1y ago

Old-timey doctors

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"your hot wife obviously is suffering from sexy demons. I need to use my specialized equipment to vigorously purge them from her, once each evening, and sometimes just after lunch..."
- That sounds far fetched until you remember that they diagnosed women with hysteria and treated them by giving them orgasms. When the vibrator was invented to treat muscle pain much later, doctors latched onto them for treating hysteria to give their hands a break.
  
  Absolutely. Hystéra is Greek for uterus. Hysteria, or the “roaming uteri” theory was a successor to Plato’s theory of hysterical suffocation. They believed that the uterus could migrate around the body, placing pressure on internal organs. It’s like gynecological fan fiction.
  
  I think that makes up for a lot of bad things that were done.
  
  Greek, not latin
- that still exists today in Turkey
  
  Well in that case
  Merhaba, bugün doktorunuz olacağım. Lütfen eteğinizi kaldırın, iç çamaşırınızı çıkarın ve her zamanki pozisyonu alın.
  
  Can you tell us more? It sounds legitimately interesting.
  
  Gobble gobble
The only logical solution is for me to blow pipe tobacco smoke in your butthole.
"You got hysteria lady, time for a finger blasting session."
- They used a vibrator because they did not want to get tired.
  
  Sometimes
  
  I've never heard that term for an intern.
- I mean, yeah, after you got a hysteria lady.
Lol, you can still do that, just call it "the truth that big pharma doesn't want you to know"
Credit to John Mulaney for this joke
- This joke has been around a lot longer than he has.
  Also, this image is a knockoff of a decade old meme, but made worse by adding a lot more words.
  Edit: the older version
  
  Thank you for your input.
Sadly you could still do this today and charge insurance in the US as long as people don't care you're charging their insurance.
Not to leave out covering your forehead in leeches to suck out evil.
Something about the phrasing "you should do a lot of cocaine about it" really tickles me. I wonder what you call breaking grammar rules for humor like that.
- You’ve piqued my interest and now I want to know, too!
You've got a horrible infection and a fever?
I'll be right over to slit your veins and let all the bad blood out.
(In fairness I think bloodletting was mostly out of practice by the time actual telephones existed, but lol joke)
Maybe a more time period accurate one would be:
Your foot hurts? You think its from a badly fit shoe. Ok. Ok. Come over tomorrow and we will stick your foot into the wildly overpowered and unshielded x ray scope and we'll see what can be done.
Sadly (or not), they werent making shit up, they actually believed what they said
- So do the crazy people
  
  Yep. Thats a demographic that has gotten a whole lot more exposure lately
There is a ghoti swimming in your veins
- Do you have a ghoti-ing licence for that joke? Wild ghoti must be preserved, you know!
Let’s not forget, keeping your ear to an ample bosom “listening” for heart sounds.
Today they advocate for Keto and lab grown meat
- Unless you're referring to fake meat like impossible burger, what is wrong with lab grown meat? Does the nutritional value change when cells are cloned or something?
  
  Most notably the fact that it grows so quickly by utilizing cancer cells, also that this is the exact same scenario as the cigarette epidemic, no one knows what exactly are the side effects since this has never been done before, were trying to paly god without knowing the implications. Also i find it ironic how most people stay away from preservatives and artificial chemicals because "theyre bad and make in a lab" but will happily down man's attempt at playing god

56 comments