Imo femboys are in a weird split between kink and identity. Not just different people getting different things out of it (although that's certainly the case as well) but the concept in general. I think this exacerbates the fetishization, but people gonna fetishize everything, regardless of whether it's inherently sexual or not.
If femboys are in a space where sexualisation is the focus then by all means sexualise them, if they are just being their femboy selves then don't automatically treat them as sexual things, it doesn't seem like that should be a big ask for people 🤷♀️
Claiming that being a femboy is necessarily partially kink is harmful. Would you say the same about other nonbinary people? Is being a tomboy driven by kink? Is being trans driven by kink?
I think you're telling on your own views more than you're explaining how the world works. Identity exists separate from sexuality, full stop. Unless you want to revoke all trans and nonbinary identities from aro/ace people too.
And just in case you're just talking about how people view femboys - who cares? Some people view the LGBTQ as child-rapists, and we don't care what they think. We tell them they're wrong and to respect us. Same here.