This isn't necessarily what you want to hear but why are you getting a Chromebook? I'm assuming it's required for your school, in which case I'd get the cheapest one you can live with
This may be obvious to some, but for everyone else:
A Chromebook is not a computer. It's a giant Android phone. Unless all your problems could be solved by a bigger screen and keyboard for your phone, do not buy a Chromebook.
C'mon, it's still a computer. It does exactly what most non-technical people need a computer to do. If all your tasks can be done in a web browser, it's even kinda good at that. I worked exclusively in ChromeOS for more than 8 years and it was a pretty Mac-ish "no fuss, just works" experience.
That said, I myself would never buy one for personal use that doesn't have Linux firmware. That will give a longer life and the other capabilities you probably have in mind.
lol, I get what you're saying, but you've stretched the analogy well past its breaking point.
Maybe ask yourself, what does a typical student or healthcare staffer need day-to-day that a Chromebook doesn't provide? Schools and hospitals are some of the biggest purchasers. I don't think their CTOs would buy your argument.