is there a simple way to determine who is federated with/defederated from who?
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At least for your instance, or for looking one instance at a time, you can see which instances they federate and defederate with by scrolling to the bottom and clicking "instances"
Or go to the url of the form "<instance domain>/instances"
I saw that, but I thought beehaw still defederated from Lemmy world and shit just works.... They have them listed as federated
They show up in the "blocked" category on https://beehaw.org/instances