Ehh really depends on your boss. And honestly it depends on you also. If either of you can't separate work from personal time then you really shouldn't be hanging out. But for most of the bosses I've had, some lighthearted social time outside of work was perfectly fine.
That's just silly. I DM for a group made out of two of my employees and two other people in different teams. It's only brought us together more, now we do stuff for each other's birthdays and have our own inside jokes and shit, there's only been positive outcomes.
Imagine being a private and marrying a Major. She could just order me to mow the lawn, haha. she could order me to cook dinner every night and wear a slutty apron while I do it lol. She could order me to go down on her while she does paperwork and writes up punishments for other male soldiers under her command who have messed up during the week. She could make me lay down face up while she does pushups with her hands around my throat so she's choking me out the whole time. Geez that would be funny, right guys? Haha!
Soldiers have the duty to disobey orders that are illegal or unconstitutional, so she could not make you wear a slutty apron because that would likely violate your right to personal identity.
Lol nice for real though the military does have fraternization rules to prevent (gestures vaguely) ...that
Officers can't be in romantic relationships with enlisted members unless they were both in the same status when they got married. It can get you in legit legal trouble if discovered, especially if the person involved is in your chain of command aka one of your bosses.
Generally people don't commit to a campaign if it's not something they want to do. In my experience, the "scheduling conflicts" referred to are probably other responsibilities outside player control. I can't claim to be intimately familiar with military life, but I presume they aren't being ordered to supercede the players' will to be there, but to take advantage of the military hierarchy to clear their play time from other orders.
I play with the person who makes my schedule, and it's awesome.