I really only started following SNL early in her pregnancy with L. I did some back scrolling at that time but nothing much.
Today I went looking for a picture that demonstrated something and scrolled waaaay back and now I just feel sad. This woman’s whole life has been about her body size. (Curious- who lost weight first, her or her mom?) Anyway reading her posts during her thinnest era there is this subtle sadness about them. That same sadness has never changed. She made a post about mental health in her family and how she once felt proud to be the family member who didn’t have issues…and then she did. I mean I think no one escapes earth without mental health issues of some kind. It’s no different than physical health. Would anyone say “I’m proud that I’m the only one who has never had a flu”? (Tho I do know some people who brag about never having had covid-as tho it’s an STD or something 🙄)
No matter how for back or forward you scroll you find one focus and that is body size and body “quality”. No wonder she has become who she is now. You simply can’t focus on that so intensely for so long and not become really fucked up by it. Has there ever been any other focus? Art? Cooking? she rarely even talks about REAL food. Advocating for animals? Heaven forbid anything political. There’s nothing of a spiritual nature. Nothing about spending more time with each kid, or less time each week online…none that I found. Just words about body acceptance that she seems to be faking. She has always been happier in a very small body, even if her dysmorphia still existed. As time has gone on more and more health issues pop up, wax and wane, etc. and I think these are distractions for her.
I’m rambling. But she’s just really fucked up. She’s saying one thing and doing the opposite and a couple million women don’t see that they are being influenced subconsciously to actually hate themselves.
The end
Here’s the picture which is now irrelevant to my novella.
My hypothesis is that she is filtering to look like the smallest version of herself she once was. She wasn’t able to lose weight after she had the content baby, and it was then she started filtering so extremely. Don’t get me wrong, I think she has always filtered, but it seems to have gotten worse and more extreme postpartum.
You are absolutely right that she has nothing to offer except this is so-called body positivity. Way back when, she used to post about yoga and occasionally food posts. Now it’s all toilet poetry, sexual innuendos (for her male fans 🤮) and faux bopo.
It is sad. It’s sad she doesn’t seem to get the same kind of ‘joy’ from anything other than the superficial. She always tells the story of weightloss saying she wasn’t happy at her lowest weight, says she was filtering herself even smaller, then realizes it was her marriage making her unhappy and overhauls her life. She’s chasing fame the entire time. She’s staging moments with the kids, she’s crafty, thrifty, yoga etc hoping
to hit because, as she’s said herself, she’s always wanted to be on stage and SM is it. She probably doesn’t feel that different now than she did at her thinnest and still missing something but she can’t admit it. I think the missing piece of the puzzle is she’s missing any real depth. She doesn’t seem
to care about anything of substance.
She’s always chasing the high she got from watching her followers grow as she lost the lbs.
It’s the attention that fuels her and she really got a lot of attention during Covid and her follower count grew again like it did in the beginning.
Her filtering got even more heavy-handed but she was preaching body acceptance. I remember her talking about being afraid of having another child because it meant gaining weight and that
was one of those SNL vulnerable moments
connecting with her followers and crowdsourcing to see if that move would help or hinder her image.
It is sad that she seems to have put all her self worth into how she looks and her follower count because that’s never going to bring a lasting happiness and the constant lies and covering up must be exhausting.
Great read. I feel the exact same way about her. She's so obsessed with her body and looks. It's her only focus on life. It's actually pathetic. She definitely needs to be held responsible for the lies and the problems that she has caused so many women.
She looks like she is 15 in the middle right picture which is unsettling. I don't really find her situation sad because this was all her own making and she could easily unmake it by being vulnerable and honest to start to heal and rewire her brain. I think the filter thing got really out of hand during Covid. It's like she made her ideal version of herself and got famous for that face without the foresight of long term where she would reach a point where she would be very visibly in the public eye without a filter over her face. I'm sure she didn't really imagine the opportunities she would get, so the overuse of filters had to continue so she could maintain the charade. Then the procedures increased to try to gain some of the characteristics of her filtered face and then she could claim she doesn't use filters, it's just angles. The people in her life enable her because she makes bank, and because Sarah doesn't really seem like a friend that you could have one of those "get your shit together, I'm concerned about you" conversations with. She would cut you out and probably try to ruin your life so I am sure there is a certain level of walking on eggshells around her as well.
Looking at those middle photos, I cannot believe that I thought that was her actual face for awhile during the pandemic. Now that I look at them and can’t believe how AI they look. So fake, so damaging.