What petty hill will you die on?

Vanilla is NOT a boring flavour. It is the best flavour and most versatile flavour!!!!!! Describing things as vanilla should not be synonymous with boring and I'll fight anyone who argues otherwise
- I always considered Vanilla to mean default and not "boring". I feel like only a minority of people interpret it that way and even fewer use it that way.

If you throw cigarette butts on the ground you're probably shittier than average person in many other ways too

Unless it's boiled before they bake it, it's not a fucking bagel, it's doughnut-shaped bread. Bagels also do not contain blueberries, and any suggestion to the contrary should be met with a swift ass whooping.
- Bagels also do not contain blueberries
  This made me think, "Everything" bagels don't actually include blueberries, but it's literally supposed to contain everything! Irrefutable proof that blueberries can't be in bagels
- Blueberry bagels are my second favorite. Spank me daddy
  
  Heathen. Destroyer of all that is good. What is your first favorite?

The ability to spell well has nothing, or very little, to do with intelligence.

Phones are for talking, navigating, and casual content consumption. Desktops (and laptops) are for actually getting things done. Both are useful, but the former is not a substitute for the latter.
Tablets are oversized phones that can't even phone. I don't see any use for them that isn't better served by something else. They'd actually be useful if they ran a desktop operating system, and some early ones did, but modern ones don't.

This is more of a meta thing, but relevant to a lot of comments I'm seeing here. Having an opinion about pineapple on pizza is the most uninteresting cultural phenomenon. I've spent the last 4 years on dating apps, and at least 1 in 3 people write in their bio about this "issue". It's not something that people truly have strong feelings about, it's like straight men saying Ryan Reynolds is attractive, or people arguing over the definition of a sandwich. It's an opinion that people hold as a proxy for being somebody with strong opinions.

Artificial sweeteners is one of the reasons I'm not obese. You can quote me all the studies you want, diet coke is not a gateway drink to regular coke, and splenda on my black coffee doesn't make me crave a caramel macchiato.
- I don't care about the calories. Artificial sweeteners taste like plastic cancer, so it's normal coke for me.
  
  Aspartame gave me terrible headaches. Then I became diabetic. Turns out by that time sucralose was more popular. It doesn't give me headaches and it tastes fine. After so long of having sucralose, I can now tolerate aspartame. Still gross though.
- Yeah. I don't get it either. Artificial sweetners are way more effective at stimulating your tastebuds than sugar for the calories.
  Why would anyone switch to an inferior product which ruins your health if they have the option not to??
  
  I can taste all of the artificial sweeteners. My spouse uses them constantly and they taste sideways to me. My partner doesn't taste much of a difference so If we ever get drinks mixed up I'm the poison tester.
  The only way to get them to taste fine enough is by using a mixture of a few different ones. I'm sure my experience is similar to people who have the cilantro soap thing.

There are three drinks you can call a martini:
A martini is gin and vermouth, maybe with some bitters if you like
A vodka martini is vodka and vermouth, bitters again optional
A vesper martini is gin, vodka, and lillet blanc
Any of the above can be made "dirty" with olive brine if you want
Anything else is a cocktail in a martini glass. No shade if you like apple schnapps, lemon juice, and vodka, drink what you like, but it's not a martini.
- Ah, as a fan of martinis this is a hill I could also die on

I loathe tomatoes on burgers and will throw it in your face if you serve it to me.
Absolutely pointless taste wise and all that water is what makes the bread and patty move around with no respect for each other.
- Ooooh them's fighting words. Have you tried a burger with a homegrown tomato? Pretty night and day, might just change your mind.
  [Image description: a plate with a burger and sides. The burger is open and ready to be assembled, one bun has sauce and a slice of an heirloom tomato, the other has the patty, cheese, pickles and bacon.]

That judgements tell you a lot more about the person doing the judging than they do about the thing being judged

"times less" is not an intuitive, easy to understand way of referring to a decrease in some amount or percentage.
- Right? If something has "100x less" something, does that mean it has 1%? 0.99%? Some other random figure?? What are you even trying to convey???

If someone uses the phrase “assless chaps” I will not rest until they admit that if chaps had an ass, they would be pants.
Fight me.

I know it has a long history of not being used literally, but I think literally should only be used to mean literally.

Microsoft Word is a bad piece of software that is poorly designed, laughably unoptimized, and mostly dysfunctional. It's like a passenger car with seven wheels arranged in an irregular septagon, a 1 gallon gas tank, and a kitchen stool for a seat.
Also hype clothes are a tremendous waste and reveal the hollowness and meaninglessness that underlies most fashion
- Microsoft Word...
  That's neither an opinion nor petty; those are just straight facts.

Eating fried chicken sandwich for breakfast is completely normal and an awesome way to start a day.
- I'll form an opinion to your comment after you tell me your BMI.
- saywhanow? Expand on this fried chicken breakfast sandwich..

The Oxford comma is an absolute requirement unless you prefer to be intentionally vague.
- Fuck yes.

Large Language Models and other affiliated algorithms are not AI and no amount of marketing will convince me otherwise. As a result I refuse to call them AI when talking to people about them.
- I recently saw another lemming call LLMs “spicy autocomplete” instead of AI which seemed appropriate given that calling it AI, while technically correct, I think leads some people to think that the LLM is intelligent. I plan to use that terminology.
- Thanks, been arguing this for ages.

A Chihuahua is not a legitimate dog, it's a rat with delusions of grandeur.
- That's a disservice to rats, their domestic variety are smarter and better behaved. Least that I've seen

Subscription services are not worth it, period. Phone and internet bills are all you need to get everything you want at the best possible qualities in the best possible formats. Subscription services are only convenient for the lazy who don't know how to use the internet.

A grilled cheese is only a grilled cheese if the most singificant portion of the ingredients between the bread is cheese. Otherwise, it is a grilled X with cheese.
- Same opinion. And I like both!

Sarcasm and irony are not the same thing dammit! A limp, unfunny imitation is not a "parody"! I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS, INTERNET!!!

Pugs are not "so cute" because they're ugly. They are deformed from countless generations of in-breeding and genetic manipulation by horrible horrible humans and are in constant pain, cannot breathe, and have countless other physical ailments. They should not exist in their current form and it makes me sad for the animal whenever I see one, and immediately lose all respect for the owner for furthering such a travesty.
- The only way that it'll become better is if the standard for the pug changes. The UK kennel club has updated it's standard to include a healthier head and muzzle shape. Unfortunately the American Kennel Club has not yet done so. The pugs that are presented at Westminster are sickening.
  I also take beef with the awful roached back of the German Shepherd show standard.

Those big SUV like Ford f150 should be illegal, for real. They are super long and tall, the driver can barely see what's right in front, it's dangerous for everyone not in the car. Cars should have stricter limits on size, if it's bigger, you need a special license.

Microtransactions are not acceptable in full retail single player games. I don't care if it's only cosmetics. If i pay 60 bucks for it, i better get the whole damn thing. Looking at you, Diablo 4.

Monday is the first day of the week.
- Do people actually think otherwise?
  
  American here: I fully accept that Monday as first day of the week makes more logical sense, but my brain can’t reverse years of programming. I get very confused and make mistakes if I look at a calendar that starts on Monday.

The original 151 Pokemon had just as many bland, poor, and lazy designs as any generation since (and legitimately good designs, dont get me wrong) and anyone claiming the ice cream cone is automatically worse than 'pile of goo that becomes bigger pile of goo' is just talking through nostalgia
- I think "pile of goo that becomes a bigger pile of goo" does seem a lot more plausible than a literal ice cream cone. I'd take more issue with the self-destructing pokeball pokemon, Voltorb. What kind of evolutionary mechanism brought that on?
  
  Taking one for the whole of the species. Say everyone is getting tamed by humans. But if some member explodes themselves, then humans may stop trying to catch the rest. It's like a monarch butterfly having a horrible taste. A bird eats one, and ignores the rest because of the bad experience.

The Oxford comma is bad. The "and" conveys the end of the list just fine.
Gaming laptops are good and have been for decades.
Soup is not food. If you spill your drink over my plate of pasta I call that a ruined plate of pasta.
- Speaking of commas & "and", I hate that people refuse to use the word "and" in news headlines, they replace it with commas instead and it's just a worse reading experience, I really don't understand why this is a thing.
  
  Because every character used to cost, both in page real estate and ink on page. Today, it still does in page real estate even if the bits that make up the page are basically free.

There is no space between the last letter of a sentence and punctuation.
Please , please , make it stop !
- There is also a space after an ellipsis... like this.
  Not...like this.
  I don't care if everyone does it wrong, it's both harder to read (less functional) and it flies against normal punctuation conventions.
  Also, don't get your punctuation inspiration from Japanese games. An ellipsis is three periods, no more. Exclamation mark always goes after question mark. ("?!" = correct) Japan adopted our punctuation marks and did it their way. If you're writing in English, do it the English-language way.

I will return anything sent to me in an Amazon package.
I went directly to your site for a reason, which is to avoid Amazon. If you secretly fulfill from Amazon or Amazon Warehouses, I will return the item and shop elsewhere.
- But... a lot of people and businesses reuse boxes.

Pizza is not made on a grill or with cornmeal on the bottom, it's made on a hot stone, with flour on the bottom of the dough to keep it from sticking. It also does not ever touch pineapples or ranch dipping sauce. What in the actual fuck is wrong with people?
- I won't question the cooking on stone part, but as far as toppings on pizza go I honestly don't care. Everyone has different tastes and if someone wants to put whatever abomination on their pizza so be it.
  Also I actually like pineapple on pizza, but it's not my favorite. I don't know why people get so offended by it
- Why would you gatekeep what's on a pizza? There's a whole range of textures and flavors that work, that you're telling people they can't experience because you're a hardcore traditionalist? Let good food be good food.

Punctuation that denotes pauses like , ; : should be placed based on where the writer wants a pause and how long the pause should be, or when needed to avoid ambiguity, NOT on the bullshit arbitrary grammar "rules" that got made up to sell grammar books and enforce the class divide.
It's very easy to find classics full of "bad" grammar when it comes to the punctuation because it's in fact not bad.
- Nice to see another fan of the Shatner Comma on the fediverse.
  
  Holy shit, another person who calls it that! I found it on accident years ago and I love to use that term.
  
  I've never heard it called the "Shatner Comma" until today, and I will never, call it anything else.
- Writer here. Don't blindly follow dumb style rules. I write how I speak; and when you write how you speak, you end up using a lot of semicolons and em dashes (if you're competent). Each "pausing-type" punctuation means something specific, and they are all vital for clarity and natural flow. And informal or spliced sentences are good. Style rules are too formal, and sometimes as antiquated as "'ain't aint' a word". So instead do what works— what makes things natural and easy to read.

Chunky peanut butter is better than smooth (unless the recipe demands otherwise, of course). I like peanut butter because I like peanuts, dammit. I also prefer fresh peanut butter to that Jif crap. Having to stir it to mix the peanut oil back in is a small price to pay. The only ingredient in peanut butter should be PEANUTS.
- I like chunky style because all peanut butter has an FDA approved limit on how many bug parts a jar can have per gram, and it makes it easier not to think about what that crunch was.