NASA has some explaining to do

This is a parody account, right? Right?
- It must be there’s no way this is real.
  Oh dip, nice username
  
  Thank you!
- i feel like hes almost too articulate even in his typos for this to be non parody. this sounds like a non stupid guy making a joke for religious idiots to fall for.
- I used to be sure of these things in the past, but now I ain’t so sure anymore…

God: All knowing and all powerful But wait, satellites, oh no!
Bulletproof logic

National Association of Satan's Atheists, or NASA.
- Yes that's the INASA.

"Satellites block God's ability to watch us"
The omniscient, omnipotent god is defeated by a piece of space trash? What a rip-off.
- Same God that 'decided' a year shouldn't land on a whole day. Threw in that .25 for shits and giggles.
  
  actually… .256363004 days or 6 h 9 min 9.76 s
  
  If you accept the Biblical proof of God you do also have to accept that he's a huge asshole.
- Why does God need a LOS?

This is the right amount of crazy that I'm not sure if it's honest or parody for this country.
Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he's in my heart, checkmate atheists.
- Your cardiologist would like a word about having a 2,000 year old corpse in your heart.
  
  But the body of Christ is bread.
- This is the right amount of crazy to accidentally become real.
  
  Don't ask them about the Jews
- Which country?
  
  The gun and Christian fundamentalist one.
- That's not Jesus in your heart, it's a worm
  
  Wait, is that why people were taking ivermectin? Not to cure COVID, but to get rid of their Jesus heart worm?

Funny how this is a Twitter post as half of all satellites orbiting earth (5581 out of 11300) are owned by Musk.
- No, you're mistaken. Lonnie is on the Right, which means his satellites reflect and amplify prayers. Or at least get a pass. He hates LGBTQ people, so he's "good." /s
  
  No need for /s because that's exactly how it works.
  "If you hate the right people and say the right things, you are Good People, and Good People can't do no wrong. If you're not one of the Good People, you can do no right. Laws and rationalizations are there to punish those that are not Good People."

Isn't God supposed to be all-powerful and omnipotent?
- That should tell you just how serious this issue with satellites is...
- yes but he doesn't want to interfere with our precious free will, starvation and rape be damned
  we just have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps

Evel
- All prayers are being converted to "bring back Evel Knievel." We really want him back.

Satan wins again. At this point the Christians have to admit they chose the losing side.
I mean this God of theirs is shit, can't even get around satellites, didn't think humans might beat their cocks raw despite seeing it constantly in Human 1.0 (Chimps), or that they might eat fish on a Tuesday or whatever. Even Jesus was fucking a whore and he was God incarnate.
Also God invented Cancer.
- Jesus fucking a prostitute. I'm interested. Never read the bible so I don't know about it, but I'm curious.
  
  Mary Magdalene. It's never explicitly stated in the canonical Bible (as if that means anything), but they were very close.

This is either (1) satire, (2) trolling, or (3) someone who has no real grasp of Christianity. Or some combination of the above.
- (4) Protestants doing an unholy amalgamation of Catholic spirituality and Rational Scientific Inquiry to reach absurdist conclusions at their intersection.
  
  (5) Cheap propaganda to further destabilize American institutions and hegemony
  
  My take is that this qualifies as having no real grasp of Christianity. But I wouldn't argue hard against this being a separate option
- If there's something the internet has confirmed since its' inception, is that humanity is both incredibly clever and incredibly stupid, in equal measure, beyond what I ever imagined was possible, beyond what I could conceive.
- It's clearly a joke. But it's not that much more ridiculous than what many Christians actually believe. That's the joke.

All those prayers from soccer fans for their team to win the World Cup were being intercepted all along 😥
- That explains all the USA and Russian World Cup championships won. Too much technology 😧

I kind of hope it's real. Down that path at some point they'll decide the whole Internet and all modern technologies are satanist and leave Internet for good. They can embrace the Amish lifestyle, it's a win for the rest of us.
- You obviously never got stuck behind a horse and buggy on the road and it shows.
  
  You are allowed to pass them even if there is a double yellow.

Ok everyone stop upvoting and downvoting. We’ve reached the perfect score.

Is this a parody account? It's impossible to tell anymore.

That sounds like the story of those Christians who were afraid of lightning rods because it might interfere with their God's ability to punish people by lightning.
- Or the ones who thought street lighting was demonic. This pattern has basically occurred repeatedly throughout history
  
  I consider these associations of QOL improvements with mythical characteristics attempts of narrative control, with which religious leaders could exert power over new developments. My assumption is that previously, organised religions were powerful and agile enough in their narrative that those new development could be held in control of the religion, but with the beginning of exponential and distributed knowledge production they were kinda outnumbered and became as weird as they are today. I have no motivation or sources to back this up, though.

It's a good job they haven't heard of ceilings yet. 😅

Let's detonate the moon since it's the biggest satellite

The Jews TM are using iron dome to shoot down christian prayers before they reach heaven.

I did the research. It is satire. They wished everyone a Merry Eaglemas this week.
This is a funny one.

C'mon, the picture is clearly ironic
Don't be so serious about it
- Any sufficiently advanced satire of fundamentalism is indistinguishable from sincere fundamentalism.
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law
- Poe's Law is in full effect here.

Just imagine Jesus up in space bouncing from satellite to satellite getting all pissed off cause he just wants to get to earth and get this second coming shit over with so he can go back to heaven and bang some angels.

I don't know what's real anymore...
- I honestly have no idea if this is satire and I'm afraid of the answer

- The all-powerful all-knowing Creator Of The Universe... needs little old ladies to at least once a week open up their pocketbooks and make a check out to The Creator, through His official human regional managers, because The Creator Of The Universe... does not have direct access to the Federal Reserve or any of the banks, and even with a constant stream of revenue from little old ladies AND a privileged tax status, He ALWAYS seems to be bitching and whining about how He. Needs. More. Money! I guess?

I want what this guy smoking. Their angels need to go flight school again.

Since when does God live in space? He lives in the cloud since the people who invented christianity where morrons who didn't know any better like Everyone in that time period. So now suddenly they accepted space and that God moved over there over 2000+ years living in the clouds, on a planet that is millions of years old.
Special people.
- He lives in the cloud?
  No wonder he always seems to need money. His AWS bills must be enormous.
  
  it's all part of the con. god doesn't have an aws bill. incoming traffic is null-routed, as god doesn't give a shit and never responds; and senders pay their own bandwidth.
- Yeah, shouldn't god be getting more powerful now that the cloud is growing larger every year. Besides those satellites should help with connection to his followers in remote areas.

It isn't a coincidence that's lemmy is keeping the upvote number at the "mark of the beast".

We need to ban prayer to prevent Kessler syndrome!

They say as they post from a mobile device providing internet connection via a satellite.
- Wait, really? I just assumed it went from my phone to the tower, and then all solid wires from there.
  
  Generally, you use the radio network from mobile phone to cell tower, and then fibre optic to the switches. Sometimes they use microwave line of sight for surface-to-surface connections where fibre doesn't make sense, or is unviable (terrain, distance, cost, difficulty of laying fibre, etc.). It's possible that there could be a satellite connection in the process, but unlikely unless you're on an airplane, a ship, etc.
  The GPS on the mobile phone definitely does use satellite (receive only though, no transmit).
  
  That used for be true. But recently, they have added 5G to starlink satellites so your phone can actually talk directly to satellites if it can't reach a terrestrial service.
  https://www.space.com/spacex-launches-1st-5g-satellite-internet-of-things
  
  You’re correct. Unless you’re using WiFi on your phone that’s backed by satellite internet (Starlink, etc).

So NASA is using the Jewish space lasers to destroy prayers? Those heathens!

If prayers were detectable, interceptable, and alterable, there'd be entire branches of science dedicated to them.
- There would also be another branch that claims to be a superset and thus better. Looking at you Biology, being all smug over zoology and botany.
- There are! I did my research!

Conveniently forgetting the "God exists within all of us" schpiel that they made up as soon as we went to space and found nothing there.
Definitely either parody or very stupid.

God's some real weak mofo if he can be defeated by satellites.
- Hooman r haz stronkest tec

I mean, yeah, NASA found a way to literally stop god's power, and they keep it to themselves.

This isn't real, right? RIGHT!?
- Only God can tell. Oh, wait-
- Big if true

Are you sure you are listening on the right wave band? God has moved to the 2.3GHz L-band allocated for DAB.

God: Almighty being that just blinked everything into existence in a.week Also God: me am no completent enourgh to strip theses sattrilghts

- They actually do hang from the firmament! All satellites come equipped with a rope and a suction cup.

I wonder why atheists do this when there's so much real Christian stuff to laugh at.
- That’s probably rage baiting to some degree. It annoys both sides. But sadly it can start new conspiracy theories.

I always knew Arthur C Clarke was an agent of Satan, especially after the disappointment that was 3001: The Final Odyssey.

Amen!

Ok guys who told them? Fess up.

Tf is an artificial satellite?
- an artificial satellite is an orbiting object that is man-made, as opposed to natural satellites such as moons and asteroids
- That's no moon
- Probably man-made as opposed to farm grown.

First off, if Satellites give us more Evel Knievel that's a major win and we should launch more.
Secondly, they're entirely right that too many satellites are a problem, they just missed the mark as to why. It's space debris we should be worried about preventing future spacecraft.

Let satelites be the next god( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Children of time

So, they're saying that man made satellites are able to stop God that he's not all powerful and that we're more powerful than God?
Or is it that technology is bad and we need to go back to pre-technology times when life was so much worse for the average human so that way some religious nut jobs can continue praying to a being that they've essentially admitted to not being all powerful?

Literal atheist moment lol 🤣