A long and distinguished family

Hate to be that guy, but the icing on frosted Pop Tarts contains gelatin derived from bones, hooves, tendons, ligaments, etc., making it not vegetarian.
- I kinda hope this was a happy accident and OP didn't plan this lol
- That makes it not vegan but last time I checked, vegetarians only steer clear of meat, not all animal products. It's like veganism, but less obsessive.
  
  Animal carcasses are not vegetarian... Things like milk, eggs and honey (honey can be questionable) would be classed as vegetarian. Essentially anything that causes an animal to die to be consumed would not be vegetarian.
  
  It's actually one of those things that varies for each person, how extreme they are with vegetarian. They might avoid anything that contains geletain including gummies or certain medications because it requires an animal byproduct to make.
  Eggs and dairy are not part of an animal carcass. You don't have to kill an animal to enjoy it.
  Vegans believe using animals for any food (or maybe even product) is wrong so they avoid eggs, milk, dairy, etc. Or maybe it's they are vegan in that they only eat eggs or whatever from their own free range chickens. Some vegans won't get vaccines if they contain egg protein.
  Basically often both diets are often moral choices so there can be as much variety to how restrictive or serious it is just like any human will have variety in their morals details even if there is overlap on general idea (ffs just look at Christianity)
  And oh there are people who are vegetarian just because they don't like the taste or texture of meat!
  Sorry for the ramble I found this really interesting when I became friends with people who have different diets. It's interesting how much variety they can have.
  
  last time I checked, bones, hooves, tendons, and ligaments, are meat, not just animal products, and most vegetarians would agree

You've missed off the sausage roll, you absolute savage.
- Looks American. It's also got the American blanketed pigs and corn dogs.
  This picture annoys me because I expected some classic beige foods like a sausage roll, pork pie or scotch egg after the Wellington.
  Instead we get these abortions.
  
  Can confirm corn dogs and pigs in a blanket are NOT abortions, as evidenced by the fact that they are legal in US states where abortions are not.
  
  Toad in the hole! Where is toad in the hole? Its whatever that pigs in a blanket thing is supposed to be, thats a pigs in duvets anyway.
  
  instead we get these abortions.
  We Americans can't even get abortions to save our lives. Literally.
- Fig roll as well tbh
  
  Damn, you're good.
  
  That sounds like the real vegetarian option

dont u ever talk shit about corn dogs again
- Yeah, and kids parties? That shits at like state fairs and amusement parks and always there is your freezer.
  
  Cottage pie can be made with anything else really, not explicitly beef, but shepherd's pie should exclusively be lamb - it's in the name.
- OK, we'll talk shit about cornhole dogs.

I feel like tamales should be part of this. Even pupusas
- I see your point, but tamales are traditionally wrapped in corn husks or banana leaves. The covering is also not baked or fried onto a tamale.
  
  The paper/corn/banana leaf is just for forming. The masa surrounding the filling is the equivalent of the bread on these other items. And sure, they’re cooked by steaming. The end result is much like a hot pocket.

Where calzone?
- They are all calzones: https://cuberule.com/
  
  Thanks for the info!

Hotpockets and Poptarts but
No pasties. The wayward topless dancer daughter.
No (Chicken) Pot Pie. The stoner draft dodger uncle.
No shepherds pie. The religious freak, mashed potato brained uncle.
- A true shepherd's pie is made with lamb and cottage pie is the one that is made with beef.
  
  Well i chose correctly then. Yay.

A wonderful history of calzone subtypes.

Wait, what the fuck do Americans think pigs in a blanket is?
- Here it refers to hot dogs rolled in croissant dough and baked.
  
  Not proper croissant dough, this comes in a can and would make a French baker angry. So it's real easy to wrap the weenies in.
  Don't forget about those little weenies that come in a can, sometimes we wrap those in shame dough too.
- It amazes me that American's are still trying to make this a thing.
  They've not only "invented" the sausage roll, they named it after a staple part of a Christmas dinner. It's two simultaneous kicks in the face.
- What do non-Americans think it is?
  
  Small Sausage wrapped in bacon.

Whoever drew this has never seen a beef wellington before. That's a whole loaf of bread with a slab of beef stuffed in it.
- No. It looks like a giant twinkie with a slab of beef in it

Your pigs-in-blankets are incorrect.
- They forgot one.
  BEEF BURRITO - The stoner that just chills on the couch, until the burritos or weed is gone, whichever comes first. (Date of origin undetermined)

Chicken cordon Bleu, the rich uncle who no one ever sees anymore

Fucking pop tarts lmao

Please refer to the community name. This is a checks notes shitpost - I'm not here to post factually accurate information

Ho Hos: the free spirit aunt who worked as a go go dancer in the ‘60s to fund her hippy lifestyle

pop tarts aren't vegetarian
- Came to the comments to say this lol. They have gelatin in them, which is made from animal bones.
- Ain't food either
- Itt people who don't know the difference between vegetarian and vegan
  
  i mean in this case they are not vegetarian

They are all Cannoli to me
- It's cannonoli

Gordon Ramsey's favorite family

That's not a pig in blanket, pigs in blankets are sausages wrapped in bacon.

Kibbeh the Oriental cousin

so many missed opportunities to create an actual family tree with more great foods, thrown away just for the sake of making rage bait by including a pastry in the Wellington family

My name is Biff Wellington