YSK how to pick a ripe, sweet watermelon

This is all good info except for the gender thing. The round/long difference is just a growth habit. Watermelon plants (and other cucurbits like squash, zucchini, cantaloupe, etc) produce male and female flowers. Only the female flowers produce fruit and must be pollinated by a male flower to do so.
- Was about to post this. There is a fact check here: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2022/04/26/fact-check-false-claim-male-and-female-watermelons/7366708001/ No such thing as male or female watermelons.
  
  So if I'm getting the info correct: the uglier the melon, the better it will taste
- Awesome, thank you for the info! Always learn something new on lemmy.
- Also the webbing would vary between varieties.
  Also I doubt there's much variation in "ground spot" color.
  
  yeah but some varieties should be naturally sweeter than others.
- Great, now I wont have to be sexist against the watermelons

This was bullshit the first 2000 times it was posted to reddit and it's still bullshit here.
- Show us on the watermelon where the internet hurt you
  
  <shows pale, tasteless spot>
  
  I bet it was a pumpkin
- I just roll my eyes at it now.
  FYI there is no reliable way to tell if a watermelon is ripe after it is harvested. The most reliable indicator is the tendril on the node the peduncle is attached to. When it is fully dry, the fruit is ready.

Nah, I'm just going to continue doing what I've always done: tapping the watermelon to hear the sound and pretend that I know what I'm doing.

Even on lemmy people still aren’t bothering to fact check things. Disappointing.
- Okay how can I tell which watermelon 🍉 is best for insertion ???
  
  The markets where I buy are confident enough in their product that they cut the one you want to taste before you buy. I've never found a more reliable method than that.
  
  Trick question! They're all perfect for this 🥰
  
  Tender to touch but not full of maggots
- You see a female water melon has ovaries while the male melons have spikes

I'll just remember "pick the most fucked up looking melon with patchy orange spots and ugly crisscross webbing". It's probably not going to make the photo reel but it'll taste good.
- The ugly ones usually taste better, just check that the ugliness isn't caused by molds
  
  in general I find this to be true with most fruits, the uglier the better. Those pretty shiny apples are shit.

I spent a season working in a packing house for watermelons. They'd come in by the crateload and we were allowed to just grab one to eat any time we wanted.
The trick I was taught, and which proved to be pretty reliable over the course of the season, was to feel the veins. (This is possibly what's being described as webbing here?) Watermelons aren't smooth, they have wide "veins" running top to bottom and you can feel them if you put your hand flat on the side of the melon. The bigger/poofier/wider the veins, the more ripe is it.
- Tell me more about your veiny melons.
  
  As it turns out my wife's melons haven't ripened even after dozens of years. : /
- 😳
- Sus

This is horse shit

Where's the part where you slap it?
- That's between you and the watermelon, leave me out of your racy play.
- I guess it depends if it's male or female?

In my family we just slap the watermelons
- Don't be melon dramatic
- Good sound, good taste. - a Chinese proverb
- Idk man you do you, but I prefer eating them
- What did they do to your family?
- That is non of our business do what you like

None of these visual methods are reliable as these things differ greatly amongst melon varieties. The easiest way is just to knock on the watermelon like you would a door, if it sounds hollow on the inside, then it's ripe.
- I thought I was the only the weirdo that stands there spanking the watermelons, trying to find the one that sounds like a Voit dodgeball.
  
  Knock they said, stop spanking fruits, or don't, whatever makes you happy haha
- What does hollow sound like? High pitch or low pitch?
  
  Hard to describe, but it should sound more like you are knocking on an empty jug instead of a jug filled with water.
- This I know to be the only reliable method. Also after knocking if you squeeze it it should make a sound as something rigid starting to crack not as being rubbery/ elastic.

The fuck is a "male" plant ovary?
- When I see nonsense like this, I then distrust the entire YSK.
- Testicles(!)
- Yaaa the whole gendered fruit thing I will never understand
  
  I dont know about watermelons but there are a plethora of plants that can not produce fruit without being pollinated by another plant. Also if you ever self pollinate a plant you'll have to recognize the 2 different parts. Is it just the calling them male/female that bothers you? Edit: I guess I should say plants/flowers can have a sex, fruits I don't think would. They are just seed dispersers I believe.

This infographic brought to you by someone selling gnarly watermelons.

- I'm a produce manager for a grocery chain in the SE US. I tell people ALL of the time to pick out the ugliest cantaloupe/honeydew because it's typically going to be the sweetest/most ripe.
  You'll have people shaking, rolling, knocking on melons trying to find "the good ones". It's pretty funny to watch people make their selections.

Why the green arrow for the "wrong" one, and the red arrow for the "right" one?
3 of the 4 items (gender doesn't matter, variety does) are generally correct.
Source: I'm a former watermelon "cutter" (the guy that goes out in the field first thing in the morning and cuts the good melons off the vine, and turns them belly side up so it's obvious to the field workers which melons to load up)
Also, with the whole thumping thing, most people just look silly doing as they don't know what they're doing. If you do thump, ones that have a higher pitched ping are still green, and that have a really dull/flat thud are over-ripe/too gritty/sugary. Also, weight should feel right, too light and it's overripe/rotten.
In general, any melon sold at the store should be good, just take one and stop trying to be a hero. At least the farmers I dealt with are pretty ethical, they aren't purposely shipping bad melons. It just takes experience of seeing/handling melons for a while to get the "picking one" correct. Most store I know of have a satisfaction guarantee anyway, take pictures if it's bad and when you go back get a refund if you're that concerned with it.
- I believe in China red/green meaning is reversed for things like this, where red means positive/good and green means negative/bad
- Always appreciate hearing from someone with experience!
- I don't tap, I just smell them. Am I being a dumbass?
  I don't smell half a dozen and try to select the best, rather - if they don't smell sweet ill probably get something else and leave the watermelon for another day.
- Those are Rotten Tomatoes-style arrows. /s

Finally now I know my melons gender, now I won't get in trouble on twitter
- Stop misgendering melons!
- you won't get in trouble on twitter anyways, now
  the elongated muskrat has blessed us with "freedom of speech*"

I will never remember this but I will think about it sometimes
- https://lemmy.world/post/1046250
  
  I’m convinced I have undiagnosed adhd

YSK: Nonbinary watermelons are even better than male and female watermelons, but they're pretty rare so they tend to command a high price

Anyone know where I can find those sweet and juicy webbed females?
- Um... Florida?
- Bradford Watermelons was always my favorite. We'd get all sorts from them, but the watermelons would make it to the tasting menu.
  https://bradfordwatermelons.com/
  They also sold green runner peanuts before the pandemic.

Morgan Freeman taught me to flick melons to determine the ripeness in Unleashed, and I have honed the skill to a masterful level. Get weird looks from strangers sometimes tho..
- Sounds like a great way to get sick or spread sickness.
  
  Maybe if you're Immuno-compromised, have bad hand hygiene practices, or go around people when you're sick.

There’s nothing better and more comforting than sitting down with a cold watermelon in the middle of summer.
Conversely, there’s nothing worse than sitting down with an unsweetened, tasteless garbage ball of a watermelon.
Saving this to increase my odds!
- Honestly, I actually prefer the bigger, firmer, less sweet watermelons over the smaller, softer, sweeter ones. I don't like how the small sweet ones sometimes have a slightly mealy texture, and prefer a lot of cold watermelon texture with a bit of the sweet melon flavor over a smaller amount of melon with a flavor that can be a bit more intense than I'd like it.
- Tasteless watermelon is a crime against humanity.
  
  I agree, but it's nothing a good sprinkle of tajin can't solve

Never eat them, horrible watery bullshit and more effort than they're worth.
However, a very much appreciated post because my wife loves them and if this is true, I can become the Watermelon Wizard
Thanks, possibly:)
- If you do become the Watermelon Wizard, will you be getting a cape? Or what do wizard wear... a mantle?
  
  I was thinking about just painting my balls green tbh
  
  You get two massive melons on your chest
- Watermelons are the closest thing to biblical mana in these times of extreme temperatures. I too aspire to become a watermelon wizard, but for my own benefit.
- There's some tools take them easy to prep. I have a tool that's just a metal loop and it's amazing. Basically you just slice the watermelon in half then scoop out in either sphere shapes or long strips.
- I'm not sure what the effort you're taking about is. Don't you must cut off a hunk and then cut it into chunks? Seems like one of the easier kinds of produce to prepare.

I worked at a grocery store and the old timer who trained me in the produce section said that all you needed to find the best watermelon was learn how to give it a slap and if it sounds like a basketball that's a good watermelon. Learning the slap takes some practice but when you do it right, you'll know.
- I can attest to the importance of the slap!

Round and brown. Got it.

Fruit don’t have “genders,” this is complete bullshit
- Plants absolutely do, though.
  
  And you can also have bisexual flowers.😎
  Most plants are hermaphrodites actually.
- I believe that's why it's in quotations... this post is going to start a war, lol.

This is one of those things that I'll save and then never use.

So basically..the uglier the sweeter. Got it!

This was definitely a topic of conversation at your 4th of July event.

This is a great decoder ring for my favorite summer treat!

Thanks for this! I 'borrowed' it for our local farmers' market social media feed for tomorrow! 👍
- Check this one out too.
  
  Too blurry to read on my phone. It's that just slow loading or is it pixelated by that link

now do a honeydew
- The outside of the honeydew should also be tacky, like you can pick it up with one hand. If it's smooth and slippery, it's not ripe.
  
  I'm upset at the fact that this fruit does not contain dew

I did not think I was going to be bookmarking a post about picking watermelon today.

neat

Man, coulda used this a few days ago when I got a watermelon for the fam - I remembered the color of the spot part, but had forgotten the other things to look for 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ the one we got was decent, but coulda been more flavorful imo

- Hey aren't you the guy that didn't shit? Are you still full of shit or did you manage to get it out

honestly... that's good to know, thanks

I think I saw this around four years ago for the first time... someone sent it to me on telegram, but in another language.

This is really useful

“by gender” 🫠

Just what i needed, thanks OP!

what if watermelons just suck?
- You shut your mouth!
  
  hey maybe I just live too far north to get good ones but now I just avoid them out of spite