Im really confused about my gender

Any chance you are autistic? I ask because, along with confusion about social constructs, we also tend to show confusion about gender constructs.
- Yes I am!

- I'm gonna have to disagree on presentation and orientation being unrelated to gender. Not only do those things influence each other, but one's presentation (which includes more than how you dress) and orientation can be one's gender. Think of people who use butch, femme, bear, etc as their genders, or people who are arogender.
  This limited view of "gender, presentation and orientation are different" only work to explain cishet people that a gay man isn't less of a man for liking men. But it cannot and should not stop us from seeing how for many queer people not being straight/cishet affects the way they relate (or not) with the binary system, that there are gay men that see their manhood as influenced by their gayness, thus different from binary straight manhood.
  
  I think they were just stating that identity and expression are two separate axes and that someone can present to the world as a woman but internally feel that they are a man. Similarly there are people who appear butch and people who feel butch and those two don't always overlap. In fact, all of the labels you described here (butch, femme, bear) are all distinct gender expressions, although some of these labels largely overlap with sexuality labels as well, none of them invalidate or have to overlap with gender identity. I know a girl (identity) who is almost always read as bear (expression), for example.
  there are gay men that see their manhood as influenced by their gayness, thus different from binary straight manhood.
  This can internally shape their perception of their gender as well as externally shape their presentation. I think it's good to point these out and to celebrate the massive diversity of expression!

Figuring out gender is hard. Picking a specific label isn't the most important thing, it's fine to use umbrella terms like "questioning", "queer", "gender nonconforming", or "non-binary" while you figure it out (or even as a permanent label if you don't feel a need to describe your gender specifically).
I would recommend the book My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein, I found the exercises in it to be very helpful for examining how I felt about my gender.
- I'll try check it out. Can you resend the image tho? I think I'll stick with demiboy for now
  
  This should work

so like presentation does not equal gender or whatevs, but like trying new stuff out can help you understand yourself and what you really want! trying new clothes or makeup, different pronouns. see what sticks. being trans/nb is a pretty wide range of experiences, and its ok if yrs don't match up to others
- It feles like I'm faking it like I don't feel nonbinary enough
  
  I don't think I've ever met a single non-binary or trans individual who didn't have impostor syndrome about themselves at some point in their life. If at any point you do not feel binary, you are completely valid to be nonbinary. We don't give out membership cards and we don't test to make sure you're 'nonbinary enough'.
  
  like looking at some of yr other responses in this thread it seems like yr feeling dysphoric? like thats not something that cis people really do.

I felt like this issue would better be discussed between you and your psychiatrist.
Sometimes there is only so much information you can pass on the internet, it would be very difficult for internet strangers to find out what is really going on.
And yes, it is possible you are non-binary.

one thing that helped me (and still does) is ignoring labels and thinking about what you want to do. like, what pronouns do you want, how do you want to dress, what do you want to be called. i found it easier to think about that and instead using that as a guide to finding a label that fits (or skipping the label entirely)

Sometimes folks benefit from getting down to basics. How is your physical form working for you? Are you at odds with treatment by others re perceived gender?
- Not a fan of my body it feels too manly

If you had to assign adjectives to your gender, which would those be?
They do not have to be gender qualities (masculine, feminine, etc)
- Demiboy, other part is either nb or girl
  
  No, I don't mean which labels you use, but rather what adjectives do you associate with your gender.
  You say you're confused about your gender, what part confuses you?

i am agender but still have gender and i don't know either hope ya figure things out
- Thank you uwu
  
  I think the confusion is a feature and not a bug 😅 I'm some flavor of enby or trans but I'll be damned if I can figure out what, and I'm in my 40's so I've had time to think about this stuff. Doesn't really bother me though; I am what I am even if I'm not sure what that is, heh.
  My running joke is that my gender is three raccoons in a trench coat

Do you want to conform to any gender? If so, why?
What do you think makes one non-binary?
- I mean I don't really want to conform to any gender. I mostly present masc but ifmd rather be more androgynous idk what makes people nb