Anon learns to love the bath bomb

drop your childhood stories:
be me, age 12
hate showering more than anything
it feels gross and i hate getting wet
my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
quickly wet my hair with sink
mom buys it, i get dindin
after a month she gets suspicious
realize i have to step up my game
now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
come up with final version of my genius plan
i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
then i'll rinse off in the sink
all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

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157 comments

If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.
been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.
Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.
- It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.
  
  A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.
  
  That story's as spicy as whore's radish!
  
  Well, he shouldn't look a gift whore's mouth.
  
  I'm a whore expert and concur with this diagnosis.
  
  Dad? When are you coming home?
  
  Soon. Any day now.
  
  Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.
  
  "IT'S REAL WORK MOM"
  
  Daaaaaaaayyyuuuummm, I wonder what was the chatter before the kid yelled that
  
  I was split between the kid problem solving their personal money issues, or unintentionally acting obtuse with a word they’ve only heard in passing. Sadly, we’ll never know as my partner felt disinclined toward listening in any further.
  
  We always called it military shower.
  
  I thought that was just pits and bits?

157 comments