How much for cuddles?
How much for cuddles?
211 comments
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no nagging for a week
Wow, there’s just so much to unpack from just that sentence, let alone the chart.
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Look at his eyes, and look at his face... this is the trained male.
Long have nation states and governments tried to break the male, to wrangle the male into a submissive state, but none are more successful than the woman sociopath.
The female sociopath is in many ways addicted to control. Her one impulse to anything the male does is how she can turn it into her advantage, to control the male entirely.
Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs, so it's up to him wether or not the pain and degradation is worth it. 4/10 males say it is.
Look at his eyes. He's truly worked for this.
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Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs
Honestly that's a 50/50 shot between fierce and dead fish. I have proclivity for crazy, and a good half the time it's all for show and a real disappointment at game time. That all said, always test drive the car before signing the paperwork.
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Why did I read that with the David Attenborough voice in mind?
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Lad should just whack it to succubus porn like the rest of us.
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Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers. Reminding him to care for his kids because he doesn't recognize how children as his responsibility is now a women's personality issue, rather than a man's personality issue. It's wild that a woman doing merely most of the care work and the full entirety of family organization from cleaning to meals has become something to look down on as a woman failing rather than men being irresponsible and not respecting their spouse.
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You are making a lot of sweeping generalizations that are wildly inaccurate. Some of those statements (hell, maybe all of them) may be true for certain socio-political subgroups of our society, but I absolutely do not agree that that’s the dynamic through which most heterosexual people view their partners (or more accurately, the idea of a partner).
You’re basically just regurgitating the “atomic family” ethos from back in the 1950s.
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women tend to
I'm gonna stop you right there dawg
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Reminding him to care for his kids
by treating him like a kid will not help. Yes, making clear that you expect him to share the care work with you is important. Making rules together can be a way of doing it, but he needs to do it because he is the dad and her partner and a reasonable adult that takes their responsibilities serious, not because he wants a BJ at the end of the week. They both need couple therapy, because he isn't a responsible adult and she infantilizes him on top.
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Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers.
Thank you. Nobody's seeing that. All the comments saying the woman is mean, instead of talking about how irresponsible the man must be that he needs a reward system to do what he should be doing on his own for his family.
I'm not sure if it's the right expression. I mean by his own volition and out of responsibility.
Edit: I won't acknowledge the rest of your comment because, honestly, it got confusing.
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Men tend to trend more irresponsible, women more neurotic, in my experience. There's plenty of exceptions, but on the whole that's what I've seen. Neither is good, both can collapse a relationship. In straight relationships this can result in women taking on everything. Even where she's overcome (or not originally had) any neuroticism, a sufficiently irresponsible man can still put the problem on her shoulders.
What I think you're omitting is that this can happen in reverse.Even when a man overcomes (or didn't originally have) any irresponsibility, a sufficiently neurotic woman can still put all the problems on him. He has to pull the tasks away from her because she thinks only she can do it 'right'. Only then can he pull his weight. But he then must also do the dance of convincing his partner that he's doing a good job, or she'll just feel compelled to do the work again herself.
Of course most relationships are somewhere between these extremes. And some even see the roles reversed. People are, of course, extremely diverse. But this is a common pattern I've seen.
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I'm really surprised this got downvoted... don't get me wrong, I downvoted as well, but... this is not what I expected.
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“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.
Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.
It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!
Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.
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I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can't remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀
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true mvp
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Don't slander cheese like that.
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Imagine the French and Italian retaliation if they had said wheel of cheese.
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It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.
This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I'm saving up for a toothy blowjob.
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I guess I'm just kinky, because the idea of chores for sex sounds pretty awesome to me.
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I was gonna say, the way I care for our kid, if we had done this chart I wouldn't have had time to do anything but get continuous blow jobs and lap dances!
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Trading sex for chores is gross.
Don't kink shame.
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I think you are right if every assumption about this couple we make is the worst one to make.
This might be a cornball gamification of a loving couple's sex life. She might be a sexual assault survivor who requires a few days to get in the sexy mood and reminders that she is taken of by her partner helps her. They could just be glomping for the camera. This could even not be theirs or something they made for rage bait.
Your engagement of public intrusion and moralizing into these people's lives might ironically be hurting these people more than the chart has.
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I'm kind of disturbed by the fact that they call it "being in the dog house"... Is it a common expression in English?
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Someone else answered but yes it's a boomer expression. Basically to mean you're in trouble with your spouse. (They aren't letting you in their bed so you go to sleep with your dog in the dog house.)
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Yes, I've never heard a real person use it but I've heard it on TV enough to know what it means. I think it's a boomer expression.
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-ed
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Love and affection are commodities to be turned into a transaction.
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This guy capitalisms
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To some people, they are.
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Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!
I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell
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Why is she also the therapist? He’s a grown adult and could take some initiative.
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I'm glad everyone finds it weird and gross, but I'm also amused at how many people don't know this is a five year old joke from a mommy blogger at this point.
Never actually real, just meant to make people who were currently dealing with sticker boards and feeling weird about it chuckle.
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I'm appalled that you actually expect me to do research on memes and not accept them at face value. Leave my propaganda addled mind in peace dammit.
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It honestly blows my mind how many people on Lemmy are completely incapable of interpreting sarcasm. I know Poe's Law and all that, but this is pretty clearly a joke.
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if you think people like this don't really exist then... lucky you!
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The comments are really weird. Not just about the chart training and prostitutional aspect, but also that people who argue about it still seem to have a shared opinion that stererotypical men won't do these tasks.
So, even if they acknowledge that the meme is crazy in one way or the other, they're still reinforcing the negative stereotype of the bumbling sitcom dad and that these tasks are not manly or something.
This joke is quite toxic even when understood as a joke.
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As has been pointed out before, Lemmy is mostly people who up and left Reddit.
There's a variety of different archetypes that did that.
And it explains a lot of the more head scratching experiences I've had here.
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Ten. It's a ten year old joke.
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Oh, you're right. Also: oh God, you're right. :(
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Sure, she may have infantalized him to an embarrassing degree, but at least she posted it online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage is and how transactional their sex live is.
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Transactional.
Keeping score isn't love.
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I'd totally get her to suck my dick 10 times per day and never nag again. This seems like a good deal.
I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.
"Honey, the kids are taking 5 lunches to school today, I'm adding the stickers myself, thanks".
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His face tells it
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It is when you want mommy to reward your super duper work because your a very good boy.
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Yeah, but I wouldn't call my relationship with my mom "love" either.
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Back in my day we assumed everything on the internet was false, and we liked it.
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One thing I have noticed is that most people assume that these obviously fake posts are real. I personally just assume everything is complete bullshit until proven otherwise. I guess I'm in the minority.
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I assume it's fake, but there's not much to talk about in that case, so I look for the people who think it's real and then engage with them since their opinions are based how they feel about this very fucked up situation if it were real.
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And then we watched Dana Carvey do an old man on SNL and whine and complain the whole time, "wah, wah, wah. I'm an old man. Laugh at me."
And we liked it.
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I'd love to see him retaliate with a chart for her
[x] Stop being a cunt -> Stay Married
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Mhm, that would be my ace of spades.
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Sure, the spouse that has to create a reward system so that the other person does their chores is the one in the wrong, not the spouse that apparently needs parenting. Also, marriage is a favor to the former, not something both want and benefit from (/sarcasm).
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No nagging for a week
This woman must be horribly annoying
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The man literally needs the motivational tool of a 5 year old to learn to put down the toilet seat or otherwise contribute around the house.
I bet you dollars to donuts he considers "nagging" to be asking him anything that he'd have to leave the couch for.
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This guy is 100% poisoning his kids so they can throw up
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it could be the blowjobs are causing her to throw up.......
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I legit thought this was one of the GirlDefined husbands at first.
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If it's a baby, then my man is going to be getting it non-stop.
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Munchausen's by blowjob
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The pro move is to self-induce vomiting on your own dick so she has to help you clean it up.
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He realized after putting the seat down three times the nagging wasn't going to stop anyway.
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The creepiest thing about that is how she wants her husband to be her child and still put his penis in her mouth. Fucked. Up.
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I would say the creepiest part is that this man needs a childish chart like this just to take care of his children. She's not his mom and honestly they should talk separation instead of having to come up with incentive charts just to get him to be a father.
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Where in there do you see there being a need?
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Sometimes, the latter is easier for the children's sake. I can confirm from experience.
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It's fake, Its a crooked depiction of a toxic relationship which is fucked up, I know, but why would a guy need to be reminded to clean up, or care for their children?
I see everyone is quick to jump on the domestic abuse hate train, but if you are a guy and not doing these things in a relationship you are just as fucked up as this imaginary psycho partner.
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At first I was thinking they were making fun of people who go to the ‘she’s a nag’ absurdity(it is in shitPost ). Sadly some misogynists got triggered in here.
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Why you all kink shaming? Dudes a sub if I've ever seen one.
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Dang I don't see it as kink shame just sad shit. Sex shouldn't be a transactional coin.
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Maybe that's his fetish
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I don't know, from my limited view into the kink community if this was a sub/dom setup he wouldn't need the incentive, the subs I know of in the lifestyle not just the bedroom are legitimately dedicated to their dom counterpart and would do their damndest to keep on top of their duties, not have to be coerced into doing them by a tacky chart
I'm no expert though, I just hang out in a sub focused discord
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Step 1: drink water
Step 2: piss
Step 3: put seat down
Step 4: repeat 5 more times
Step 5: wait till I'm nagged
Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat
Step 7: continue ignoring child's needs
Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is
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Sorry dude but you are most definitely not Kenough.
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Holy fucking shit his face...
This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.
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He looks like a man who forgot that divorce is an option.
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are the straights ok?
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do gays not give bjs after a certain amount of gold stars?
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No we aren't 😞
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Yes this is outrage bate.
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hahaha
no
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He's gonna give her the blow job
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Come here you big hunk and suck on this juicy clit!!!
Yep, that'll get me in the mood in no time.
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She's gonna be pissed when the curtie next door is going down on him. He's just gonna point to the chart. Doesn't say who from?
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Yeah this looks like a horrible couple photo about 3 months before the inevitable divorce.
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That man's soul is screaming for help behind those eyes.
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Why'd they Photoshop her eye upside-down into his left eye?
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Good catch, that's really weird. They must be trying to enhance the battered spouse look because that guys looks like he had his soul sucked out through his nose after enduring a 10 round prize fight
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that guys looks like he had his soul sucked out through his nose after enduring a 10 round prize fight
That's the result of the best BJs on this side of the Mississippi
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They've definitely photoshopped it to make it look worse for the Internet rage machine
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Wait, his kids made this?
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naked hula dance by yours truly
I fukn hope not
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My kids would absolutely put “BJs” as a reward in my sticker chart.
But to them, BJs is the store I buy paper goods, frozen foods, and non-perishables at. I love that place.
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Presumably his wife made it. Hopefully as a joke.
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This image is a fractal of red flags. It's almost art.
"I won't donate your favourite put stained shirt"
What the fuck? One, it's a dick move to dispose of his stuff, and two, why are you donating garbage? Does she think the poor want to buy stained clothes? It's like that Seinfeld muffin bottom scene.
Just all of this is awful.
Edit: how far does the "get out of the dog house free" card go?
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No, she thinks the poor would like a free stained shirt
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Look it's the only row with full stickers. He was probably forcing their kid to throw up just so that he can clean it. This's grim as shit
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Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
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Is it just me, or does he have a black eye
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It's shopped.
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This isn't real. This can't be real.
Can it?
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Sweet sweet summer child.
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It's "real" in that it's not photoshopped, but it was never really used and was always just a dumb joke for social media:
https://www.babygaga.com/truth-about-daddys-sticker-chart-revealed/
y'all taking literal boomer humor at face value. That's embarrassing
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I just watched this episode today! Show is is good, I love old adult swim cartoons. I gotta rewatch through Xavier Renegade Angel at some point as well
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As a frequent visitor of faproulette.co, this is probably the least sexy game I've seen.
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That's fucking horrifying.
How many stickers to get his soul back?
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Thanks!
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How many stickers do I get for painting the ceiling?
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I hate how our society has created a world where the dad of a family is an extra child for the wife to take care of.
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Yeah one of the guys I work with has a 4-5 month old. He came back to work a few weeks ago and Mom is still on maternity leave. He made the comment that because he is working 100% of the child care is done by mom. He has to work so she can has to everything for the kid.
I just said. Wtf and walked away. That is no way to be a father
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Kinda yes though.
Marriage is a partnership, and both parties need to be contributing. If one person is expected to work 8+ hours a day outside of the home--plus commute, etc.--then the other person needs to be doing the things that keep the household operating. The gender of the people don't matter; if my wife works as an attorney, and I am a househusband, that means that yeah, I'm doing the cleaning, the laundry, paying the bills, pet care, and all the other things that need to be done while she's at work. Because housework is my job.
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Bolemia for BJs.
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That is the face of a man 1 BJ away from passing out
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They both have an almost inhumane look fits their actions/personality i guess.
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Feeds dog chocolate every single day!
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Mommy i did it! Now can i haf dat bj now?
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Wouldn't it be more useful if he first threw up and then cleaned up?
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How much for a blumpkin?
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Where I can find womens like her? asking for a friend!
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Anywhere. Now keeping that relationship going will be the tricky part. Think of it cynically. If the only thing you are doing for her is giving her money and adding to the workload she can get your money and not have to work for you by getting divorced. Who doesn't want to do less work for the same amount of money? She won't have a relationship with you she will have it with your bank account.
In general I try to be sympathetic to new parents. I was terrified to watch my first born when she was born. Everything else I could help with but I kept worrying that something would happen if I watched our baby alone. It took time, and I built confidence. Then mom was able to run errands or have fun for a few hours. The thing is I wanted to improve.
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Glorifying male sexual abuse. Lovely stuff.
211 comments