Ask for the gun and the bullets.
Before I'm sent back, shoot the time travel master (nerd!) in the head. Shoot their attendants, too (nerds! nerds!).
Grab all the other options, and load them in the time travel car. VERY IMPORTANT: the Moog will be playing the Knight Rider Theme until further notice.
Time travel back to the Vatican, Apostolic Palace. Driving the motorcycle up to The Pope, I do a jump that involves me turning upside-down OVER the Pope, during which I look down, shove the LSD down the Pope's throat, and then do an Akira-slide right in front of him.
In fluent Latin, I explain to the Pope that I am a messenger from God who has been sent to deliver a Mighty Revelation. For the next several hours I use all the other options I brought back to astound and amuse The Pope during the LSD trip. During this phase of the experience, the Moog will be playing selections from Pink Floyd, focusing on music from Dark Side and before. The key message of The Revelation is that I am an agent of God to be protected and revered.
After the Pope comes down, I scope out the Vatican's Cardinals. (The Moog will be playing Guile's Theme during this phase.) The spices are covertly swapped for hashish and opiates, which I use along with the Warheads candy to bring mini-Revelations to those Cardinals who seem friendly. Those Cardinals who seem hostile to me, are fed bits of the Uranium. I am declared a Cardinal. When the time is right, The Pope is also fed bits of Uranium.
After the Pope dies, a conclave is convened in the Sistine Chapel to select the next Pope. The Moog will be playing Objection from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (2001) during this phase. As a Cardinal, I attend, and will use the motorcycle to pop wheelies and do donuts until I am elected.
When I first appear on the Papal balcony, to be revered for the rest of my life as an infallible being whose words must be obeyed without hesitation, the Moog will be playing the instrumental version of We are Number One from Lazy Town, and I will be doing an appropriate dance.
I'll take the DeLorean and the castle
I mean, is it permanent or do I have a plan for getting back to now? If it's permanent, the gun and bullets because fuuuuck that. I'm not living in medieval times as a woman. Even if pretty much all of history wasn't a horror show for women, I have like, zero useful skills and I'm pretty sure I'd only understand about half of what people were saying because Old and Middle English were a total suckfest (and that's if I didn't end up somewhere they spoke fucking French or some shit).
If I'm just there for tourism, none of it. I'm not trying to get burned for witchcraft while I'm sightseeing.
Spices. Twice. You can keep the rest.
For most of the middle ages lords kept their spices in a strongbox and locked it away with their gold and jewels because some of the spices were literally worth their weight in gold.
The big problem is that you couldn't just rock up to the local lord and ask him if he wanted to buy your spices. First, he probably wouldn't be able to afford them all. Second, depending on the time period merchant's guilds (like the Grocers in London) controlled who could trade spices. Third, you'd raise a lot of questions not speaking the language and carrying enormous wealth - a good way to get robbed and/or locked up
That being said, if managed carefully those spices could be sold piecemeal to avoid arousing suspicion of any of the established merchants, then that money could go towards buying a house in and shop in town and establishing a permanent business. That is probably the best outcome you could ask for.
No thanks. I'll just stay in my own time and keep all my stuff.
What astonishes me most is that at least half of you are probably highly paid engineers that are debating this on company time instead of using your brainpower for actual problems.
I like it!
Also I choose spices for instant riches and laser for burning out the eyes of my enemy to solidify my identity as a magician. After that we can finally focus on growing weed and mushrooms because y'all know 5 tanks ain't gonn last long.
The Delorean is on the sheet, so it's available, and I'm taking it.
I'll take the castle too, since being landed gentry is one of the best ways to survive back then.
10 jars of spices and the motorcycle. Selected properly and in big enough jars, I could become a very rich man selling those spices.
The bike I'd have an artisan painstakingly disassemble while documenting it for recreation.
It's bound to have a battery, lights, alternator, and some semiconductors. Use them to bootstrap electronics.
The engine could be retrofitted to run off alcohol, or use it with steam. Don't know how possible that is.
The springs would make for killer crossbows. Tire rubber, too.
Really, the motorbike is a mountain of treasure.
The fact that the Moog is inherently able to make sounds without power, but no other electrical ones get that is what really leans me to that. I know a Casio f-91W will last a long time, but the laser pointer and dab pen won't.
I am personally leaning towards the motorcycle and Moog. The motorcycle could be (poorly) fueled with distilled grain alcohol. Not fit for human consumption, but it could make it work. Eventually something will break on both, and you can't fix it. But you can be a form of traveling bard.
Plus if you keep the Moog, you can put it into a place that is safe, then have your later kin give it to some scientists in the 1800's. "Hey Maxwell, here's a literal magic device. See how it works. Figure out how it does this and what it can and can't do."
The spices and the laser pointer? You can just pretend to be a spice trader and when needed, blind people to escape.
The dab pen and magic keyboard were tempting, but De. Wesker made a good point ab out witchcraft.
Motorcycle might be cool because you can melt it down or disassemble it once you run out of fuel.
Another important question is Medieval times where?
I'm not a physicist, but I'm pretty sure 64kg of 80% enriched uranium is more than the critical mass.
Tbh, maybe that's fine. Take possession of uranium, instantly teleport back to mediaeval Europe - preferably into the middle of a major court - uranium goes prompt critical and irradiates most of the nobility. They are already a bunch of inbreds, what's a bit more genetic damage?
You absolute fools, shameless buffoons, the Watch and the 5 watt laser pointer are the only perfect combination.
With this combination could have created the greatest army to rule the seas, commercial ships, spices and war, bring anyone do their knees with a single flash of this ray.
Put fear in to the souls of millions with this futuristic weapon and burn ships at a distance.
Illuminate the night sky as only gods can do. Become the alpha and omega, master of time and light, seas and commerce. Render the Dutch and Britain absolutely to shreds and raise a civilization based on Aegean culture from the Mediterranean with laws and different approach to puritanism and culture to power earlier, with science and mathematics for everyone.
Fuck, well live a different present, here's why:
Wristwatch :
Solar Navigation: By knowing the exact time during the day, navigators could use the position of the sun in conjunction with an astrolabe (a device already in use during the Middle Ages for astronomical measurements) to determine their latitude. The watch would help in timing the sun's zenith (its highest point in the sky), which occurs at local noon, allowing for a more accurate reading.
Star-based Navigation: At night, timekeeping would be essential for using the stars to navigate. The position of certain stars and constellations relative to the horizon changes predictably throughout the night. Knowing the exact time would allow navigators to calculate their latitude based on the altitude of known stars above the horizon.
Dead Reckoning: This is a method to estimate one's current position based on a previously determined position, and advancing that position based upon known or estimated speeds over elapsed time, along with course directions. A precise timepiece would have significantly improved the accuracy of dead reckoning calculations by allowing sailors to keep track of time more accurately during their journey.
Longitude Problem: Although determining longitude (east-west position) remained a significant challenge until the development of the marine chronometer in the 18th century, a precise timekeeping device in the Middle Ages could have theoretically been the first step towards solving this problem. If navigators had a way to keep track of time accurately during their voyages, they could compare the local noon (when the sun is highest in the sky) to the time at a known location (like Greenwich, England). The difference in time would allow them to calculate how far east or west they had traveled.
Tide Predictions: Accurate timekeeping would aid in predicting tides, which was crucial for coastal navigation. Knowing the time of high and low tides could prevent ships from running aground and help in planning more efficient voyages.
The laser pointer:
Burn Materials: It can easily burn through various materials like paper, plastic, and wood with direct and sustained contact. It can also etch patterns or marks on surfaces
Visibility: The beam of a 5-watt laser can be extremely bright and visible, even over long distances.
Dab pen won't last half a cart without need for recharging.
I'm gonna take the warheads and the LSD and blow some random farmer's mind.
"He's freaking out!"
Do I get to return to my normal time? If so then dab pen and warheads for sho. Imma just get blitzed and snack and watch those crazy knights go at it for a bit.
I'll have the Delorean and assuming it comes shielded the 64 kgs of enriched uranium please.
Warheads would probably kill someone from back then
Probably the spices and uranium.
Spices have always been valuable, and I'd "curse" the nobility with the yellow cake and anyone else who bothered me.
Maybe they'd execute me horribly for witchcraft, or maybe I could retire and live a more peaceful life than my current one.
The rockets and the gun. I can use the rockets to prove I have useful knowledge while using the gun to prove that my stuff is mechanisms not magic (by taking it apart). I'll then set about teaching them how to make gunpowder (charcoal, sulphur, saltpeter) and once I'm truly established we can move on to basic firearms.
motorcycle and spices. The motorcycle can be broken down for many useful parts with good-quality metal.
I pick F91w and motorcycle, just cause they're things I want lol. Love my f91w
The moog and the weed pen. I'll travel the countryside showing people analog synthesis and getting them mega high (they have medieval tolerance levels) until those 5 carts run out
Bullets and gun
Magic is real? Fuck, just use magic!
Dab pen and LSD, I'm gonna have a great fucking time
The Moog and the (for sake of argument, diesel) Motorbike. As long as the moog doesn’t lose its magical power powers if you disassemble it.
I'll bring the warheads to give peasants a mental breakdown, and the laser pointer to fuck with medieval cats.
dab pen all i need baby
Give me 10 big ol' jars of saffron and the motorbike. I'll convert it to run on alcohol or woodgas in a sidecar.
Can I take a dab pen with 10 carts?
128kg uranium in my pockets
dab pen and the warheads, please.
I'll get wicked high and make people eat them for my amusement. They'll be soooo wrecked.
The Uranium and the single hit of LSD. Time for the magic to happen.
A gun and an interpreter.
I choose unlimited wishes, take that genie
I would like a gun, but not that gun. Gunpowder has been around a long time. Something simple and robust with a long barrel like a mosin could be modified to work as a rifled flintlock if cased ammunition is too hard to replicate. People made some pretty intricate metalwork though, if you happen to be in a place near a jeweler, you might be able to get some cases made.
Maybe have a blacksmith reverse engineer a rifle, get some folks behind you and overthrow some lords. Kill the old money, set up a government for the people, keep manufacturing as many simple rifles as possible, sail to america and give them to the natives and tell them to shoot at boats before they get too close.
Problem is, I don't speak any of the useful languages. So maybe the Moog and ten bottles of cinnamon would be better. At least I could entertain myself until I die of dysentery.
Motorcycle and Moog. The motorcycle will take me to a forest, and then the parts can be useful for making sharp stuff or tying things or starting fires and I'll just camp forever and play rad tunes. Make a cart with the motorcycle wheels to carry animals or foraged supplies, build a cabin and just tinker forever.
Might get lonely out there. Should probably try to pick up chicks before my hog runs outta crank.
Edit: wait how do I carry a keyboard on a motorcycle
Take the gun, and shoot Toby 5 times.
I would take the bullets without the gun and the fuel without the motorbike. Then I would proceed to tell people about these mythical machines, forming the basis of a cult, bada-bing bada-boom, take over the world.
Moog and LSD of course. Let's party!
None.
I iz ded.
If I can't have marjoram, is it even worth going to the middle ages?
gun and bullets
If I can befriend a local blacksmith, motorcycle would probably be pretty useful. Someone smart should be able to reverse engineer it.
They Synth and the Warheads. I'm sure the Warheads alone are flavorful enough to convince any Medieval person that I am a God (or or the Devil, lmao), but the sick beats from the synth would seal the deal. (Once I learn how to play)
A TW200. 🤩
Solid choice to take with. I want one but they're simply not practical for me. :/For a couple of the electric options, and instead of saying "the Moog is magical", I want to believe they come with a portable solar charging panel or mat on the side, with compatible charging plug, of course.
Spices - You can become wealthy as HELL, and your modern day clothes can easily make you seem like some foreign merchant, so can get you people interested. You DO need to sell those spices fast, however, else you WILL get robbed
Motorcycle - As others have said, you can get it to run on grain alcohol once out of gas, but that's not the real prize with it. The real prize is using your new found wealth to get smiths to make more engines, using that as a blueprint, and essentially kick starting the industrial revolution. Mind, this IS going to be used for war, so prepare to become a war mongul
The synth and the LSD. I'll dilute the LSD in water, give it to a while crowd and jam on the synth, becoming the either a music legend, a messiah, or both
Gun with bullets, then set out to change history by shooting 4 kings or something with a bullet. Then I’ll save the last bullet as a very last resort for anything.
Can I just do the spices 2x? They seem the most useful without getting myself killed for magic or just stabbed in a mugging for having something too advanced.
I just want some spices to make my food not bland, and maybe making some dollars in the process. Not trying to get killed over my possessions. Spices, I'm sure, went for a good price but less likely to get murdered for selling some as opposed to using a motorbike, or laser pointer.
The dab pen is tempting, but with my layman's current knowledge, I should be able to work growing out. More concerned about all the infections and what not my body has no defense for. I'll take 2 vials of antibiotics over any of the other options. Or do a spice rack and a medicinal herb book.
the uranium even if you can't make a reactor
you can use it in sieges, in assassinations, you can have it sterilize your lord's rivals so they can't have kids without anyone knowing
you can make safeish samples using shielding, lead is readily available
you can expose fruit/vegetables so they keep better over the winter, killing bacteria
you can sterilize food and water, make it safer for consumption
Uranium and the watch, for time travel reasons. Gotta refuell the DeLorean and keep track of relative timelines.
How come I only have 5 bullets for the gun, but the 1911 has a total capacity of anywhere from 7 to 9, and maybe even up to 15? Furthermore, how come the bullets look like classically rimmed revolver cartridges, but are for this 1911? I think I might go for the gun, just because it either doesn't work at all, or is maybe a really interesting piece of mechanical work.
The castle and either the gun with no bullets or the motorcycle would be the more responsible answer. If determined enough, you could eventually get it to where you could make bullets but you could also eventually get it to where you could refine compatible-enough fuel from organics or something.
If the DeLorean is the variety with the time machine and the time machine itself doesn't need any special fuel, then that changes things of course.
But fuck it I'll take the lsd and the vape.
