Lots of times the restaurants won't even have milk

and the options are sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, or water
- And diet sugar
  
  ’ll have a number 6 with extra dip. Big Smoke: I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda. Make that diet, I'm trying to watch my weight.
- To be fair, the alcoholic menu us typically like this too. 95% of the menu is beer, wine, or vodka and some kind of syrup.
  
  Even if it's not on the menu, it's not like you can't get X neat or on the rocks.
- ^ This. Diet Coke/Pepsi if you're LUCKY. Otherwise, water.
  
  Do you people’s restaurants not serve iced tea?
- I mean, I just annoyed that milk isn't even an option in a lot of restaurants. It's something so basic, like.
  
  actually milk is slightly acidic
  jk
  
  Sorry, the milk is for the kids' menu. You can't order from that.
  
  Check the menu for items that require milk as an ingredient. You might be able to order a glass even if it isn't on the menu.
  
  To order for a kid? Or the sloppy steak?
  
  Are you a cat?
  
  Despite what Lucille Bluth believes, vodka doesn't bad in a few days after opening bottle. Milk goes bad quickly.
  
  I've been in plenty where you could just order milk. 🤷
  Though usually those are chain restaurants that prioritize breakfast, might be why.
  
  If the restaurant has a kids menu, it also has milk.
- Afaik, the only other options for beverages anywhere is milk, coffee and tea. And depending where you get them, the coffee and tea may as well just be sugar (or aspartame) too.
  
  Well, coming from a tropical country to the US was a disappointment there. I used to be able to get a variety of freshly squeezed juices almost anywhere, and the only thing they serve around here are bottled OJ's that barely taste like orange. It's not even like there's a limited variety at the grocery store, it's just not a thing...
  
  Mocktails, a whole new world
- This annoys me so badly.
  I don't drink carbonated beverages,, so when I go into a place and don't want beer then my options are basically coffee or water.
  Fine in the mornings, but I don't want a coffee at 5PM. So I guess it's just water then huh
  
  i'm a hydrohomie, i would be/am more than fine with that.
- What's wrong with water? I usually just get water and ask for lemon slices to squeeze into it. Which is a game changer and they always have on hand because of the alcoholic drinks lmao
- Don't forget fake sugar. And most of that "sugar" is actually corn we tricked into tasting like sugar.
  
  I honestly hope you are making some attempt at a joke, and I'm just failing to get it...

I feel like this joke would have landed better 5, or maybe even 3 years ago. Every even remotely fancy restaurant I go into has jumped on the mocktail bandwagon and offers plenty of options for people avoiding alcohol.
- Of course they do. They sell them equally expensive without the expensive ingredients!
  
  Basically water and a little juice, and they charge $8.
  
  Really? They're kind a third of the price here.
  
  You are paying for way more than the sum of the parts when you order a cocktail, I'm not really sure why you'd suddenly be concerned about doing so when it comes to a mocktail.
  
  Price of drinks have very little relation to the price of alcohol.
  Edit: in the US. Other places might have more esoteric booze tax schemes.
- Even then, it's not really accurate anyway. A cocktail is a bunch of ingredients mixes together. You can usually get them without the alcohol if you ask for it (obviously this doesn't work for every drink). They list of cocktails is so large because there's a lot of ways to combine a few ingredients to make different things. They don't actually stock that many types of drinks or anything. They're made on demends, and can usually be modified if you ask.
  
  Cocktails without alcohol cost way too much for what they are. That would be like paying 15 bucks for a burger without meat.
  Restaurants sometimes also have like dozens of types of beer, wine, etc. but the best non-alcoholic they can do is a water or a coca cola softdrink?
  
  If you can remove the alcohol from any "cocktail" and still have more than just flavored ice or a dirty glass, you were drinking slightly alcoholic mocktails the whole time.
  Old Fashioned mocktail is a cherry on top of a large ice cube that you've used to bludgeon some sugar and an orange.
  A Sazerac mocktail is akin to an empty glass someone just drink a sweet lemony drink from. You don't get the lemony drink, just the dirty glass.
  A margarita mocktail is salty lime flavored ice. This is basically a daquiri mocktail too, adding a strawberry seems popular.
  A Manhattan mocktail is a sweetened cherry in an otherwise empty glass.
  A mojito mocktail is a bit more substantial, minty sugar water with a hint of lime.
  A mint julep mocktail, again just minty sugar water.
  A white Russian mocktail is just a glass of cream over ice.
  A mimosa mocktail is just a nearly empty glass of orange juice.
  The non-alcoholic parts of a cocktail are rarely more than a quarter of the volume if they're made properly. Most cocktails are a half oz of sugar water and a citrus flavor. The other 2/3 of the volume (not counting the ice) is alcohol. Just order a soda, soda water (with or without a garnish), tea, or my favorite a Topo Chico and lime.
- I was just in Dublin and saw Guinness 0.0 in a bunch of places. Things are definitely shifting if that can exist in Ireland.
  
  That's great news! Occasionally I browse the NA beers and last week I thought how great it would be to be able to drink a Guinness! Maybe it arrives here sometime.
- At least in North America. I get the sense Europe still thinks drinking is cool across the board.
  
  Alcohol has been an essential facilitating element of human socialization in every human civilization since Mesopotamia
  Which is cool

Some this has to do with shelf life. Beverages containing alcohol have a long shelf life. A restaurant is not going to take losses on having 50 kinds of juice or whatever on hand. Another angle to this is that a lot of the drinks on the alcoholic menu are cocktails, so just combinations of other shit they have. Finally, what adult is just drinking milk? Have some water, it is good for you.
- Is this coming from experience or are you just kind of guessing? There are plenty of cocktails that use non-shelf stable stuff that you can get anywhere. On top of that, the new movement towards providing non-alcoholic drinks on the menu just reuses these same ingredients in different ways.
  
  I've worked on both sides of the house for 14 years and I'm in management now. The issue is once you open products, not when they're sitting there. Sitting there is also an issue, however, as stock that doesn't move still incurs costs. I work on the institutional side now and we only provide nonalcoholic beverages, but they are either single serve or cheap bulk prep. These are not what people are expecting at a restaurant. Many items in cocktails also have long shelf lives after opening or are cheap/move quickly.
- The milk is for parents.
- With having IBD I'm pretty much limited to water or milk. I'm absolutely going to drink milk when I can because I get fed up drinking water multiple times a day every fucking day.
  
  I guess, I primarily drink water. I'm not restricted in the same way, but I'm an innate fat fuck, so water is my drink of choice. I'm surprised milk wouldn't inflame IBD.
  
  Hydrohomies tho
  
  My wife has colitis and dairy fucks her up 😮
  Can you drink tea?
- I just like having milk with every meal. I don't like water and having dinner with a fizzy drink is just wrong.
  
  What do you mean you dont like water? You mean that liquid that makes you die if you dont have any for a couple days?
  Milk is absolutely disgusting during a meal since it gets so warm and gross.
  
  Respectfully, what the fuck?!
  
  Not judging you on your milk drinking, but drinking too much milk can have serious side effects. Humans weren't biologically made to drink milk their whole lives.
  
  having dinner with a fizzy drink is just wrong.
  Its not mandatory, but I'll have you know this is incorrect.

What's a milk drinker like you doing out here? Go home to your mother.
- Sorry, my mom's busy banging YO MAMMA!
  ...
  Wait
- https://www.licor43.com/cocktails/blanco-43/
  It's great. Order it virgin for just milk.
  
  This is not a very common cocktail at least in my area, so I’m sure most servers/ bartenders would have to google this. I can imagine the look on their face when they realized you actually ordered a glass of milk.
  
  Yea, you heard. Order it, virgin!

The worst is when mocktails cost as much as cocktails. Like a non alcoholic whiskey sour will be $13, Shirley Temples are like $10
At least from my experience in NYC
- What if I told you that you aren't paying for the drinks but you're renting the table/bar stool
  
  For real, a shot of vodka doesn't justify $13 for a drink, it's the rent that does that
  
  jokes on them, i'm just going to get water or fucking leave, i'm not paying 10 bucks for a beverage when you can buy soda at the store for 1$ per liter.
- Margarita with tequila? $12. Margarita without tequila? $12.
  
  Even worse now is the non-alcoholic spirits you can buy that legit cost as much as the original alcoholic version, and then they use that in a cocktail.
  Yes it Does taste just like the proper cocktail but your kinda missing half the point of the drink...
- In some cases mocktails have ingredients that are more complex and harder to make.

To be fair, how many baby cows are even coming to these restaurants??
- Sir, this is a steak house. We have hundreds of baby cows come here every year.
- Should be more than baby grapes!
  Not sure about other countries, but the Russian branch of Burger King had some uniquely bad sense of humor when it came to their ads. The most known as was a wordplay between "Don't get too spicy" and "Don't shit yourself", but there was another ad of chicken nuggets with a little chick in the corner saying something like "6 nuggets for 99 rubles!". I found it hilarious to see a chick advertising their mom.

There’s the trend of restaurants having “mocktails”, which is cool, but they often charge for them based on their price for alcoholic beverages. I don’t really want a special lemonade for $14.
- be me: go to restaurant => ouch ouch why is everything overpriced =< lol kek its 1 am and im drunk rn but the alcohol in coctails is not worth nearly 14 bucks you bellend

This is my favorite thread, just everyone arguing over milk
- This thread has been so weird for me because apparently something I've always done without ever giving any thought to is weird to people. I don't give a fuck. It's all in jest, anyways.
  
  I thought I was gonna start some shit by saying it's more like being a vegan at a restaurant, but I see everyone's already fighting.
  
  MiLK Is fOr bABieS
  
  Is this really the first time in your life that you've realized that drinking milk as an adult is unusual?
  
  I find it pretty disgusting to even watch on TV or something (McPoyles), but I don't sit around staring at people eating or drinking things that I find distasteful so I can judge them; in general I try to not judge people for having different tastes and tolerances than me.
  We could definitely have a dinner and you can have a tall frothy glass of milk right from the cow's udder with it. If you're fun to talk to and aren't mean, we good.
- Almost 70% of the global population of adult humans are lactose intolerant. Whether you think drinking milk as an adult is weird or not, it isn't something most human adults can easily do without digestive problems, and, because of that, it's somewhat unusual to many people.
  Edit: I definitely think of drinking milk as a white people thing. Similarly I think of men showering without using a washcloth as a white people thing. Neither are true of all white people, they're just stereotypes I have, I guess.
  
  It's extremely regional though. Lactose intolerance is definitely the minority in the English-speaking world that would be on here.
  
  There is lactose free cow water. Also, plant based milk doesn't have lactose.

Who fucking drinks milk when they go to a restaurant - are you 5?
- Restaurants menus lacking milk as a drinking option is definitely a positive for me - I do not wish to dine alongside whatever freak chooses to drink milk with their meal.
  
  😟 it's only a drink.
- Why judge people over their choice of beverage?
  Why can't we all drink (or eat or be...) whatever we please without derogatory comments being made? What kind of a low is that?
  Seriously.
  
  Are you new to the internet?
  
  The oldest kind of low. It's sad, but you spot a bunch of humans, you can be sure that they are already judging you.
  
  I'm gonna recognize that what I said came across way way more harsh than was intended, this was meant to be playful, as are my responses below - I seem to be learning that my tone and how I speak do not always translate well to being written - for this, I apologize. I do need to work on monitoring my snark levels.
  I'd like to state - that you are more than welcome to drink or do what you want. I was attempting to razz op - not berate op... even though milk is straight up disgusting and I gag when people drink it by itself and I cannot understand why anyone would make that choice - it is their choice.
  This is a me problem - not a them problem.
  Have fun enjoying your gross animal juice everyone. I'll just sit over here with my water.
  
  Criticizing alcohol consumption = you sleep
  Criticizing milk consumption = real shit
  Also, let people dislike things. If Criticism diminishes your own enjoyment of a thing then you don't actually like that thing
- A McPoyle
- you’ve never had 3am Waffle House chocolate milk?
  
  That's chocolate milk which is amazing at any time, the post implies plain white milk
  
  I'm with them, it's one of the things I just used to drink at home, especially to get the choc to milk ratio right
- Me? I can't understand why this is such a weird thing to you people.
  
  Might also depend on where you are. I understand that in Finland, it's extremely common to drink milk all the time, whereas in East Asia, where adult lactose intolerance is the norm, adult milk consumption isn't really a thing at all.
  googles
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_milk_consumption_per_capita
  Yeah, Finland's #1.
  
  Me? I can't understand why this is such a weird thing to you people.
  And yet you made this post which does the same thing re: alcohol consumption
  Wine pairings with meals are a thing for a reason. Milk pairings, not so much
  
  Because I've literally only known a single adult to opt into drinking milk and it was my 90 year old grandfather. Always thought it was super strange to like milk so much.
  
  Cause milk is calorie rich, it would be too much with a meal. Or more likely because I never ever thought of the possibility.
  
  I'm just saying if I see anyone not eating from the kids menu drinking milk with a meal I'm going to judge you. I'm judging all of Finland.
- milk is good
  
  For making yorgurt and cheese
- My homie, if you have never had the glory that is milk with a cheeseburger, you're missing out.
  Spaghetti? Bomb.
  Burritos? Bomb
  I can keep going, and even explain how and why various foods can be paired with milk and not only be as good as any other beverage, but can sometimes be better. It isn't every food, but it works often enough to be worth trying.
  
  How does it feel to be so confident yet so so wrong?
  
  In a similar train of thought, have you tried having (good) orange juice with Mexican food? I used to love having it once in a while when we brought home Rosa's. Never did at a restaurant. Not a complete heathen. 😁
- why would you not? milk taste good mmmm
  especially if i'm at a less fancy restaurant and i'm ordering a dish with mashed potatoes and gravy, milk is 100% the appropriate beverage.
- Villains
- Who fucking drinks milk when they go to a restaurant
  Autism is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be ... unnatural
  
  I'll give you this one.

me: i'd like a glass of milk
them: sorry that's only on the kids menu
me: you mean you can't pour me a glass of milk unless i order from a special menu? what if i wanted coffee
them: oh then we can bring you milk
me: ok then i'll order a coffee and just have the milk
them: sorry can't do that.
- My friend ordered an omelette without the eggs before, and it worked. A server wouldn't sell me a double shot of Jager because it was "too much alcohol" but had no problem selling me two single shots at once.
  All depends on how accommodating your server is.
  
  Double shots are illegal to serve in a fair number of places, so I am betting that is the case.
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ah4tW-k8Ao
- me: i'll order the kids menu then, just so i can have my milk
  them: sorry can't do that. you're over the age of 13
- I've never had that problem. I basically always order milk anytime I eat out. Sometimes they only give me a kids portion or even a kids cup (it was extra funny when my wife ordered it for me and I was away from the table changing a diaper while visiting family), but usually I get a full glass of milk

Alcohol gives me the shits. Milk gives me the shits. I’d rather just have water.
- Water? Fish shit in it.
  
  And fuck.
  
  So do I
  
  You also have shit inside you.

You don't like water?
- Best beverage ever. Personally I couldn’t live without it
  
  Yeah and almost any other drink contains water, what an effin' rip-off!
  /s

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Lol, this is especially the case when it's my turn to be the designated driver in the group 🤣
At least I'll stay hydrated! Hydrohomies for life!
- I myself was a water bro first, only recently a hydrohomie.

Milk? Is this one of the McPoyles???
- Gotta keep the bloodline pure

Adults: Look at these tiktok kids eating tide pods!
Also adults: Waiter please pour me a glass of your finest toxin!
- Ah, but it's a very old pool of toxin, cooked over rotten plant matter from a swamp and aged in an obsolete form of container, and it made them significantly poorer to order it! /s

It’s about money. People are okay paying way higher margins for alcoholic drinks. They want you drinking alcohol for profits and the inebriating effect makes you more likely to spend loosely.
- soft drinks have huge profit margins and take no server time to prepare
  
  And so your options are alcohol, soft drinks (coke or pepsi branded exclusively), or water
  
  You think restaurants take worker’s labor into consideration when making profitability choices? Look what servers are paid, they clearly don’t value their labor.
  EDIT: I was being dramatic to prove a point. Restaurants run skeleton crews all the time to push profitability. Obviously they give it some consideration, but it’s rarely for the workers well being.

I think it's Edmonton that just opened an alcohol free mocktail bar. That sounds amazing as a non drinker, you get to socialize with people and enjoy everything from milkshakes to rare sodas. Bring back soda shops!
- I believe they used to be called fountains.

I stopped drinking about five years ago, and I often can find a mocktail or two that I like on most menus

Wouldn't they have milk available for coffee? Unless they only offered cream, I guess.
Either way, silly that you couldn't order some.
- The bartender should have some for the White Russians
  
  A proper white Russian is half and half or cream. Don't worry I drank plenty of milk ones after I watched the Big Lebowski when I was 20 but it's just not the same.
  
  Not since the war started and they all got sent to the front (⁠☞ﾟ⁠ヮﾟ⁠)⁠☞
  
  Most definitely.
- A restaurant that doesn't have milk is a probably a shitty restaurant anyway.
  What kind of kitchen doesn't have milk in it? Even the hardest-core vegan cafe would have some kind of passable milk substitute right?
  Next thing you know they'll be saying they don't have salt.
  
  They might not have it in acceptable quantities for drinking, depending on the kind of food served. If they only keep it in stock for specific dishes, the front of house might not even know it's there.
  
  Well yeah, exactly.

In my experience, it's usually the same length or alcoholic ones get almost a page long. Though I did go to one where the non-alcoholic options consisted solely of sodas, shame.

And then?

Worked in restaurants for decades and never had a place not have milk available. It's used in lots of recipes and a lot of the places had Lil cartons for kids, also every drink was available "virgin" if you wanted a cocktail without booze, or we would have apple juice, orange juice, etc. I have never seen a restaurant that does not have a wide selection of non alcoholic drinks. Do you want them to list Arnold Palmers or are you asking for every type of non alcoholic seltzers or non alcoholic ciders or non alcoholic beers? Most restaurants have one or two but the non drunks don't drink 6 non alcoholic beers so it's just not worth the cost and room of keeping a large amount of non alcoholic pre made drinks. So stop complaining and have a water like a real man

The restaurants/hotels I eat at usually have green tea.

Of course they have milk! With vodka and some Kalua/Bailey's!

And the alcohol lists never have prices which is a clear indication that they know they are asking too much money.

- ... What??
- I don't get upset, I get violently jealous.