrees with me or understands. Like there is no one in this entire country who understands. But it's not even that that is the problem, it's the fact that any time I share something about how I feel it's met with anger, resistance, or dismissiveness. I mean someone doesn't have to understand to offer support, but they do have to have some semblance of empathy.

Can I ask if you're norwegian/born there? That probably has an impact on how much you might enjoy it too maybe

Sorry for the personal questions, i am curious about Norway having visited before

What do you mean, like I should have more reasons that the ones listed in the comment? I don't have anything tying me here except my parents being here. I don't get along with them super well but I still care about them. I lived apart for them for several years before though (in different countries).

That's the other thing though, I don't know if I can decide what the best plan is for me for the next few years. I really do feel paralyzed about it. Im afraid to take risks now, it just seems so scary and fatal as I'm getting older. Like if I make the wrong choice I've basically ruined my life, because I'm running out of time to make something of myself.

The mod didn't like it.

Honestly, I suspect it might also have something to do with the specific board and thread I would frequent. That kind of makes it all the more messed up. If I had known this would or could happen I would've just stopped going there. But now that I think about it, it's probably the reason I got permabanned, by some power tripping mod from there.

Well, I guess one of the things stopping me from that is that it took me 24 years just to meet a single person like that.

The other thing is that I wasn't good enough for him so why would I be good enough for someone else like him?

The third is that I'm older now, so I'm "less desirable" although idk if I ever was desirable based on my experiences. Either earth is actual hell or i am significantly defective in some way(s)

They are able to be "fake nice" if that counts as warming up. Honestly I can't put up with their blunt, callous, rude and egotistical behaviour for long enough to get to anything "more". Like what more could there be with someone like that? Most people I know here have many acquaintances but not really any true close friends. Not to mention the stories I hear about friend group drama and cheating. Like really I'd rather stay away from all of this. Also in the culture here it's very common for the woman to be as fake as possible and try to be a golddigger for some really gross guy. It's especially cringe because they all dress and do their hair in the exact same way which I think is tacky af. They're just very vain and I feel so uncomfortable around them because I can tell they're "sizing me up" and view me as beneath them cause I don't wear high heels 24/7, and spend my entire paycheck on extensions, fake nails and the newest iphone. I'm sure there are exceptions, and it MIGHT be possible to find someone nice, who isn't extremely racist, but I don't think I can endure the pile of crap that I have to sift through to find that. I think most people who wanted a brighter future left this place long ago. I genuinely have no idea why anyone would stay here, unless they're ignorant af. The constant smoking, pollution, aggression, toxic masculinity.. they call any woman over the age of like 23 an "auntie" (a special derogatory word for it) and this is unironically. Men here absolutely despise women and treat them like garbage for the most part. I'm sorry but this place is a literal shithole and I feel like most people who disagree are lying to themselves. Not to mention most people get extremely defensive (and aggressive) if you dare say anything bad about the country online, and I feel like that says a lot too. The overall mentality of people here is the same in every aspect of life. They can't accept feedback, they can't view things from others perspectives. It's just their way or the highway. Also they immediately resort to aggression or violence for pretty much anything. Sorry this turned into a vent. The only good thing about living here is that I don't have to worry about paying rent, which takes a lot of pressure off of me, but there is nothing else enjoyable about it.

Honestly I really did try to use discord. I tried searching up so many different communities for my interests and they just aren't active at all. They maybe have like 5-10 active users and they're all significantly younger than me. I feel like I'm just cursed.

Interesting. I presume for the average adult this wouldn't really be an issue, unless they are switching job or working some kind of job with variable income. Unrelated question- do you like living in Norway?

I'm not trying to be antagonistic when I say this, but I don't think it's his fault that he is shallow. He probably couldn't help the fact that he wasn't as attracted to me as he would have liked to be. I don't necessarily think that makes him a bad person, though I kind of agree he maybe shouldn't have dated me or led me on to the point that he did, if he knew from the start I was not what he was looking for.

I think he was just excited to finally have a gf, and to have met a girl he had a bunch in common with that he liked talking to. I think he definitely liked the validation and attention from it too.

I think maybe im being easy on his wrongdoings because of the nice things he did for me too. And they weren't super small things either. I don't know, but all I can say is I've met a lot of guys and I never felt like anyone understood me or even remotely cared about me like he did. Maybe I'm just unlikeable trash, because at this point that's my only explanation. Its not like I've rejected a bunch of good guys or anything.

Maybe his honesty was a way to absolve himself of the guilt he felt by leading me on, I'm not sure. But I feel like if either way he is going to date me, it's better to be honest about how he feels at least a little.

Honestly, that didn't offend me because I know I'm not that pretty, and he did warn me that he is generally shallow appearance-wise. So like nothing he said was wrong. And I do get why he would want someone prettier to be with "forever". It did make me a bit sad though that I couldn't be what he wanted.

I mean me neither but like that doesn't make him a bad person or anything

I mean what am I supposed to do?

Disconnect between me and others? As I said others like him too so there's no disconnect there

Tbh I really liked Norway and Denmark but they're outside of my budget rn unless I want to camp out the whole time in Norway. Portugal it is

What do you mean "a man like that"? I'm sure most men think it, he's the only one that was honest about it

He was just being honest and he didn't say it to hurt me he just told me how he was feeling