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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

kewwwi @lemmy.world

11mo ago

fruit

87 comments

I don't know which of you degenerates need to hear this, but: DO NOT FUCK THE PINEAPPLE!
- I'm afraid to ask, but you seem experienced, so here goes: why not?
  
  Just a shot in the dark here... But pineapple enzymes are strong enough to eat the skin inside your mouth...
  Now imagine that but on the much more sensitive skin of your dick
  
  The juice is highly acidic to the point of being able to tenderize meats without assistance
  Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo
  
  Pineapple has enzyme that eat flesh
  
  Pineapple juice can be used as a meat tenderizer, for cooking.
  
  It's juice is very acidic and will not feel good when it gets inside your urethra.
- They said if you eat lots of pineapple it makes your cream filling taste sweeter.
  
  speaking from experience?

No coconut? Coward
- hes not fucking nuts
  
  Beautiful
- That's how you get maggots
  
  Oh no vietnam flashbacks

"What's up everybody it's critical, today I bought the 1.2 million dollar fuckable grapefruit"
- I don't care if I go blind, I don't need to see the price tag anyway
- Somehow, the "sold out" is the worst part 😄

Dude, that's not what melon-baller means.

frussy
- Username checks out

Where's the link to the video? I remember watching this guy fuck various pasta dishes.
- there is video?
  
  ooh buddy you're in for a treat
  
  The guys name is John Kilo.
- Wait was this the Cup Nood guy?! It's been so long.

Can elope 🥰
- Did... Did you just make the post wholesome?

Is this guy trying to fertilize a boiled ostruch egg?
- I believe that's a cantaloupe.
  
  Well they might have to if he got it pregnant.
- Is there another way?
  
  The republicans made it clear. Unless that watermelon is dying and is not in a republican state, that melon 🍈 baby 🍼 is going to be borb!
- Allegedly.

Bro is single handedly gonna discover the first human×fruit homunculus

No I will not fucking hear you out Jeremy
- But the banana shape! It's a sleeeeeeeeeve!

Hard to tell if that's a shadow or if he REALLY enjoyed the pineapple
- Fact : Pineapples have tiny needles that cause irritation.

https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/02/11/wow16
- A man of culture

And? What were the results?? This man has done science for us, what were the results?!?!?
- He put vodka in them. It tasted like fruity vodka.
  
  Vodka..... Right...... "Vodka"
- (Warning: NSFW) The source (includes a ranking at the end)
- Results? No, no. I need the documentation of what happened. I'll, uh, come to my own conclusions after that.

Your fruit fucking skills are remarkable.

If you can grapefruit your man, maybe other fruits works?

I wish she'd post on lemmy 196, this was a fun running gag :3

Is this the prep step for American Pie?
- Mise en place

I'm not going to kink shame. At least nobody(or animals) were hurt from his activity.

Someone needs to explain to that dude how new fruit is made.
- fruits are mammals now
  
  you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals

Fruicking

As someone much wiser than I once said " where's the cream filling!"!?

Use a lemon, have a party.

Someone should tell him theyve already been seeded

Weirdest episode of binging with babish

I do miss regularly getting anarchostripperism's posts in my feed while scrolling reddit in public

87 comments